But it’s not all of me.
The sheer vulnerability that I just shared with her makes my skin crawl. I take a drink of wine and clear my throat. “That’s enough of that. Pull up your dress. I’m ready for an appetizer.”14AuroraI almost welcome the sexual distraction. It’s easier to deal with than this new angle of Malone. I have watched this woman for years, waiting for the right opportunity. In all that time, I’ve never once seen her as anything other than a woman who worships at the altar of ambition and little else. Yes, she takes care of her people, but that doesn’t negate the damage she’s done or the people she hurts. It doesn’t change the fact that she took away one of the most important people in my life when I was far too young to withstand the loss.
I don’t know why it never occurred to me that Malone would have family, friends, people she cared about beyond Ursa. She was just an ambitious monster who wasn’t content with second place in Sabine Valley, so she came here to rule. Of course she didn’t care about the people she left behind.
I realize now that I’ve been making a lot of assumptions.
It doesn’t change what Malone did to my mother, but it also isn’t the sum of who she is. The knowledge shouldn’t change anything. There is a perfectly good steak knife sitting on the table between us. She’s relaxed and distracted. All I have to do is grab it and plunge it into her chest, bearing her down to the ground and cover her mouth so she can’t scream. I can almost picture it in my head. Almost. All I have to do is move, is attack, is act out the revenge that I was so sure I wanted when I agreed to this.
I will my hand to move. I will myself to ignore the barely shielded pain in her voice when she spoke about her nieces and brother. I shouldn’t want to comfort her. She’s my enemy. I close my eyes for a long moment, but the fire that encased me when I formed this plan flickers just out of reach. All I feel is a drenching sadness. I unclench my fist and open my eyes. It doesn’t have to be tonight. I can get my revenge later. “Is there anything you can do to help them?”
I half expect her to push the command, but she sighs. “No. The victor of the match sets the reward, and the reward they demanded for the loss in combat is handfasting. It was agreed upon by all parties. The ceremony was completed that night. There’s nothing we can do.”
I stare. I know Sabine Valley is a completely different environment, of course, but surely I didn’t misread Malone that badly. “Since when have rules ever stopped you from taking what you want?”
“Rules are there for a reason. The more you flout them, the more ammunition you give the people who work against you. A ruler is only in place through will of the people, whatever their motivation, be it fear or love or loyalty. The moment you start breaking your own rules is the first step toward the end. All the Brides agreed to the handfasting. If my sister attempts to kill the Paine brothers now, the entire city will build a pyre with her name on it and scramble over each other to light the first match.”
I shudder. Handfasting is a year-long marriage-type relationship. A year can be an eternity or a blink of an eye, but I can’t imagine being strong-armed into that situation with the enemy will be anything but torture. “Still. Isn’t there something to be done?”
She gives a faint smile. “My nieces and brother are made of sterner stuff than can be broken by this experience, and it’s not in the Paine brothers’ best interest to truly torture them. Every single person picked wasn’t part of the decision-making process that resulted in them being run out of town. That was no doubt intentional.” Her smile fades. “But it doesn’t change the fact that my sister made a misstep. She’ll have lost the trust of some of our people, and that is worrisome, especially when her heir is currently little more than a captive to Broderick Paine. It reeks of weakness for both of them, and that’s something the Amazons will never accept. If something happens…” She gives herself a shake. “It won’t. I don’t know why I’m musing on this.”
Because she’s got the mind of a general predicting the waves of a war. I lean forward, curious despite myself. “What will happen if the Amazons lose faith in your sister and her heir?”
“We’re a matriarchal society. They’ll either skip to Aisling’s second daughter, Thea, or they’ll skip Aisling’s tree entirely.”