“When I chose Kyle, do you know what they did?” I ask.
“No. I don’t.”
“They backed the fuck off,” I spit.
I watch Joel nod his head as his gaze falls over my shoulder. I don’t like his tactics. I don’t like his words. I don’t like the point he’s trying to prove, and I certainly don’t like how he’s trying to gain the upper hand when I’ve been around these men for months. Vlad, not so much. I don’t really know Vlad. We didn’t get off on the right foot, no matter the circumstance. But I’m coming around to him. He’s working on his restraint, and he is proving himself to be an asset in planning for this war.
But for Joel to try and position himself above the others?
It would never happen.
Not with everything those men have done for me.
“I want to protect my child,” I say.
“Then let us protect you, Clarissa. We can,” Joel says.
“No, you can’t. It’s cute that you think that, but the war that’s coming isn’t your war to fight. You can try, and you will die trying. The Council is stronger than all of us combined, and that’s if you throw all of the Primals in your cottage into the mix. Slaughter is coming. Blood is going to be spilled. And most of your village won’t be standing by the time it’s all said and done. This I know for a fact. But if I’m going to make this world better for my child and ensure my child’s safety in all this—then I have to fight. I have to use the strength this child is instilling in my veins and step up. I have to make sure my child is safe because that’s what a mother does. She doesn’t cower in the face of danger, and she doesn’t bow down to forces stronger than her.”
Joel’s nostrils flare as his eyes make their way back to mine.
“She fights,” I say. “My mother fought to bring me into this world. She died giving birth to me. She was on the run for most of her life after the experiments they did on her. My father was killed in an attempt to save her, and she traded the only life she knew so she could give me life. I owe it to her strength and to my future child to be the same mother from which I came. And if you can’t understand that, then get the hell out of my way. Because I will take you down if you stand in between that Council and me.”
I turn on my heels and make my way back for the cottage. I don’t want to stick around and hear Joel’s rebuttal, because there shouldn't be one. I know I’m right. I place my hand on my stomach and begin to rub, and I swear I can feel my child tumbling around in there. My feet curl into the ground, and I feel it giving way. I feel my toes digging into the dirt even though I’m doing nothing but walking. My body is teeming with strength I’ve never felt before, and I can’t help but think this is a byproduct of being pregnant.
Is this what all Primal females experience while pregnant?
I wish I had one to talk with. I feel alone in my pregnancy. I have no idea who the father is because of my negligence, and none of the village women can sympathize with what I’m going through. The urges I’m trying to suppress around the men and the strength that is growing and becoming harder to control. Every time I walk by Sebastian his odor of metallic strength makes my nipples pucker. And every time I walk by Theo, his woody scent prickles the hairs on the back of my neck.
When I walk by Toshi, his flowery mixture sends chills down my spine. And even walking by Vlad is tough. He smells of rebellion and ecstasy and sea foam. It physically hurts to walk by him and not reach out for him. Every single one of them calls to me in some way, and keeping my distance is the only way I know how to keep myself in check.
I walk back into the cottage and find the men hovering over the table. They all whip their heads up, and I can see their nostrils flaring. My scent must be changing, and I know they’re picking up on it. Electricity starts surging through my veins. My eyes connect with each one of them, and I see them hunching over something on the table.
“What’s that?” I ask.
I try to keep the breathlessness in my voice out of the picture, but I watch Sebastian’s brows furrow.
He hears it, and I know he’ll question me later.
“Just some mockups for battle,” Toshi says. “Once they’re finalized, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Why am I not helping?” I ask.
“We figured since you’re still recuperating you’d be better off sleeping,” Theo says. “So you can be battle ready when the time comes.”
There’s something off about their words. They aren’t lying, but there’s something they’re hiding from me. My eyes connect with Vlad, and a shiver runs down my spine. His seafoam and sandy scent rushes up my nostrils, and I feel my knees weaken. I nod without another word and force myself to turn down the hallway, desperate to get into the bedroom.
I have to put barriers between us.
I have to get myself under control.
Chapter 10
Joel
Iwatch Clarissa until she steps back into the cottage. Her stubbornness is overwhelmingly annoying. She’s strong and very independent, but with that comes the automatic assumption that she’s always right. Her strength is fascinating, her abilities uncanny, but I don’t believe she isn’t fully human. She is. She’s a full-blooded human woman who calls to me in ways no woman ever has. Josie has been pestering me for years to find a woman to take at my side. To take as not only a warrior to stand next to me in battle but to also create a family with. To carry on our lineage and instill in them the wisdom and knowledge our parents passed to us.
And I found her.