“What are you doing here?” I asked Ace, folding my arms across my chest.
Ace gestured down toward the dog he had with him, a sharp-looking German shepherd. “This is Sandy,” he said.
I blinked. I hadn’t even noticed the dog when he’d first walked over. Maybe I was the one who needed a nap. Or a brain transplant. I’d been so surprised to see Ace that the rest of the world had ceased to exist for the moment.
“It’s my new job,” Ace said. “Training dogs for protection.”
“Oh,” I said. “Is she safe?”
“Yeah, of course,” he said, sounding vaguely affronted that I even had to ask. “I wouldn’t have walked over otherwise.”
“Right,” I said. I paused. “Is this one of those training things where I’m not supposed to pet her?”
“You can pet her if you want,” Ace said. “She’s a good pup. She’s meant to be a house pet. Just trained to protect her owner.”
I crouched down and held my hand out for Sandy to sniff. Somehow, it was easier focusing on the dog than it was to focus on Ace.
“Is that your daughter?” Ace asked bluntly.
I glanced back at the picnic blanket, where Ava was still sleeping sweetly. “Yeah,” I admitted. “Her name is Ava.” I didn’t know why I told him that. On the one hand, I didn’t want her to know anything about her. But on the other hand, it was his daughter, and I wanted him to know at least that, her name.
“She’s beautiful. Just like her mom,” Ace said. When I looked up at him in surprise, he seemed embarrassed to have said that. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “How old is she?”
“Three,” I told him, hoping he didn’t do the math. Did he remember that night between us as clearly as I did? I felt like I remembered everything about it, from the way he had kissed me to the way he’d slipped out, not wanting to get caught there.
I knew why he hadn’t come back to say goo
dbye when he found out that they were headed out on a mission. But it had been hard, waking up alone the next morning and finding out that I wouldn’t see him again for who knew how long. And then I’d immediately started thinking about the fact that I might never see him again. He might die out there, and I had never even gotten the chance to say goodbye.
I hated that feeling. And right then and there, I’d decided I’d had enough. It was time to come back home. I had enough material to finish up the last few stories, and then this project was done.
I hadn’t counted on finding out, two months later, that I was pregnant.
I’d hardly had any signs. A bit of nausea that I chalked up to going back to normal food when my body was used to military rations. Exhaustion, which I’d chalked up to getting back into the swing of normal life, working in the office and filing stories left and right. A missed period, but that was normal when traveling, and there was no denying I’d been stressed with everything since I’d come back. It was a busy time.
I’d gone in for a routine check with my doctor and come out with the information that had changed my life. I was pregnant. I had been on birth control, of course, but things had been busy over in Kuwait. Sometimes things happened at a moment’s notice, and I must have missed one of my pills or something. Human error.
I shook my head, trying to forget about that all now. That was in the past. Ace didn’t need to know about any of that. With any luck, he wouldn’t remember that four years ago, he and I had tumbled into bed together. She had her eyes closed right now, so he wouldn’t see the similarities between her eyes and his. Or all of those other minute details.
He considered Ava for a moment. “What about her dad?” he asked.
“What about him?” I asked sharply. Defensively. Did Ace suspect? Was he trying to trick me into admitting that he was the dad?
Ace shrugged and looked back at me, clearly surprised at my tone. “Is he a good guy? Does he treat you right?” He smiled faintly. “I’m sure he does. You wouldn’t put up for much bullshit, would you?” There was something admiring in the way he was looking at me, and I had to look away.
“Her dad isn’t in the picture,” I said slowly. It was the truth, after all.
“Oh!” Ace said in surprise. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He sounded genuinely apologetic, like he felt as though he shouldn’t have asked. Or as though he wanted to give me a hug. But maybe I was just reading too much into it.
I frowned at him and stood up, dusting off my hands. On the one hand, I was relieved he hadn’t connected the dots and realized that Ava was his. But on the other hand, I wondered whether maybe I should tell him. I remembered what Mom had said, about how maybe I was being selfish by not letting him know. About how maybe Ava would want him to know.
But I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
“Seems like a lot has changed since the last time I saw you,” Ace said thoughtfully. He cocked his head to the side, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Are you sure we can’t get a drink and catch up sometime?”
I wondered why he was still so persistent. And I was especially surprised that he still wanted to get a drink with me, knowing full well I had a kid. I wouldn’t have expected that from him. I would have expected him to hightail it out of there once he found out.
Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to let him know that Ava was his. He had called her beautiful, after all.