"Open your eyes."
His gaze trapped hers, pinning her harder than his body had on the bed. Something shook loose inside, but she was desperate to shove it back.
"You will not suffer in silence, sweetheart. You will give me your voice. Your pain. Your screams. I'll keep you safe, but you have to let go first." His face gentled, but his eyes gleamed with implacable demand. "Don't suffer the pain, or fight it. Breathe with it, embrace it, and you'll be carried to the other place. Do you understand?"
Cara heard the words but struggled to believe him. "Yes, Sir."
His lips tightened, catching her in the lie. "We'll begin again."
Oh, God.
The blows came faster and harder. Cara fought the intense sensations and the warring emotions growing inside of her. His lashes never wavered, striking perfectly over each ass cheek, the back of her thighs, the sensitive crease near her pussy. Hot tears burned her lids, and she tasted blood on her bitten lip. An odd throbbing sensation beat from between her thighs, demanding release, until arousal and pain mingled to a razor sharp edge where she couldn't' recognize one from the other. She would not cry for mercy. She would not cry. She would not--
She jerked in her bonds as the last lash caught her across the center of her ass. Color burst behind her closed lids, and her mouth opened and she was yelling, letting her voice finally escape.
"Please, oh, God, Rem, please!"
"Good girl. Let it go, sweetheart." His fingers delved into her soaked pussy, thrusting in and out, scraping against her clit, and Cara went wild underneath him, not able to keep her reserve or hold back. Sobbing his name over and over, she begged him to let her come, her hips helplessly jerking back and forth, trying to ride his fingers. "Fuck, you're dripping, your body loves it. I need more."
"No, please let me come, please!" she cried.
"I can take you further. I will take you further."
Hanging on the edge of a shattering orgasm, he began flogging her again, but this time she didn't fight the blows. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she yelled for him, screamed his name, begged him for mercy, all the while her body tightened and shook with raw need to shatter under his hands. Caught in the violent grip of agonizing pleasure, she hung there, waiting on his command. Each blow pushed her toward freedom, her mind and body locked on one thing only -- to come. For him.
A distant part of her mind registered Rem had dropped the flogger. He dropped to his knees before her, head thrown back, fierce satisfaction glowing in his eyes. As she hung before him, open and vulnerable, she felt as powerful and adored as a sexual goddess, and a throaty roar escaped her lips, echoing in the room like an animal ready to mate.
"Fucking magnificent. Fucking perfect. Now, I want you to come for me, Cara. Come hard."
His mouth buried into her pussy the same time his hands grabbed her ass and squeezed.
Pain and pleasure collided and thrust her into orgasm.
Cara screamed and surrendered to the agonizing convulsions of ecstasy. His mouth took it all, devoured her whole, and every inch of her body clenched and let go in one dizzying flow of release. Caught up in the violent waves, she heard his dim shout, and then he was fucking her, deep and hard, gripping her bruised hips and marking her as his, only his, forever his.
Time stopped. Time passed.
She slumped in her chains, boneless. Gentle hands freed her from the bonds, and she was carried over to the chair. A warm blanket wrapped around her. Cara snuggled into the delicious warmth, the intoxicating scent of mint and cloves drifting to her nostrils. He rocked her, pressing kisses against her temple, hugging her tight. Cara fell into a cocoon of safety, and for the first time, connected with a part of her she hadn't known existed. The part buried way deep inside, that still hung on to her negative thoughts, and fears. That hung onto the voices telling her she wasn't good enough. And finally, Cara realized all was quiet inside her, like a temple of peace within her own body.
"I still love you," she slurred, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. "I will always love you."
Then she slept.
Chapter Seven
REM STARED AT THE CLOCK.
Six am.
The night was officially over.
As if she sensed his thoughts, Cara shifted in his arms, muttering something under her breath. A smile touched his lips. God, she was beautiful. Always had been, but over the years, she'd ripened into a woman with strength and fortitude. She knew who she was, and it was the sexiest thing in the world. The way she submit to him last night would haunt him forever, and Rem wondered if he'd ever be able to accept any less. He'd be comparing all future women to Cara. The night that was supposed to banish her ghost had done the exact opposite.
Rem didn't think he'd ever get over her.
She frowned in sleep and he bent his head to press a kiss in the deep furrow of her brow. She settled, and he studied the fall of her Titian hair, the gentle curve of her cheek, the swollen fullness of her strawberry lips. Finally, he knew what it meant for a woman to give him everything. She'd be wearing his marks today, and his dick immediately hardened at the thought. Last night, he'd rubbed cream into her skin, soothing away the sting, then fucked her again. Slow. Quiet. He commanded her not to make a sound, and it only made it more exciting. Watching her shatter around him with a soundless cry on her lips pushed him to the limit. The intimacy between them was more than he'd ever had with another woman after only a few precious hours. Rem craved to roll her over, spread her thighs, and thrust in deep. One last time to savor her orgasm; the bite of her nails; the throaty scream of his name breaking from her lips.
Instead, he had to say good-bye.
His chest tightened. Her raw honesty had carved a wound in his heart, but Rem understood so much more now. In his mind, he'd been doing his job. Taking care of his lover, his sub, giving her everything she needed. He assumed confidence and security and encouragement would help her blossom. But she'd been too young. How could he possibly blame her for trying to find her own way? Make her own mistakes? If they'd only met a few years later, Rem knew they'd probably would've been married and lived happily ever after.
Maybe it just hadn't been fated.
He still hated her methods of leaving him, with only a note to torture himself with for years. But in the buried truth in his soul, Rem understood now. In her mind, there was no other way. If Cara had run back to him and tried to explain, Rem wondered if he would've done exactly what she was
afraid of. Take her back, chain her with sex, and promise to make her happy.
He hadn't seen what she really needed.
Grief beat through him. He'd failed her. And all these years hating her; loving her; twisted raw emotions that made no logical sense and pushed him to try and forget her, Rem realized he'd come full circle.
FANTA-C had brought them back together for a second chance.
But Rem couldn't do it.
God, he wished they had a shot to start over. But the past was too big for him to get past. One night wasn't enough to cleanse his soul and allow him to begin again. There was still too much disappointment for his inability to make her truly happy years ago. And who knows if he could ever make the new Cara happy? He didn't know what she wanted or needed anymore. It was a blueprint for disaster.
"Rem?"
Her husky voice raked across his ears. He stared down, stroking her tangled hair back from her face, and smiled. "Hey, sweetheart. How do you feel?"
"Good. Tired. Happy." She smiled back. "Sated."
"Then I did my job. I'll run you a bath to soak your sore muscles."
"Will you stay?"
He jerked back. His new Cara was ruthlessly, honest and direct. Pride filled him, along with a deep sadness that rivaled Eyore. He'd wanted to spoil her for a bit before walking away. But maybe this was better. Cleaner. How could he fight his instinct to make her his one more time? It would be too dangerous.
He may decide never to leave.
"No," he said. "I'm not staying, Cara."
She raised her chin. Those meadow green eyes glinted with resolve. "Why not? I'm asking you to please think about giving us a try. I want to know who you are today. I know we can never be what we were, Rem. I ruined that for both of us. But maybe we can be something even better."