Helen gives me a small smile. “Alana, Stockholm is when the victim develops positive feelings for their abductor or abuserafterbeing taken or at the beginning of the abuse. Megan was already in love with Kameron for a long time before any of this happened. That’s something you need to come to terms with, too, for the three of you to exist in harmony. Right now, Megan is just holding onto hope that something can salvage her first love.”
“Kameron wasn’t the first—”
“He washerfirst,” Helen corrects gently. “You had an entire relationship and the beginnings of a marriage with Ian that Megan wasn’t privy to. When she came back to herself, she truly thought Kameron was her first love—her first everything. This is difficult for her to come to terms with. And if the baby is his—”
“It won’t be,” I say sharply, but a pang shoots through me at the thought. I don’t really know. Idon't know—I won’t until the results come back. Helen’s voice calmly speaking that possibility makes me feel faintly sick.
“It could be,” Helen reminds me. “You need to prepare yourself for that possibility, Alana. But more importantly than that, I think your reaction to all of this means that deep down, you’re just worried for Megan. You’re worried for her happiness, too.”
“It’s the same as it’s always been,” I say bluntly, looking at her. “I’m just trying to look out for her, and she makes it so fucking hard. She has her own naïve ideas about things—” I shake my head. “She’s so innocent. She needs to grow the fuck up—and I guess I’ve been preventing that in a way, shielding her so much. But I wanted my own life, too.”
“That’s perfectly understandable,” Helen says gently.
“I wanted to protect her.” My voice is very quiet then. “I didn’t want her to have to endure so much—and I knew I was stronger.”
The office is so quiet that I could have heard a pin drop. If not for that silence, I might not have heard the tiny voice in my head—a voice that I know isn’t Veronica’s. It’s shy and small, nothing like Veronica’s even, prim tone.
It’s Megan’s voice.
Thank you,she whispers in my head.Thank you for always being there to look out for me.
“Whatever,” I mutter under my breath, low enough that Helen can’t hear. “It doesn’t matter if you’re still going to be stupid. It’ll all be for nothing.”
“How do you feel about getting the results tomorrow?” Helen asks gently, and I swallow hard, biting my lip as Megan’s voice recedes into the background.
“I’m nervous,” I admit. “But Ian has been helping keep me calm, reassuring me—and I think at this point, I’m just ready to know. I want to find out, one way or another, so we can all move forward. Ian’s right; we can’t live with that uncertainty hanging over our heads—any of us.”
“Where is Kameron meeting you?”
“One of Cal’s properties. We’ll open the results there—Cal and Dexter will be nearby, so I’ll be safe.” I sniff, forcing myself not to cry. Megan will see the results first, and Kameron. It doesn’t really feel fair that they’re going to be the first to know. Still, I cling to the hope that in the end, it won’t matter, that it’ll be Ian’s baby, and this will just be the final nail in the coffin that sends Kam away forever.
“Whatever happens, Alana, you can handle it,” Helen tells me confidently. “You’ve come this far. I know you’ll make it through.Allof you.”
I just hope she’s right, and all this hard work won’t have been for nothing.
I know tomorrow could be an explosion.