“Okay,” I said. “I will.”
“Good luck.” Alec smiled. “Go get your girl.”
I turned and ran until I reached the stairway, and I didn’t stop until I got to Alannah’s floor. I stopped yards away from her doorway and took a few deep breaths. My heart was racing, and my mind was scrambled. I had been waiting weeks for her to give me the chance to explain myself, endless days and nights longing to hold her. I missed her more than I had ever missed another person, and I needed things to be okay with her.
I loved her.
I knocked her open apartment door. “Alannah?”
“I’m in the sittin’ room.”
I entered the apartment and walked into the living room. When I saw her sitting on her couch, my instinct was to go to her, to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her and never let her go, but I knew we had to have a long talk before that could become a possibility.
“Sit down.”
I sat on the couch facing her.
“Thank you for agreeing to talk to me,” I said, clasping my shaking hands together as I rested my elbows on my knees. “I know how hard it is for you.”
“Talkin’ to you isn’t hard,” Alannah said. “It’s one of the easiest things to do. The hardest is hearin’ what you have to say.”
“I know, baby.”
Her face softened for a moment before she threw her wall back up and lifted her chin.
“I’m goin’ to listen to whatever ye’ have to say with an open mind, so don’t dilute anythin’.”
“I won’t,” I answered. “I told you when you were ready that I’d tell you everything, and I’m going to do that.”
She nodded and waited. My heart thrummed in my chest.
“My parents were murdered by a man named Marco Miles,” I began, my eyes locked on hers. “My dad was Marco’s best friend and had been since they were kids. They started their empire from scratch and grew it from the ground up. They had links to most likely every mafia family in and out of the States, every drug cartel known to man, and others that were unknown, and they had the law in their back pocket for decades.”
Alannah didn’t say a word, but she looked like she was holding her breath.
“My brothers and I grew up in a lifestyle that was nothing like yours. We were treated like princes and got whatever our hearts desired because of who our dad was. Escorts were servicing me and Dominic from the time we were thirteen; the first time was actually a birthday gift from our brothers. Our lives were a blur up until my mom and dad got killed just after Dominic’s and my fifteenth birthday.”
My leg bobbed up and down as I spoke.
“My dad crossed Marco, looking to get some extra money on a drug deal, so Marco had my dad and mom killed. They were best friends, had known each other their whole lives, but my dad’s greed for money and power changed him, made him hollow ... evil. My mom was no better; the only thing she loved was money and materialistic things. I didn’t lie to you about that; she and my dad were cold to me and my brothers.”
Sympathy filled Alannah’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry you were raised by loveless parents. I hurt for you knowin’ that.”
I cleared my throat. “Thank you.”
She leaned back in the chair and waited for me to continue.
“For a long time after my parents died”—I sighed—”I convinced myself that I didn’t love my brothers.”
Alannah’s lips parted in shock.
“I have always been the affectionate brother,” I continued. “I was always the one who craved my parents’ love and attention, and when they didn’t give it to me, I’d do crazy things to get it. After they were murdered, I was so lost in grief that I was terrified of losing any of my brothers, so I pretended I didn’t love them. That way if I did lose them, it wouldn’t hurt. I told myself I tolerated them because they were my flesh and blood. It made me a nasty son of a bitch to be around at times. Because of that, I never let anyone close. I had sex with a lot of different women because it was the only connection that I could control. I was hollow inside ... until I met you, Lana.”
She swallowed.
“Back on the compound, we grew up with Marco’s nephews, Trent and Carter. Carter was around us a lot, but he was the opposite of Trent. He was a loner and never seemed into anything that happened in the compound. Dominic, Trent, and I were practically best friends at one point. The only difference between us was he enjoyed when people were beat up and tortured. When our dad and his uncle made us participate in punishing someone, he loved it and said it helped build character.”