“An Amazon.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you stay in Sabine Valley?”
“I wanted to rule.” My tone is off, but I can’t seem to help it. I have never once questioned that my sister would take on the role of leader when our mother stepped down. I never once doubted her ability to lead. Until now. They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, but I can’t see what alternate path would have been better. Should I have staged a coup and destabilized the community generations have fought and worked to bring to power and keep safe? Turned my back on my sister, whom I love?
No. There are no easy answers. I know that, even if I’m having trouble accepting it.
“But you couldn’t lead in Sabine Valley because of your sister, right?” Aurora, savvy as always, narrows her eyes. “I heard the Amazons have had a bit of trouble.”
“A bit of trouble.” I sound bitter. I should keep my thoughts to myself, but the truth is that I can’t speak to any of my people about this. No matter if we’re in Carver City or Sabine Valley, we’re Amazons. We owe allegiance to our queen, flawed though she may be. We aren’t a people who expect blind obedience, but unless I’m willing to wade in and try to fix things, I have no place to talk in a way that might undermine my sister’s power further.
I shouldn’t talk to Aurora about it, either. No matter that she stands outside the hierarchy, she is still Hades’s creature. But… What does Hades care for other empires? He’s a spider in a web of his own making. If he keeps his finger on the pulse of neighboring cities, it’s only to serve the purpose of keeping our city stable.
I’m simply looking for an excuse. I open my mouth, but the server appears before I have a chance to decide if I want to shut down this conversation or indulge in it. Aurora cuts in and orders a salad before I have a chance to order for both of us, and amusement curls through me at her continued pushback. It’s what I want, after all. She delivers in spades. I order and wait for him to leave the room before I turn to her.
Apparently I do want to talk about things.
“My sister underestimated her enemy.” I still don’t understand why. The Paine family created one-third of the power structure that kept Sabine Valley running smoothly. There were conflicts, of course there were conflicts, but that’s what the quarterly feasts were designed to combat. They served that function perfectly when I was still in the city. Had things changed that much in the following decade that the Amazons and Mystics were willing to work together to oust the Paine family? I don’t know. My information is incomplete, and Aisling isn’t talking. “I don’t know what convinced her not to send people to hunt them to the ends of the earth, but they survived the coup eight years ago. During Lammas, the seven sons of our old enemy arrived and demanded to participate in the ritual combat.”
Aurora takes a sip of her wine. “Why not just kill them then and be done with it?”
“It’s forbidden. The laws of feast days are laws, if unwritten. No one can ignore them or they risk complete ruin. Every single person in Sabine Valley will turn against them.”
Aurora’s watching me closely, a strange look on her face. “It sounds like those guys have reason to want their revenge. Like they’re justified.”
“Undoubtedly.” I stare into my wine. “And they’ve earned it through the ritual combat. They took on seven of the best warriors the three leaders had to offer and won. It’s not the revenge that bothers me, it’s the method.”
“That seems rather nitpicky.”
“There are rules, Aurora. You take your revenge with the people responsible. You don’t go after those who had nothing to do with it.” My hand shakes, and I can’t tell if it’s anger or sorrow. I carefully set the glass back on the table. “Two nieces and my baby brother. They are the ones paying the price for my sister’s mistake. That is what I can’t forgive.”
She laughs awkwardly. “It’s really weird to think about you with family. You’re such a lone figure.”
That surprises me enough to look at her. “Did you never stop to think that there’s a purpose to that? When it comes to enemies, I am the only one with a target painted on my chest. No one will look at my people, at my friends, at my distant family, when they only have eyes for me.” I can see from her face that she never considered it, and why would she? I have spent so long being the ice bitch queen, it shouldn’t surprise me when that’s all people see. It’s the sole purpose of that role; though, after all this time, it hardly feels like a role any more. It’s simply me.