35
Ian
I lookout at the horizon where the sky and sea kiss, trying to find some sort of comfort in it, but I come up empty. It’s fucking beautiful out here, and my camera hangs from my neck, but I haven’t taken a single picture. I’ve been standing in the same spot, just beyond where the water rushes onto the shore, all my thoughts on Alana.
She’s been back for about three days now, and all I want is to hear her voice. I know she’s okay, but I need tohearit myself. I’ve been thinking about calling Cal to see how she’s doing, but I know she needs her space after the shit she just went through. I don’t want to overwhelm her, but God, I miss her. I need to see her. I have to.
My phone starts ringing in my pocket, and when I dig it out, I don’t recognize the number on the screen, so I ignore the call and shove it back into my pocket. I decide to finally put my camera to use since I brought it out here. I should at least try to get a few good shots, and maybe focusing my mind on capturing the perfect image will help.
But then my phone rings again, and it’s the same number. I stare at it, wondering if I should answer it, and I decide not to, and then I give in. What if it’s her.
“Hello, Ian.”Her voice instantly dissolves every bit of tension that’s been living inside of me for the past two weeks. I let out a heavy sigh, and the weight that’s been on my chest goes with it. It’s not the her I want, but I’ll take it.
“Veronica- how- how are you?”
“I’m good,” she tells me. “I know you’ve been worried, but I’m fine. We’re fine. Where are you right now? I hear a lot of wind.”
“Yeah- I’m at the beach. I came out here to take some photos, but I haven’t taken any so far. I haven’t been able to concentrate at all.”
“Can I join you out there while you shoot?”
My heart leaps in my chest at her request, and I stand just a bit straighter; every cell in my body is already anticipating seeing her.
“Yeah, absolutely,” I say immediately, and I don’t care how eager I sound. “But I can come to meet you if you prefer. Just let me know where you are, and I’ll be there.”
“No, that's fine. I want to come down to the beach. I have something to discuss with you, and the beach is a nice place to do it.”
After I tell her which beach I’m on and where I’m parked, she tells me she’ll see me in thirty minutes, but I walk back towards the stairs and climb up to wait on her anyway.
Thirty minutes later, she pulls up in a silver Mercedes, a newer model. I sometimes forget that her family is filthy fucking rich. I only remember in instances like this when I can see it with my own eyes.
Before she gets out of the car, I’m already heading over to where she’s parked. She gives me a wary smile through the window before she gets out, and when she’s finally standing in front of me, I pull her into me. I’ve been dying to do this for so long now, and the fact that she’s right here is surreal. I’m scared I might wake up and this will all just be a dream. It’s happened so many other times before, and still, I haven’t gotten used to it.
She doesn’t hug me back. In fact, her arms stay by her side, and her shoulders are tense, but I don't want to let her go. With me, I know she’s safe no matter who she is, and as long as she’s next to me, my mind’s at peace and everything is right in the world.
“It’s impossible to describe how worried I’ve been for you,” I sigh out, wishing I could get closer to her.
“Alana’s going to be okay,” she reassures me. “We started therapy yesterday. She wants to see you, but there are some things she wants to work through first.”
Her words cut through my fucking chest. I’m glad Veronica’s here; it could’ve been Megan, but Alana, my girl, the fact she’s here in some capacity but hasn’t been here, the fact that she’s not the one who wants to see me right now hurts so fucking bad. Still, it’s not about me right now. My eyes drift down to Veronica’s stomach. She’s gotten so much bigger since I’ve seen her. I remind myself to pull it together.
“I’m glad that she’s okay. That all of you are okay.” I say, clearing my throat.
Her shoulders relax, and slowly, her arms come up and wrap around my waist, it’s the first time Veronica has ever shown me affection, and it brings tears to my eyes. I’m not sure how long we’re standing here like this, but when I pull away, I look down at her, unable to stop the smile that forms as I take her in. The wide pale blue eyes are there instead of the grey ones I fell in love with, or the green ones that I grew used to, stand out against her long dark hair. Her slender face has puffed out a bit, but it only makes her that much cuter with her round cheeks. As we begin our walk down to the beach, I notice how her walk has changed in the time since I’ve seen her, if it’s lulling the little baby inside of her.
I help her down the stairs leading down to the beach, giving her something other than the splintering handrail to hold on to. Once we’re on the ground, I give her my hand to help stabilize her as we walk through loose sand until we get closer to the water, where it's much easier for her to walk on. I might be overly cautious, but she doesn’t seem to mind it.
We stroll along the water. I have so many questions for her, mainly about what happened in Cancun, but I know I should let her bring it up in her time. I’m just so fucking grateful she’s here, but I can’t help but notice that she’s nervous about something. Her bottom lip is sucked between her teeth as she chews at it, and her eyebrows are almost touching. I feel a wave of nausea begin to spread through me. I know Veronica the least of the girls, but she’s always been calm and level-headed, so her visible nervousness, coupled with the fact she’s the one who's here to talk, makes me feel sick. “What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” I ask her after a moment of contemplating whether or not I should question her about it.
After a few rounds of deep breaths, she says, “Okay. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m going to get right into it.” She stops in her tracks and turns to me, tilting her head back to look up at my face. “You’ve been through so much, Ian. You and Alana both. I know,” she says, her eyes on mine and her expression gentle in a way that reminds me of a mother. Hell, she’s about to be a mother. When she puts her hand on my shoulder, I almost feel myself break down, but I steel myself.
“You and Alana deserve to be happy. You make her a better person, and I know that you could accept all of us if it came to that. And I also believe even if this child isn’t yours that you’d truly love it.” She looks at me for confirmation, and I feel tears in my eyes, and I only nod and clear my throat.
“None of this has been fair for you. Alana didn’t tell you the truth, Megan betrayed your trust, and I never really gave you a chance.” She continues, and I feel my heart speeding up.
“But that’s changing. We haven’t exactly gotten Megan on the same page, but I think you’re the best person for us. You made Alana fall in love with you, and I never thought that’d happen.” she says with a sad laugh towards the end. I feel myself smiling even though my eyes are watering. I feel like such a little bitch, but I’m a happy little bitch.
“So you won’t have any interference from me when we get all of this worked out.” She tells me with a smile, but it’s sad.