I suck in deep breaths trying to calm down, but that doesn’t work like it’s supposed to.
“Veronica,” I groan.
“You have my wife’s body, and the person you want me to allow you to have sex with is my cousin. Mycousin,Veronica. Fuck that; he’s my brother. How the fuck do you expect me to get over it? Every time I look at him, I’m going to think about it.”
“Well,” she sniffles, wiping her tears away with the butt of her palm. “I think I might have a solution to that.”
“How could you have possibly found a solution to that problem?”
“Dr. Lyce. She specializes in hypnosis,” Veronica explains. “She said if you agreed to this, she’d wipe the knowledge of it from your memory.”
I’m fucking stunned. The very fact that that’s even a possibility freaks me out. How the fuck can you erase a memory? The idea of having any memory, especially an important one like that, taken away is disturbing.
“She can do that?” I ask in disbelief.
Veronica nods. “The only way she said she’d do it is if you came and gave written consent to it beforehand.”
I slap my forehead. What the fuck! I don’t want someone in my head like that.
Knowing Megan was laid up with Kam was bad enough, but Blue’s my fucking cousin. I don’t want Blue thinking about what she’s like in bed every time he sees her. And the fact that I’d be ignorant to that makes my gut twist more, but seeing her face, how on edge she is waiting for my answer. It’s really up to me?
Her eyes plead to me in a way that Alana or Megan’s never done. It’s squeezing my fucking heart. The glint of hope in her eyes, the fear of my denial, is making it hard to breathe. I spot a bench and fall onto it, resting my head in my hands. I feel her sit beside me. I have a million fucking thoughts going through my head, and they’re battling it out like it’s a war.
“Ian?”Veronica’s hand lightly rests on my shoulder, and I blink coming out of my head. “Please.”
We sit in silence for I’m not sure how long, and I don’t even know what I’m about to say when my mouth opens.
“Once!” I force out, and the sorrow dimming her eyes is brightened with elation, and it kicks me in the lung, but the anxiety filling my chest starts to leave. “But I’m not about to let Dr. Lyce erase my memory. She’s erasing his.” She sucks in a sharp breath at my demand, and I continue before she says anything. “You want me to go through with this, here are my conditions; he can’t remember.Anyof it.”
Her elation dissipates.“But, Ian, that doesn’t seem fair,” she says, her voice trembling as she speaks.
“This is as fair as it’s going to get, and it’s the only way you’re going to get what you want. This isn’t for him. This is about your experience, right?” She bobs her head slowly, staring up at me, borderline angry. “And that’s all I can care about. I don’t give a fuck if Blue remembers. If you want me to agree, those are my terms.”
It takes her a second before her shoulders drop, and she nods.
“Okay then. Deal. I’ll run it past Blue.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll relay the information.” I throw my head back and rub my face with my hands, annoyed and disgusted at what I just agreed to. “I need a fucking drink. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your car.”
A silent ten-minute walk puts us back at her car. I shut the door behind her before she cranks up and tanks off. As soon as she’s out of sight, I pull my phone out and call my idiot ass cousin.