He couldn't take the searing hope in her eyes, so he got out of bed and pulled on his jeans. "I can't. Last night was special to me. Being with you again was amazing. But I failed you before, and damned if I'm going to do that again."
Rem jerked back as a pillow hit his back. WTF?
She stood beside the bed, naked, shaking with anger.
"Don't you dare give me that shit, Remington Steele!" she shot back. "You didn't fail anyone. I was the one who ran away and chose not to talk to you. I can't erase the past, but I'll be damned if I allow you to blame yourself. You loved me well. I just wasn't ready."
His gaze narrowed. His dick hardened and throbbed. Holy shit, she was magnificent. Naked, trembling, eyes lit with fire, her white skin held an array of pinkish marks he'd put on her. "Don't throw another pillow at me, woman. It was my responsibility to figure out if something bothered you. I should've known you were pulling away and unhappy. I have to live with that. I don't want to hurt you, but this needs to end with last night."
"No."
He shook his head. "What did you just say to me?"
In pure shock, he dodged the next pillow launched at his head. Cara was mischievous but never would've dared to throw something at him. "This doesn't have to end unless you're too much of a coward to try," she said. "Don't do what I did, Rem. Don't run from this."
Anger shook through him. How dare she question his motives and challenge his decision? With one yank, his jeans came back down. "Beg me for forgiveness, right now, Cara. Or you'll regret it." His Dom voice usually left her apologetic and a bit humbled.
This time, the third pillow hit his shoulder.
"Fuck you!"
"Oh, I will, little girl. You asked for it." She bit her lip, looking for an escape route. Adrenalin flooded his body and his cock was so damn hard it could cut stone. "Run, and it'll be worse."
She ran.
Good. He was looking forward to this.
He launched himself across the bed and snagged her around the waist. Holding on to her wriggling, naked body, she screeched in protest as he threw her down and pinned her to the mattress. He held her wrists in one hand while he quickly donned the condom. Not wasting any time, he pushed her legs open with his thigh, and took her with one strong thrust.
"Oh, God!"
"Fuck, you're so wet," he grit out. "This one's for me, little brat."
Rem fucked her hard and long, holding her arms above her head. This time, it was a simple claiming, a reminder of who was in charge and who she belonged to. In seconds, she was writhing beneath him, looking for more, her hard nipples stabbing against his bare chest in demand. Her pussy clenched around his dick and with one last plunge, he came hard, jerking his hips to spill the last of his seed, roaring her name in satisfaction.
Fully sated, he pulled out and slipped off the condom. Her body was flushed, and her arousal lay sticky on her thighs. Her clit peeked out, dying for attention.
"Very nice."
He climbed off the bed and she sat up, eyes wide with astonishment. "What? You can't leave me like this!"
He frowned. "I'd advise you to remember you got in this position for mouthing off. And throwing pillows."
"Please, Rem. I need you."
Her soft voice trembled with need, and her beautiful body was ripe for the plucking. Rem stood, feet braced apart, and motioned her.
"On your knees. Show me how much you need me."
Cara scrambled off the bed and dropped to her knees. Her gaze trained on him, she waited for permission. Satisfaction cut through him. She was so perfect. Finally, he nodded. "Suck my cock. Make me come again."
She cradled his dick with warm, gentle hands, stroking and teasing from root to tip, then lowered her mouth and took him deep.
Ah, shit.
It was heaven. It was hell. Her wet mouth sucked him tight, and her fingers caressed and squeezed his balls in perfect rhythm. He rocked his hips back and forth, and almost immediately, he grew back to full length. Bumping the back of her throat, she hummed around his cock, breathing through her nose and taking him all in, until he went crazy and grabbed her head, making her fuck him with short, hard thrusts.
He exploded in her mouth, coming down her throat, and she swallowed, licking him clean, before sitting back on her heels. Rem groaned and gripped her chin, looking down at her.
Her face reflected a pure joy from serving him. Pure need from wanting him. And pure grace for surrendering.
"Sir? I'm begging you..."
He struggled for breath. "For what? State your need."
