Alannah curled her lip in disgust.
“We hated it too,” I said, noticing her reaction. “We didn’t want the life our dad had provided for us if it came along with the things we hated. The day our parents were murdered, Dominic and I were going to tell them we wanted to leave, but after they died, I refused to leave. I felt connected to the place since I no longer had them.”
Alannah nodded, seemingly understanding my decision at the time.
“Trent was bad for me to be around when I was in the state of mind of wanting to feel some pain, the only person who balanced me out was Nala.”
She exhaled a breath. “Nala?”
“My girlfriend at the time,” I said, then quickly added, “I don’t want to hurt you by talking about her, but you need to hear about her to understand everything. To understand me.”
“I told ye’, don’t dilute anythin’.”
I hesitated. “I met Nala when we were ten. She had just moved into the compound with her dad, and we hit it off right away. She followed me and Dominic everywhere, and I never minded because I had a crush her. I asked her to date me when we were thirteen, she said yes, and we were together up until she was murdered.”
Alannah’s hand flung over her mouth.
“Oh, Da-Damien,” she stammered. “I’m so sorry.”
I clasped my hands tighter together.
“Before that happened, we were pretty inseparable, but after my parents died, I began to pull away from her, too. I loved her, or at least as much as a thirteen-year-old could love someone. She took my pulling away from her hard, and Trent was there with his shoulder for her to lean on. Two weeks after my parents died, I was having a really bad day, and Trent made the mistake of kissing Nala. I attacked him and beat the shit out of him. He became hostile and brought my parents into the fight, saying they deserved to be dead for what they had done. He wished I was dead along with them, and that caused Dominic to snap. It was the first time I saw him fight, and it scared me how hard and fast he could hit another person.”
Alannah’s eyes widened slightly.
“I was annoyed with Dominic for stepping in to defend me when I could do it myself, so I got him off Trent and intended to whoop him on my own, but he pulled a gun. If Nala hadn’t jumped on Trent’s back to distract him, he would have shot me. I saw it in his eyes, and he was going to do it. I got the gun from him, thanks to Nala.”
I clenched my teeth together.
“When I think about that night, I can still hear Dominic plead and cry with me to throw the gun away because we weren’t our dad, and I wished I had listened to him. Because what I did ruined my brothers’ lives. I shot Trent, and when he hit the ground, he stopped moving. Blood was everywhere, and shit passed by in a blur after that.”
Alannah lifted her hand to her mouth and began to chew on her nails.
“I knew what I had done would mean I would have to die. That’s just how it works—a life for a life. At the time, I was prepared to accept that. I felt so torn up over my parents, over the fact I had turned out just like my dad, that I was willing to die just to escape everything. Ryder met with Marco, and I wasn’t dumb as to what it was about. If Marco killed me, he knew my brothers would retaliate, so they both discussed it until they reached a decision.”
“The life debt,” Alannah concluded. “Morgan said your brothers started to work for Marco to pay off your life death.”
“Yes,” I answered. “They cut me out of the deal to protect me.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You’re disappointed that ye’ didn’t have a dangerous job?”
“No,” I answered. “I was disappointed that my brothers put their lives on the line to protect me and didn’t give me a chance to pay off the debt I brought on us myself. That was the day I stopped being a brother.”
“What do you mean?” she quizzed. “Ye’ are a Slater brother.”
Not in any way that matters.
“On paper, yeah,” I said, “but inside, I don’t feel like one.”
“Why?”
“Because they don’t treat me like their equal,” I answered. “The treated me like the baby they were stuck with and had to raise. I hate it; I always have. Dominic is four minutes older than I am, and he knew about everything because he had a job for Marco.”
Alannah remained quiet.
“Anyway.” I cleared my throat. “I didn’t know that Nala was dead until we moved to Ireland, and my brothers wanted out of their deal with Marco because I repaid the life debt and made Marco more money than Trent ever could. Marco wanted to keep my family under his thumb, so that night in Darkness when we were together, I was attacked until I fell unconscious. You were knocked out and so was Bronagh. Marco used us as bait to lure my brothers into his trap. It all went sideways for him. Trent admitted he raped and murdered Nala the day after I shot him. She came by looking for me and walked in on Trent being treated by a doctor. Marco couldn’t let her live after what she saw, so he let Trent kill her. He raped her, killed her, and then buried her in the grave that was meant for him. She was ten weeks pregnant at the time; she had told me a few days beforehand, and I began to pull away from her because of that. I was terrified of having a baby, but it scared me more to love it in case I lost it.”