He didn’t look impressed. “So you’ve said. For the last five minutes.”
“Then maybe I should repeat myself again, because you don’t seem to be doing anything about it. No. Randall. No.”
“No offense,” Ryan said, “but I’m kind of with Sam on this one.”
“Thank you, Ryan.”
“Only because Sam agreed to marry him before I kicked him in the face and we escaped,” Gary whispered.
“This is true,” Ryan agreed.
“Dammit!”
The six-inch naked man with wings fluttering before us stroked his pencil-thin mustache. “I’m not yet convinced that Sam still doesn’t want to get all up on this,” the king of the Dark Woods fairies said, eyeing me up and down. Which, since he had tiny eyes, took a lot longer than one might expect.
“I don’t,” I assured Dimitri. “I don’t want to get all up on that.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Sam. I didn’t say anything when I was leading you out of the Dark Woods because I knew how exhausted you were, but I’ve got to say, magic looks good on you.”
“Thank you.”
“And so would my face.”
“Fuck you.”
“What do you mean when he led you out of the woods?” Ryan asked.
I waved my hand dismissively. “Dimitri found Kevin and me when we were on our way back from our Dark Woods adventure.”
“You didn’t say anything about that before.”
“It was our little secret,” Dimitri said. “Sam and I have those, you know.”
The rest of his fairy court hummed appreciatively behind him. I saw the fairy Harry who had tried to gay-fairy-marry Dimitri and me, and waved.
He didn’t wave back. Probably still upset about the whole kicking him in the face thing too.
“What other secrets do you have with Dimitri?” Ryan demanded. “Did he touch you? Show me where he touched you!”
“Dude, chill. He didn’t touch me. This time.”
“What are you all doing out here—oh. Oh no.”
We turned to see Justin standing near the gate, staring directly at Dimitri.
“My Prince,” Dimitri all but purred. “How lovely it is to see you again. Come to discuss more… diplomatic relations?”
“Wow,” Kevin said. “That sounded dirty. How does he do that?”
“Kevin, dear,” Gary said as he pranced to the dragon.
“Yes, my love?”
“I noticed that you are paying more attention to a tiny fairy man when I have my horn back and you have yet to compliment me about it. That’s… unfortunate. For you.”
“I did earlier!”
Gary narrowed his eyes. “And I believe we discussed that you would offer me a compliment every hour until I deemed otherwise, and then I would give you the one muffin you’ve never gotten to have.”