"I'm begging you to fuck me, Sir. I need you inside me."
Rem broke.
With a groan, he pushed her down on the carpet, grabbed another condom, and slid home. This time, he made sure she came fast and hard. With expert strokes, he rubbed her clit continuously until she fell into another orgasm, breaking apart in the grip of his arms.
When they finally collapsed, she asked him again. "Stay with me, Sir. Give us one more chance."
His eyes half closed and he fought the war inside him that screamed for him to give in. To try. But he didn't trust himself not to blur the past with the present. What if he scared her off again and he found himself hurt? This time, he'd never recover. There'd be no hope of picking up the pieces.
No, he had to walk away with a perfect memory. At least, he finally knew the truth and could begin to heal from the past.
"I can't," he said softly. "I don't want either of us to be hurt again, Cara."
Her eyes filled with tears and a broken understanding that ripped him apart. "I learned another thing through the years, Rem. Life is messy. There's no guarantees. I'm okay with it now, because the trade-off is worth everything. But I can't do it alone. You have to want me as bad as I want you."
"Cara--"
"It's okay. I understand." She forced a smile. "May I ask you to please, leave? I need some time alone."
His emotions warred. His gut ached to give in and stay, but his mind locked down and forced his body to leave the bed and get dressed. He paused at the door, his fingers wrapped around the knob.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes. Good-bye, Rem. Thank you for last night. I'll never forget it."
"Neither will I." He dragged in a breath and opened the door. "Good-bye, Cara."
He left the room with an emptiness and searing pain, telling himself over and over it was all for the best.
-Em's EORD-
Chapter Eight
"WAIT A MINUTE. YOU SAW CARA? Cara was your one night stand?" Rafe asked in disbelief.
Rem sipped his coffee and regarded his brothers. They always had brunch on Sundays, which was a good time to catch up, recover from any hangovers and pig out. Rome was ignoring his giant stack of banana pancakes, fork poised mid-flight. Rick stared, mouth half-open like a guppy.
"You guys didn't know anything about this, right?"
Rick shook his head. "Dude, we'd never do that to you. The reason we set up FANTA-C in the first place was to help you get over her. What the hell is she doing in Vegas?"
Rem rubbed his forehead. "I don't know," he admitted. "Not sure if I even asked her. The night was like a whirlwind. "
Rafe propped his elbows on the table. "Did you sleep with her?"
Rem nodded.
"Are you back together?" Rick asked.
"No. She asked me to give her another chance, but it's too much for me."
Rome tapped the table with his finger. "How do you feel about her? Do you want to try again? Did she tell you why she left?"
Rem gave him the brief run-down on Cara's explanation. "I blame myself. I should've known how unhappy she was. Fuck, she had to run away from me in order to be heard. What type of Dom am I? What type of lover am I?"
Rick turned hard eyes on him. "First off, you were in love and would've died for Cara. You're not a mind reader. None of us are. We can only help our women if they tell us the truth, and that's been the downfall of a ton of relationships
. Does Cara blame you?"
"No, she blames herself."
"I still hate the way she did it," Rome said. "But I think you were both at fault. Being a martyr though, doesn't help the situation, bro. You can't change the past, but you can damn well make sure you have open communication in the future. Did you like being with her again?"
It had only been two nights since he left her, and already he felt like he was slowly going out of his mind. He caught her scent around each corner. He'd followed two strange women already because the swing of their hips and shot of red hair reminded him of Cara. He was a wreck, but he hoped with enough time, he'd settle.
Rem groaned. "Hell, yes, I loved being with her. But I'm not up for this shit again. She has this spell over me. I just look at her and I'm hard and all I want to do is fuck her and protect her and make her happy."
Rome winced. "Yep, I feel that way about Sloane. You're done, dude. You still love her."
Rafe nodded. "That's the exact feeling I get about Summer. I don't think it goes away. Believe me, I tried."
Rem looked at his last brother.
"Tara is my life," he said simply. "And if you feel half of what I do for Tara, I wouldn't let her go, bro."