“I know,” I replied, already dreading the empty bed I would be facing tonight. And it wouldn’t even be my own. “I’ll just have to cuddle with Lola.”
“Cuddling wasn’t what I had in mind.”
I laughed, although I couldn’t help admonishing him. “Your driver can hear everything you’re saying!” I warned. “Keep it clean.”
“I’m sure he’s heard and seen a lot worse.” Logan’s voice dropped. “Besides, I haven’t even begun to talk about how I’m going to miss that sweet pussy of yours.”
“Logan!” I screeched, half-horrified and half-laughing. “Don’t say another word.” Even though his driver couldn’t see me, and had no idea who Logan was talking to, I could feel myself blushing.
I could hear the amusement in Logan’s voice, but I could also hear the desire. “Don’t worry, I’ll save the details for tonight when I call you and tell you how I’m going to fuck you.”
Despite my embarrassment, I decided to beat him at his own game. “What time are you going to call? I just want to make sure I’ll be available to talk because I brought my vibrator with me. I’m planning on making myself come over and over again tonight, imagining it’s you between my legs. You know how wet you make me when you use your mouth on me. Then I’m going to fuck myself, imagining it’s your hard cock inside me.”
My teasing was to get a bit of revenge on Logan, but I felt myself getting aroused by my own words. I knew they’d had an effect on him as well when he spoke, because his voice had deepened and become husky.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to hold you to that, and I’m expecting to hear every single moment of it.”
It was at this inopportune time that I heard the muffled voice of his driver speaking to him.
“Maddie, we’re at the hotel. As much as I would like to continue this conversation, I have to get to the office soon for a meeting.” His voice lowered. “But I’ll call you later tonight. Be ready to tell me everything you’re going to do to yourself.”
It was disappointing to end the call with Logan, but the anticipation of talking to him again tonight made me feel better. It reminded me that Logan was devoted to me and I had no reason to worry. It put my mind enough at ease that I was able to spend the rest of the day working on my article. Before I knew it, it was dark outside, and I closed my laptop and stretched, happy with my progress for the day.
It had been nice having Lola lie by my feet as I worked, and I pondered whether I should get a dog. I nixed that idea the minute the cold air slapped my face when I took Lola out to relieve herself. I could do without having to walk a dog in crappy weather.
I made myself a sandwich for dinner when we got back inside, not wanting to bother with cooking. I spent the next few hours killing time watching TV, waiting for Logan’s call. When I hadn’t heard from him by eleven o’clock, I started getting antsy. I decided to call him, but I hung up when I got his voicemail.
I told myself that it was two hours earlier in L.A. so he could be at dinner still, since I was sure his week would be filled with work dinners. I got ready for bed and climbed in, turning off the lights, but making sure to keep my phone on the nightstand so that I would wake up if it rang. When it rang, I told myself.
Lola was a comforting presence next to me in bed and I stroked her soft head as I tried to fall asleep, but it was impossible as my mind whirred with a million different thoughts. I wished I could pop one of my sleeping pills that I had brought with me, but I didn’t want to sleep through Logan’s call.
My mind wandered to Cassie. I still thought about her all the time, but it was less guilt-ridden, and more focused on memories of happier times. I had finally been able to put to rest the conviction that I had responsible for her death. I would never know why she took her own life, but I took comfort in the fact that when she was alive, we had shared so many joys and had been each other’s rock through difficult times. Our time together had been special and I would carry the memory of our friendship with me until I met her again on the other side.
It was with these thoughts that I drifted off to sleep, Lola’s warm body snuggled next to mine.
The next thing I was conscious of was sunlight streaming through the windows. I rolled over and squinted at the alarm clock, surprised that it was already eight o’clock in the morning. I grabbed my phone, disappointed that I had obviously slept through Logan’s call. My stomach twisted when I saw that I had no missed calls from him. It was unlike him not to call when he said he would, especially when he had to have seen that I had tried to call him last night. His phone had rung for a while before going to voicemail, so his cell phone had definitely been on. A hard ball of anxiety started to form in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to call him, but I didn’t know if I could face getting his voicemail again.
I lay in bed as a thousand thoughts washed over me, none of them good. Even Lola must have sensed my anxiety, because she sighed heavily and put her head on my leg. I decided that my imagination was probably a hundred times worse than reality, and I really needed to call Logan to find out why I hadn’t heard from him. It was possible that there could have been some sort of work emergency or maybe he was jetlagged and fell asleep. A dozen excuses that I was willing to accept flitted through my head as I pressed the button to call him.
When I got his voicemail again, I wanted to throw my phone across the room in frustration. I threw back the covers and swung my feet onto the floor, startling Lola.
“Sorry, girl,” I murmured as I stroked her head. She was quickly appeased and put her head back down on the bed, apparently not ready to get up for the day. I, on the other hand, was wide awake, fueled by anger and anxiety.
I was on my third cup of coffee when my phone finally rang. I grabbed it, feeling both relieved and pissed when I saw that it was Logan. I let it ring a few times, not wanting him to think I had been waiting by the phone. I hated to play games, but all of a sudden, I was feeling vulnerable and unsure about myself when it came to him. We had been so happy together these past few months, but it was because I had almost been able to forget that Kristina existed. Now I was being forced to deal with my jealousy of her again.
“Hello?” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I knew I sounded cold instead.
“Maddie, I’m sorry that I didn’t call last night. Things here have gotten a little crazy.”
I took a deep breath before replying, trying to rein in my anger before I heard Logan out. Normally, a missed call would be an annoyance but not a big deal. But my fears about Kristina magnified all my emotions.
“What’s happening?” My tone was calm but I could hear the restrained irritation slipping through.
“One of our major clients is threatening to drop us because of reasons that are beyond our control. I don’t want
to bore you with the details, but I was up all night with the other partners trying to figure out how to appease our client, and time just got away from me. By the time I realized I hadn’t called you yet, it was too late, and I didn’t want to wake you, even though I saw your missed call. I crashed pretty hard last night and just woke up and saw I had missed another call from you. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I hope you weren’t worried.”
It was a valid excuse, but it didn’t relieve the knot in my stomach. I told myself that I was being irrational, and there was no reason to be upset with Logan. I forced myself to sound upbeat when I replied.