41
Megan
I’ve stayed in the shadows for days. I wanted Alana to have her time—okay, that’s not entirely true. I knew sheneededher time. After protecting me in Cancun, she wasn’t going to just easily slip back into the shadows, not when the possibility of talking to Ian was there. And once they’d reconciled—
I hadn’t wanted to be present for that. I hadn’t wanted to feel the electric current of passion between them, remembering how Kam and I used to have that and how close we are to losing it forever. I know he did something wrong, taking me away like that—but a part of it was my fault, too. I drove him to it with my indecision, split personalities, and the madness that is living with what goes on inside my brain. He had to get me alone—and no matter how hard I try, I can’t blame him the way Alana and Veronica do.
I know what Alana wants. But I gave her her time with Ian in the hope that today the results will say that the baby is Kam’s—and then we’ll move forward together. We’ll find a way to make all of this possible. I can’t fathom the idea that if the babyisKam’s, that he shouldn’t be the one that I’m with. He was my first love, my first everything, and no matter what Alana says, what she experienced when she was in control, that still matters to me. That wasmyexperience, and I have to see it through to the end.
I want the man I hope is my baby's father there when I find out the results, and I’ve held out for that. Now, the day has finally come, and I’m terrified.
We’re meeting in the sales office of one of the properties Cal owns, at his insistence. I don’t believe Kam would make the same mistake of kidnapping me twice, but that was the stipulation of him being allowed to be here at all—that it would be in a neutral place and that Cal and Dexter would be there.
Both of them are outside the office, sitting on the couch across the aisle like sentries, and I’m pacing the floor so hard I think I might wear a hole in it as I wait for Kam to arrive. I’m incredibly nervous—not just because of what’s riding on today, but because of how on edge Cal has been this entire morning. It’s clear he’s still righteously pissed at Kam for the stunt he pulled, and while it’s hard to argue with that exactly—I’m worried about how he might react when Kam arrives.
I nearly jump out of my skin when the door clicks open, and I whirl to see that it’s Kam standing there. He looks rougher than I remember, his eyes tired with bags under them, like he hasn’t slept in days. The sight of him like that breaks my heart, my chest aching at the sight of him, and I take a tentative step towards the man I love, my pulse beating in my throat. I want to be held by him so badly that it hurts, my entire body yearning for him, and seeing the misery on his face makes me want to burst into tears.
Hesitantly, he closes the distance between us, but he doesn’t touch me. That hurts, too, especially after days of trying not to be aware of all the touching that Alana and Ian have been doing—not just passionate sex, but comforting touches, too, reassuring ones. I want Kam to touch me, hold me, reassure me—but he stands there with his hands hanging at his sides, looking down at me like a kicked dog.
“I’m so sorry,” I breathe, squeezing my own hands into fists, so I don’t touch him either. If he pushes me away right now, I don’t think I could bear it. “I’m so sorry I pushed you to do something like that—”
Kam shakes his head, stopping me as I speak. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Megan,” he says firmly. “Something in my head snapped, and I—I was so convinced I was doing the right thing. The best thing for both of us, foryou. But I was wrong.” He lets out a long breath. “In the end, Megan—I’m still going to be here, if that’s what you want. Regardless of the results, everything will be okay.” He finally takes my hands as he says that, holding them in his as he meets my eyes, and I see a flicker of hope there—hear it in his voice.
Something inside of me leaps with happiness.He believes it’ll be okay.We’llbe okay. We can forgive each other, and it’ll all be just how it should be, how it used to be—
I take a deep breath as we both sit, facing each other, knees touching as I reach for the sealed envelope sitting between us. What’s in there could change everything—but I believe him when he says we’ll get through it, no matter what. I’ve loved him for so long, and I can’t stop now.”
Slowly, I slide my finger under the flap. I pull out the sheet of paper and flatten it on the table, carefully not looking at the results until we can both see.
DNA 100% match—
I suck in my breath at the same moment Kam does, as we see the name printed there.
The baby is Ian’s.
Without so much as a flicker of doubt.
I’m afraid to look at Kam’s face, but I can’t help noticing the way he deflates beside me, his shoulders sagging as he slumps back into the chair. If it had been the other way, I would have said it was from relief, but of course, I know now it’s not. It’s hurt, disappointment, pain, grief—all things that I’d hoped neither of us would feel today, but we can’t change what’s written there.
That’s the truth, in black and white.
It feels like I’ve been hit in the gut with a bat.
When I can finally bring myself to look at Kam, he’s still staring at the paper as if seeing it for the first time, tears streaming down his face, his lips pressed tightly together. It’s as if he thinks if he stares at it long enough, it might change, but of course, it won’t.
“Kam?” I whisper his name, reaching out to touch his arm, but he flinches away from me, recoiling and sinking back in his chair, his eyes so pained that it hurt to look at.
I feel my heart crack, cleanly down the center, fissuring in every direction. The pain takes my breath away, a real, physical pain, even though the blow is emotional.
“I’m sorry, Megan,” He says, his voice strained, andI feel myself trembling.
“It’s not your fault, Kam. This isn’t anyone's fault. It will be okay,” I tell him, sounding more hopeful than I am. This changes things so fucking much. Alana will fight me every second now, but if she wants a fight, she’ll get one.
Kam meets my eyes slowly, raising his gaze to mine. “I-I can’t do it, Megan.”
I can’t breathe, and my mouth is so dry that I can’t swallow. I feel like I’m going to collapse in on myself as his words process, my body starting to tremble as I look at him. “What?” I whisper, and vaguely, I hear Veronica’s voice in my head.
It’s okay, Megan. You’ll be okay. It’s for the best.