expression on his face, it had been more than a few minutes.
“I was thinking about something,” she said. Which might possibly be the lamest statement that had ever been uttered.
“Obviously,” he said, not even trying to hide his amusement.
She almost snapped at him. She had the right to do so, she thought. If you looked at the last few hours, she’d put up with the shock of seeing him, hurting her ankle, getting caned, finding out Lennox was taking a leave of absence, and then being asked to accompany him to his hotel room—hell that was enough for her to be lost in concentration.
But she was tired of snapping at him. She wanted to go back to the easygoing person she was even a few short months ago. So she bit back her sarcastic remark.
If Lennox could do it—and hell, the last time she’d seen him as easygoing as he seemed to be today, had been years ago—then she could, too. Part of her grew giddy as her mind tried to comprehend the possibilities of both of them putting aside the sarcasm and being kind and carefree and maybe even, god forbid, having a laugh every once and awhile.
She flashed a smile at him. “Yes, I was thinking about how nice a hot shower would feel, followed by some whisky.”
“Far be it from me to stand between a woman and her creature comforts.” He hopped out of the car, and before she could unbuckle her seat belt, he’d opened her door to help her out.
Her heart was light as they walked into the hotel, and his hand on the small of her back? It felt like it belonged there.
By the time they’d made it to his room, though, some of the What the hell am I doing? had kicked back in. She shoved that voice to the back of her mind, and told herself the only thing she’d agreed to was a shower and a drink, she held her head high and crossed the threshold into his room.
“Point me to your bathroom,” she said, keeping her focus away from the bed. Look anywhere except the bed. Anywhere at all will be fine. Doesn’t matter where.
“Just to the left of the bed.” He pointed.
She scurried into the room he indicated, but not before her eyes caught sight of the bed. Huge. King-sized. Fluffy pillows. Thick downy comforter. The sort of bed you crawled into when you didn’t have plans to leave for days. The sort of bed you took your lover to when you wanted to keep them there. The sort of bed that you would sink into after hours of two entwined bodies and too many kisses to count to get a bit of sleep before waking up and doing it all again.
She closed the bathroom door behind her and leaned back against it, taking a deep breath. She could do this. Shower and whisky. Shower and whisky. That was all. Shower and whisky.
The more she said it, the less she believed it. Lennox had probably known that from the start. He expected her to just take a shower. She looked through the items that the high-end hotel had left on the counter and giggled. Poor Lennox. He had no idea what he was in for.
She was going to make sure there was no doubt where she wanted his hands.
• • •
MARIE WAS TAKING too damn long in the shower and to Lennox that meant one thing: she was planning something. Probably a seduction scene. But he’d been serious when he’d decided they needed to discuss things before doing anything physical again.
Damn it, though, if she came out the way he expected her to, he couldn’t just turn her down. Heaven knew he’d hurt her enough the last few years and he’d do anything in his power going forward not to cause her emotional pain again.
Which meant he had to revise his plans.
He kicked his shoes off and poured them both a shot of whisky. Then he thought better of it and poured them both a double. He held off drinking any until she could join him.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, the bathroom door opened. Marie stepped out in a sweet, lavender-smelling, steam-filled mist. Wearing only a towel. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her.
She saw exactly what she did to him and, judging by the slight grin she wore, she liked it. Because she walked toward him in a manner that focused his attention on the towel wrapped precariously around her petite body. He couldn’t help but think about how little it would take to remove it completely.
“I didn’t have anything clean to put on after my shower,” she said.
She stood close enough to him that he could smell the bath soap and shampoo she’d used. Lavender. It was like the hotel knew exactly how to drive him crazy.
“Here,” he said, spinning around. “I have an extra shirt you can wear.”
He expected her to go back to the bathroom to change. But when she dropped the towel, right there next to the bed, and held out her hand for the shirt, he could have smacked himself. Of course she’d drop the towel in front of him. That had been her plan since deciding to step out of the bathroom in a towel in the first place.
“You act as if you’ve never seen me naked before.” She lifted the shirt over her head and slipped her arms through. “You have, many times.”
Of course he had, but only once before with a bed in such close proximity. And they both knew how that night went.
“I poured us some drinks.” He walked over to the minibar where he’d left the glasses and carried them both to her.
She took hers and headed out to the balcony. He wanted to tell her that it was cold out there and she should stay inside. Before he could, she pushed back the curtains, exposing an outdoor heater.
“Fancy place you’re staying at.” She opened the glass door and stepped outside to turn the heater on.
He joined her, looking over the city. “I haven’t been out on the balcony.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You? Who insisted on a balcony in your apartment on the island?”
He hated repeating what he’d said earlier; it had pained her when he said it, but it was the only explanation he could give. “I think it goes back to the island being a large part of what’s holding me back.”
She didn’t say anything, but turned away and took a sip of her whisky. “God, that’s good.” She took another sip.
“I learned about whisky from the best.”
“I taught you well.”
“You did.” Wanting to change the subject, he asked, “How are you feeling?”
She stretched in what had to be one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen and took another sip. “The shower made me feel better. The whisky makes me feel human.”
“Trust me.” He spoke without thinking. “There’s nothing even vaguely human about you. You’re one hundred ten percent goddess.”
She chuckled and turned back to look out over the balcony. “What are we going to do, Lennox?”
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I’m not sure I want or need to go back to being on the island all the time. I have to see if I can find who I was before . . . before Winnie died.” He felt the familiar ache in his chest at the thought of her, but somehow, maybe because he’d finally voiced exactly what happened, it didn’t feel as intense and didn’t last as long as it normally did.
Marie knew, of course, what those words cost him. She tenderly placed a soft hand over his death grip on the railing. “Then you should go see if you can find him.”
“But I want to be near you. I want to see if what we have can become something and I can’t drag you away from the island.” She wasn’t living at the academy while she was overseeing work on the cottage, but she’d be heading back to the island soon. Besides, he’d spoken with Andie a few times about how Marie was doing, and according to her, the strain of being away seemed to be taking its toll.
“Maybe I need you to be away from the island, so I can tell if it’s the island or something else keeping me there.”
By something else, did she mean him? The faint wetness growing in her eyes seemed to indicate that was the case.
“But,” she continued, “I think no matter what we decide or where either one of us goes after the first of the year, we should both agree to complete honesty between us.”
“I hate that I
’ve acted in such a way that you even have to say that.” How deeply had he hurt her? And yet she still stood steadfast in her feelings for him. The depth of her loyalty and the strength of her character humbled him.
“I think the blame lies with both of us, but truly that’s neither here nor there. Let’s not look to the past.” She lifted her hand from his, only to place it on his upper arm. “I’m looking to the future.”
“I want to be the type of man you deserve,” he whispered.
“You always have been,” she said.