Ryley places her hands on my cheeks, keeping my eyes focused on her. “I love you, Archer. And if you love me, you’ll give me what I’m asking. I need to talk to Nate without your interference. He has that right, just as I gave it to you.”
I nod, knowing she’s right. Leaning forward, I place a kiss on her forehead and hold my lips there as long as I can. When I pull away I hear her sniffle. I hate that she’s crying. I don’t want to cause her tears, but my fear is if I give her what she’s asking for, I’m going to lose.
“I’ll be at River’s,” I say as I walk away.
I choose to sit on the steps of River’s house instead of knocking. I shouldn’t have come here, but he was the obvious choice. Three of us returned to find different lives and each of us have to find a way to deal with what’s happened. Tucker McCoy can’t find his wife and daughter. Justin Rask’s parents want nothing to do with him. Then there’s my situation with Ryley and Nate. River, whose wife welcomed him home with open arms as if nothing happened, is the only one who isn’t submerged in drama.
Coming here was wrong. He’s not going to understand. As far as he’s concerned everything is perfect. His wife was waiting for him, holding vigil until he returned. She, unlike the rest of our families, held out hope her husband was alive. Why her and not Ryley? If anything, I would’ve expected Ryley to question everything. Maybe she did, but didn’t get anywhere. She wasn’t my wife so her hands were tied. Fact of the matter is that if she’s not legally a spouse, she has no rights as far as the military is concerned.
The door opens before I can make my decision to leave. The heavy footfalls tell me it’s River. He sits down next to me and hands me a beer. I’ve been out in the sun all day; I’m over-emotional and tired and a beer is the last thing I need, but it feels damn good going down the back of my throat.
“Want to talk about it?”
I shake my head and take another drink from the bottle, downing most of it. My fingers glide over the imprinted label. No longer paper, but melted into the glass.
“When did they change the bottles?”
He shrugs. He doesn’t know any more than I do. We’ve lost six years and the people who were tasked with protecting us did such a stand up job that they forgot to tell us we’re all dead or, at the very least, fill us in on everything we missed - like beer bottles with no paper labels. I suppose the bogus letters we received from home should’ve been enough to keep us in the loop but they weren’t.
“Nate’s back and she asked me to leave so she could talk to him.”
River is silent next to me. Only the birds, traffic and planes flying overhead curb the dullness between us. When I’m with Ryley, I can open up. I can tell her how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking. But sitting here with River, opening up is the last thing I want to do. He’s not going to understand because he has his wife. He came home to everything that he left behind and the only thing he lost was time.
“You knew he was bound to return.”
“Deep down I was hoping he’d be gone for six years so I could undo everything that’s been done.” I tap my beer bottle against the brick step, listening to the clank it makes with each hit. “They have a connection. It’s there; I saw it. He loves her, he always has, and I’m afraid I may be too late. I’m not sure if what we have… had... will be enough to break through what they share.”
“Your death brought them together?”
I nod. “Yep, as much as I don’t want to admit it, they bonded over someone they lost, then EJ arrived and he was the link that kept them together. I think that if EJ hadn’t been born, Nate wouldn’t have hung around, but he was doing what I asked of him... he was taking care of my family. He just took it a step too far.”
Once again, only the outdoor noises keep the awkward silences at bay. We’re just two guys sitting on a stoop. From an outsider’s point of view, we’re just hanging out. Only he knows that I’ve been asked to leave my girl alone with the one man who stands between us.
As I sit here with him I can’t help but want to ask him something that’s been plaguing my mind since we came back. I hesitate, though, because if I ask him what I’m thinking it could put a serious dent in our relationship and I don’t want that to happen. I’ve already lost enough.
I breathe in and exhale loudly in frustration causing him to look at me. “What’s up?” he asks with a knowing expression on his face.
Scratching the back of my head, I realize it’s now or never. I look over my shoulder at his house before looking at him. “Have you asked yourself why Frannie was waiting for you? I mean, look at us – we were dead to them. Rask’s parents won’t talk to him. McCoy’s wife and daughter are long gone. Ryley’s moved on. You’re the only one who came home to everything as normal as it was when we left.”
River’s forehead wrinkles, but he doesn’t try to strangle me so I count this as a win in my book. He looks over his shoulder, staring at his house before turning back and setting his bottle down.
“I’ve asked myself that every day. I’ve tried to talk to Frannie about it, asking her why she didn’t move on, and all she says is that she couldn’t. She just knew I was alive.”
Those are words I’d love to hear from Ryley, and even Nate. Knowing that one of them thought I was alive and that they never gave up on me would be worth this bullshit I’m dealing with now.
LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE. LIFE is messy. Life throws you curve balls when you’re expecting a slider. My brother is back from the dead... or undead, not dead, however it needs to be spun. The simple truth is that he’s alive. No, there’s nothing simple about the truth because we don’t actually know what that truth is. How can someone you buried years ago suddenly be alive? Not just him either, but a four man crew. Each and every one of them gone¸ with families that have moved on, only to find their loved one is, in fact, alive and well.
For a brief moment I thought that Evan was a prisoner of war, but that’s not the case. He’s been fed, taken care of, and even groomed – POW’s don’t have those liberties. There would’ve been a ransom or some kind of demand. I would’ve hunted for him until I brought him home. I would’ve gone to the ends of earth and back until he was safe with me.
Evan and I need to talk.
Brother to brother.
Warrior to warrior.
Whether he wants to or not.