But Ican’tthink it through. My world is falling apart around me, crumbling into dust, and all I can think is that Alana is getting what she wants—Ian, and the life they built without me, everything she dreamed of. And who knows?Maybe she fucking deserves it after what she went through. After fighting for me for so long.
But that doesn’t change how much it hurts to see the man I love tell me that he can’t love me through this. That he can’t be with me if things didn’t turn out just how we hoped, even if that’s not what he said only a few moments ago.
Kam is still crying as he stands from his chair, tears dripping down his cheeks. “The baby isn’t even born yet, Megan, and you know if you were to choose me, Alana would make our lives hell.”
“No—” I grasp at straws, trying to make him understand, to believe. “We’re trying to all communicate, to work together—”
It’s not the whole truth, but I can make it so. I’ll fight for us. I’ll do whatever I need to in order to not lose Kam.
“I don’twantto work with her. Or the other one. I wantyou, Megan. Just you?” Kam shakes his head ruefully, his voice still clogged with emotion. “So many women in the world would die to have a man devoted to only them, and you’re begging me to accept two others.
I’m struggling to breathe. He thinks that’s what I want, to share him? “That isn’t what I want, Kam!” I plead, fighting through tears. “It’s just the only chance we have!” I grab his hand, but he doesn’t hold it in his the way he used to. He doesn’t bring it to his mouth and kiss it. It just lays there like a dead fish.
“I-I can’t do it. Alana would never let us live in peace. We could never be happy.”
I feel like I’m floating. The only thing tethering me to my body are tears and a heaviness I’ve never felt before as the realization that the man I’m so hopelessly in love with can’t love me, that he won’t.
“Kam—” I whisper, but he shakes his head and stands.
“All the shit that’s been going on in my head isn’t like me, Megan,” he whispers. “I need to get away from —from all ofthis—from you, not you butthem. I can’t be this person, but that’s who all of this is turning me into.”
He stands there in front of me; his expression is raw. “I love you, Megan,” Kam whispers, his voice full of emotion that I can’t help but believe. “I’ve never loved anybody else like this before. Walking away from you is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do. But it has to be done.”
Slowly, he bends down, kissing the top of my head softly as I start to sob—huge, wracking, gulping sobs that feel as if they might tear me apart. “I’m so sorry for everything I put you through,” Kam whispers. “Goodbye, Megan.”
It’s over. It’s all over. I feel my world crumbling around me as if the entire room is falling to pieces. In reality, I’m sitting here frozen as I sob, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. I can’t breathe!
There’s nothing left for me, and I know it. As Kam walks out of the door, shutting it behind him without a single glance back, I know it’s done.
There’s only one thing left to do.
“Alana,” I whisper her name through my tears, wanting nothing more than for the pain to stop, to not have to live this waking nightmare any longer.
“You can come out now.”