“One would think.” She keeps her eyes on a spot on the floor. “But unfortunately you were right the other night when you said that the very thing that draws them to me is the thing they can’t deal with once we’re in a relationship. Oliver liked the novelty of having a professional submissive as his girlfriend, until he realized I wasn’t going to take sex off the table with my clients. Hazel said she didn’t care about my job at all, but the longer we dated, the more she demanded to know how she stacked up against the other people I was sleeping with. And Finn…” She sighs. “Well, Finn was a mistake.”
The ache in her voice ignites one in my chest. Aurora is one hell of a prize, yes, but she deserves so much better than to be treated like she has. “You have terrible taste in partners.”
At that, she finally looks at me, her eyes lighting up with anger. “Shall we start throwing stones? Because you haven’t dated anyone seriously since you’ve been a territory leader.”
“We’re not talking about me.” But it feels strange to pull forth an ugly truth from her without answering in kind. “The answer to that is in the statement. I am territory leader. I can’t afford to pick the wrong partner, and after spending twenty years solidifying my base and building up a foundation for the people here, it’s easier to just…not date. I get my needs met in other ways.” In the Underworld, mostly, though I occasionally do indulge outside the club.
Aurora lifts her chin. “I’ve come to the same conclusion for similar reasons.”
I don’t ask her if it gets lonely. I already know the answer, don’t I? Sex is wonderful, kink is equally wonderful, but there’s a gap there that sometimes I suspect will stay forever. That kind of intimacy that comes with trust and caring like my parents had. I tell myself it’s simply not in the cards for me, but the truth is that some days I wish it was.
We lapse into silence as the door opens and the server appears. He’s a nice-looking Hispanic man with close-cropped hair and, if I’m not mistaken, some artfully subtle eyeliner. “Thank you for joining us tonight. We operate the private rooms a little differently than the open seating. I’ll take your drink orders now, and when I come back, I’ll take your food orders. After that, there’s a button in the center of your table that you can push if you need anything, but otherwise I won’t interrupt you.” He gives us an easy smile. “What can I get you to drink?”
I originally had no intention of pulling a ridiculous move like ordering for Aurora, but I don’t like this uncertain ground we’re standing on. Better to go back to her bratty submissive role than to continue on with this awkward conversation.
I speak before she has a chance to. “We’ll have merlot; the one I usually order. Bring water as well.”
“Of course.” The server leaves as quickly as he arrived.
“I didn’t want wine.”
I almost smile at the prickliness in her voice. There you are. “Yes, you did. You’ll like this blend.”
“It’s incredibly creepy that you think you know so much about me.” She glares. “What? Do you have a file on me somewhere with all my favorite things?”
“No need. I pay attention.” I allow myself to look at her. Gods, Aurora really is magnificent. She’s got a flawless kind of beauty that draws predators and protectors alike, but it’s the core of pure flame that makes my mouth water. “But people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones when it comes to keeping files on potential enemies.”
She holds my gaze, and I like that she doesn’t get flustered in response. “If you were Hades, you’d do the same thing.”
I already do the same thing. The first task I took on when arriving in Carver City was evaluating the territory leaders and the territories themselves for risk and potential. The city is mostly stable at this point, but I still keep an eye on things. No matter what others might think of me, war is only profitable to weapons dealers and leaders with weak holds on their people. I am neither.
I lean forward and enjoy the way her gaze skates down the exposed V of my shirt. “And what does my file say?”
“You’re a good leader.” She says it like it pisses her off. “Your people both aboveboard and below are happy and taken care of. You’re also particularly vicious with your enemies and prone to making examples.”
I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve had to make an example of anyone, but that’s the point. I came into power brutally, but now those measures are the exception rather than the rule. I shrug. “It’s how I was raised.”