The smile on Noah’s face is nothing short of panty-melting. His cheeks flush, something I’m sure doesn’t happen often, and he glances down before looking back up.
“I like you,” he says. “That’s no secret.”
My eyes lock onto his cock, which is rock solid and practically throbbing through his jeans.
Noah clears his throat. “Okay, I like you a lot. And I’m sorry I pushed you away the other day. I just wasn’t prepared for your kiss to affect me the way it did.”
“And how was that?”
“I wanted more.” He draws in a ragged breath, running a hand through his hair. “I never want more, Lennon. Usually once I get a taste, I’m done.”
“Well, I’m happy to inform you I’m not your average fling.”
He smiles ruefully and nods. “Yeah, I’ve already figured that out, babe. With you, I wanted more. I wanted to keep kissing you. I felt desperate to keep kissing you. I don’t like feeling desperate.”
My heart leaps in my chest, and a smile stretches across my face. His words make me happy. Too happy.
“This isn’t funny,” he says.
I shake my head because no, it isn’t funny, but I can’t wipe the goofy smile from my face.
“I’m being serious. I want you bad, probably more than I’ve ever wanted another woman, and that’s frightening because the last time I felt this way about a woman…I ended up a single parent.”
I scoot closer to him, reaching for his hand. “Will you tell me about her?”
His eyes flick to mine, a look of worry flashing across his face.
&nbs
p; “You don’t have to, if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Noah’s eyes shut, his head leaning back on the couch. Several moments pass without a word, and right about the time I open my mouth to tell him to forget about it, he starts talking.
“Kim was my high school sweetheart. I was fifteen, and she was sixteen when we started dating. No one thought it would last because we were so young, but it did. Lasted all the way through high school and into college.”
Pausing, Noah takes a few deep breaths, his face pinched in pain. My stomach knots with nerves, wondering where this is going.
“We went to different colleges a couple of hours away from each other. I wasn’t sure if our relationship was going to survive, but it did. I think my love for her grew during that time. We each had new groups of friends, but I never cheated on her, not once. And to my knowledge, she stayed faithful as well.”
“Wow,” I breathe. “That must’ve been hard. When did you have time to see her?”
Noah looks up at me. “We drove to each other on the weekends. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked. One weekend during our junior year in college, I went to visit her, and she told me she was pregnant. I wanted to be upset, because we were too young, but I couldn’t find it in me. I was happy, despite the challenges I knew we’d face. Kim was not. She was devastated and angry. She spent that entire weekend screaming at me for ruining her life. I should’ve known something was up, because Kim wasn’t a yeller. Even when she was mad, she somehow always kept her composure.”
There are so many questions I want to ask, but none of them seem appropriate so I keep quiet.
Standing, Noah paces across the room, stopping in front of a picture of Nova. He picks it up, stares at it for a few seconds, and sets it back down.
“I didn’t see Kim for four months after that. She refused to visit me, refused to let me visit her. I drove up to her school, but she was always conveniently gone. I was desperate to see her, to know she was okay, that the baby was okay.” He sighs, shaking his head. “Honestly, I didn’t think she’d have an abortion, but with the way she was acting, I couldn’t be sure. So I skipped classes one Tuesday and drove up there. I parked outside her apartment and waited for her to come home.”
When Noah’s eyes find mine again, they’re filled with pain, sadness, and so much regret.
“She was thin, so thin, with this tiny little basketball for a belly. Her hair was stringy, and I’ll never forget the hollow look in her eyes. When she looked at me, I knew… I just knew the girl I had fallen in love with, the girl I was about to have a baby with, was gone.”
Shaking his head, Noah walks back toward me and sits down. “I didn’t find out for sure until after Nova was born that Kim had been using drugs.”
I gasp, my heart breaking. “Oh my gosh, Noah.”
“Watching Nova struggle after her birth was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to witness.”