“What is it?” I ask her hesitantly, seeing tears fill her eyes, but she wipes them away quickly.
“There’s one thing,” she says, steeling herself.
“What…” I ask hesitantly. It’s strange seeing Veronica show emotions, and I’m wondering why she’s sharing them with me instead of Blue, but I am grateful it’s me she’s here with.
“Alright. Okay. Here it is: I- I want. I want one night with Blue.”
What the fuck!
“WHAT!” I shout, and every head within a couple feet of us turns in our direction. Instantly, my anger soars, and I rear back as if she just punched me straight in the face. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “The fuck, Veronica!” I finish under my breath.
I had to have heard her wrong.
“Ian, please,” she says tightly, looking around us as if she’s embarrassed. She’s embarrassed. Is she saying what I think she’s saying?
“A night, what kind of night?” I say, trying to calm myself down. Maybe she’s not asking for what I think she’s asking because there’s no way I just heard her say she wants to have sex with Blue. Fucking Blue! But her words are ricocheting off the walls of my mind, and there’s no way I could have made that up or misheard her that bad. I couldn’t have heard her wrong.
“A romantic night,” she says sheepishly, and I’m going to throw up.
“This is why you called me- so you can get my blessing to fuck my cousin?!”
“It’s not just about that,” she screeches, her eyes pleading, and I can’t even look at her.
“I love him,” she says desperately, and I’m in a bizarro world. Hearing the voice similar to the one I love, in love with, possibly carrying my child, tell me she loves my fucking cousin.
“You don’t even know him!” I counter back.
“If I had the opportunity, it could be even more than that, but we won’t because I’ve chosen not to pursue it. We both have,” she says, her voice calmer, but there’s still a hint of desperation there.
I shake my head,still unable to grasp the absurdity of this entire situation.
“I’ve been sick worrying my ass off, wondering where it was Kam hauled you off to, and thevery first thingyou come to me with is wanting to get in bed with my family. That’s weird as shit, Veronica, and beyond fucked up.”
I’m shaking now, and I can’t stand still, or I’m going to completely lose it, so I turn and walk down the shore. She comes up beside me, and I shove my hands in my pockets, keeping my gaze fixed ahead of me.
“Just once,” she says, desperate now, her voice quivering.”
As if that’s supposed to smooth over my wife fucking my cousin.
Then I stop in my tracks as something occurs to me, and I spin around. She almost crashes right into me but manages to stop herself in time.
“Does Blue know you’re coming to me with this?”
She looks me straight in my eyes, and the answer lands on her face before she nods twice, and a different kind of rage bubbles alive inside of me. It was a fucking gut punch coming from Veronica. But knowing Blue’s aware of this shit, that he spoke with her about something like this and didn’t tell me is like being kicked in the dick with a steel-toed boot by him.
“I’m gonna kick his ass,” I sneer, turning back around. “Nope. I’m gonna kill him.”
But she latches on to my arm and pulls me back.
“This wasn’t his idea,” she tells me. “He was against it, but I convinced him and said he’d only go through with it if he got everyone's approval.”
“That doesn’t make it better!” I say between clenched teeth.
“Ian, please,” she begs. I’m getting ready to cut her off, but her eyes watering stop me. “It’s only one time, and after that, it’s over. I just want- I want to feel loved. Megan’s had it; you gave it to Alana. I’m not trying to fight to have it like they are. I’m asking for you to allow me to have it, just one time.”
At the sight of her tears, my rage somewhat subsidies but not my disgust.
I have to suppress my gag reflex. I can’t even think about it!