My heart beats fast and hard in my chest, anger pumping through my veins. How could someone do such a horrible thing to an innocent baby? And to Noah. I can’t imagine what that was like.
“I was granted full custody of Nova. Kim tried to fight me, and when she realized I wasn’t going to back down, she switched tactics. She tried to tell me she was sober and wanted to be a part of our lives, but by then I was done. I couldn’t forgive her for what she’d done to our little girl.” Noah’s voice cracks, along with a piece of my heart.
“What happened then?”
“Kim overdosed on Nova’s first birthday.”
The devastation in his words pulls me from my place on the couch and into his arms. I wrap myself around him, offering what little comfort I can.
“I’m so sorry,” I say over and over.
“It’s okay. Nova’s happy and healthy, and that’s all that matters. She’s all that matters.”
His words slam into me with such force that I’m thankful I’m holding on to him. I’m also thankful my face is buried in his shoulder and he can’t see the way his words lance through me, because no matter how silly it sounds, I would like to matter too.
“My life isn’t just my life anymore. It’s her life. And I have to be careful about who I let into her life because she’s already been through so much. I don’t want her to know the pain of losing anyone else.”
“I get it,” I whisper, my lips brushing against his neck. “You don’t have to explain.”
I tighten my arms around Lennon. The feel of her body against mine is enough to knock down whatever walls were still standing around my heart. I’ve only ever talked about Kim with my parents and Mikey. But I’m glad Lennon knows. It feels right.
She feels rights.
And she might think I didn’t notice her tensing up in my arms a few seconds ago, and she might say that she gets it, but I don’t see how she possibly could.
“I haven’t dated much because of Nova.”
Lennon pulls back, avoiding my gaze. My fingers curl beneath her chin, lifting her sad eyes to mine.
“I would like for that to change.”
“What?” Her brows knit, and I lean in, kissing the bunched skin to smooth it out.
“I said I would like for that to change.”
“No, I heard you. I’m just not sure I understand what you’re saying. You were very clear about not adulting the other day.”
Gripping Lennon’s hand, I open myself, allowing her to see every part of me.
Threading my fingers through her hair at the base of her neck, I hold her surprised stare. I find hope and anticipation, and it causes my heart to slam against the walls of my chest with pleasure.
“I’m not talking about just adulting. This is different. I’d like to take you out on a date.”
Her answering smile is blinding, lighting up a part of my world that has been dark for far too long. And then things get even better because she pushes her hands up my chest, wraps her arms around my neck, and pulls me to her.
“If I say yes, does that I mean I can kiss you?”
Instead of answering, I plant my lips right on hers. She kisses me back slowly, and when I suck on her bottom lip, she lets out a soft moan. We lose ourselves in the moment, mouths searching, hands exploring, and when my cock pushes painfully against my zipper, I pull back.
It’s hard—way too fucking hard—and my body protests. So does Lennon’s. Her lips follow after mine for an instant before turning down in a pout.
“I wasn’t done,” she says.
I trace my thumb along her bottom lip. Her tongue darts out, and she licks my fingertip before sucking it into her mouth.
Fuck me. She’s going to make it impossible to remain a gentleman.
It’s not that I don’t want to fuck Lennon, because I do—very much. It’s that I don’t want her to be like every other meaningless hookup I’ve had over the years. If I’m going to do this, if I’m going to step on this scary fucking ledge, I want to do it the right way.