36
Blue
This shit’s killing me.My stomach is in knots, waiting for her to get here. She’s been gone for about an hour now, pleading our case to Ian. It feels odd waiting on her to report back. It’s usually me who they reach out to for favors or to go handle something they need taken care of. Being on the opposite end of it doesn’t feel right at all. The longer I sit here, the more I regret not going with her.
I pick up the cold cup of diner coffee I’ve been babysitting and take a sip of the weak brew the waitress brought back; it’s just like drinking brown water.
I ignore the collective chatter of the patrons in this small diner, too caught up with the answer Veronica’s going to come back with. At least if Ian says yes, he’ll hate me, and it’ll be worth it. If he says no, he’s going to hold a grudge for years. He’s a master at holding shit against people. Which, in this case, I can understand. This situation is so fucked up, but it’s the one we have.
My phone vibrates on the table, and I snatch it up, ready to answer Veronica’s call, but my movements stop, and my thumb hovers above the phone screen as I stare at Ian’s contact photo.
I should have expected him to call.
I swipe the screen up, not wanting to stall any further, an explanation already on its way out.
“So you’re too much of a coward to talk to me about this shit yourself?” Ian starts before I can even answer him.
“Look, bro-”
“Don’t call me that shit right now,” he interrupts, his tone low and full of venom.
“Ian,this was Veronica’s request, not mine. She came to me with this, and if I were the one that talked to you about it, you would have never heard me out.”
“Because I would’ve been too busy tossing your ass around to hear anything besides the first sentence! You should have shut that shit down, man!” He’s close to yelling already, and if he were here, he definitely would have swung on me by now.
“I tried to,” I defend myself. “But she wants to do this, Ian.”
“Don’t say it like that!” he groans. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Ian, I know this is shitty, trust me, I fucking know it, but you understand her, right?” I already know nothing I say is going to make this better, but I keep going anyway. “It’d be one time, and she’s not Alana…well, it’s her, but it’s not”
“Shut the fuck up!” He shouts, and I do. I'm grateful for the fact that he’s calling me instead of here punching me in the face.
“One time is too much, Blue, and why the fuck would I want to think about her being happy fucking another guy, my fucking cousin at that!?”
“It’s not about that for her.” I counter back.
“That makes it worse!” he screeches and hearing the pain in his voice makes me feel even worse than I did earlier. The silence is loud between us, each of us trying to grasp the gravity of this mess.
“At the end of the day, you get Alana. You and Alana could have a forever. Veronica just wants a day.”
“Fuck.” He shouts again.
“Whatever feelings you have for her, you better get that shit out of your system with this date, Blue. If I have to deal with this shit again, I swear to God I’m gonna smash your teeth in.
“Look, this is how this fuckery is gonna go,” he goes on. “I don’t want to know when or where it’s going to happen. Just make sure it happensafterthe baby comes.”
He’s agreeing.
Holy fucking shit, he’s saying yes.
Veronica is a magician. I’m so floored that I don’t realize how hard I’m smiling until my cheeks begin to hurt.
“But.”
The but brings me back to reality. Still, there’s nothing he can say that can ruin the elation beginning to course through me.
“I’m not having some shrink play in my head. I wantyouto forget it after. All of it..”