“It’s true, Hudson. Fuck only knows how Icy managed it, but she did. I love her, man. Please don’t push her away,” Max says, searching for my hand. I take it and he brings it up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. Hudson swallowshard.
“Nothing will push me away, Max,” I reassure him. “I love you, it’s as simple and as complicated asthat.”
“I love Louisa too, but you know this already,” Bryce says to Hudson. “What I said to you at the hospital remains the same. Louisa has changed my life for the better. She’s a fucking miracle. Damn it, Hudson, I need you to remember…” his voice wavers and he clamps his mouthshut.
Hudson swipes a hand through his hair and regards us all. “I don’t know what to say. This is too fucking much.” He looks at me in confusion, with fear, with… hope. Or at least that’s what it looks like to me. It softens my next words alittle.
“You may never get your memories back, Hudson. That scares me to death too. I fear that whatever magic made us fall in love in the first place might not happen again, but I will fight for us. I love you, I will not run,” I say gently, echoing the promise I made to him a few monthsago.
A small part of me was hoping the moment I uttered those words he would remember. Not thistime.
With shaking hands, Hudson places his mug on the table. I want nothing more than to go to him, comfort him. My heart aches at this barrier between us. It’s killing me. But he isn’t ready for more thanwords.
“But this,” he says, waving his hand in the air. “The easy way you are with each other. I am a stranger to whatever this is between you all. I’m on the outside, looking in. I don’t know you. This I don’tunderstand.”
“Yes, you do. You just don’t remember.” I sigh. I am on the verge of crying bitter tears, but I won’t. They would do no good. Strength is what I need now. I need to be strong for all of us. “Hudson, I know everything about you. I know how you like to take your tea. I know where you like to be kissed the most, that spot there right in the palm of your hand.” His eyes drop to his open palm and he closes his fist over it, shock and surprise mingling on hisfeatures.
“I know what you look like when you’re about to come. I know how much you love Bryce and Max, how much you worry about them even now they’re adults. I know about your mum and what she did to you. I know about the cruelty you suffered by her hand. I know about Beth. I know the dark parts of you, and I also know the goodness. I know your heart.I knowyou.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” he says, standing abruptly. “I can’t feel something that isn’t there.” He strides towards the stairs. I get up and run after him, grabbing his arm. He whirls around to face me and I meet his angry gaze withdetermination.
“You can push me away, you can cut me off, but I won’t be going anywhere, Hudson. One way or the other I will remain in your life because of my relationship with Bryce and Max. I’m in love with them too and their happiness is just as important to me as yours.” I point to Bryce and Max, who are watching us in horrified fascination. “Right now, the only two people in the whole world you love the most are those two men sitting there. That love you feel, I feel it too. I adore them, and I will never stop. I’mnotleaving.”
He pulls his arm free and looks at his brothers. “I won’t stop you from being together, but that’s the only promise I can make. Stay, but keep away from me and I shall do the same,” he saysheavily.
“That’s all I can ask…”It’s a start,Ithink.
He nods his head sharply, then walks upstairs without a backward glance.