Swallowing hard, I run a finger over the ring and can’t meet his eyes. “I’m worried you’ll wake up one day and resent me for not having children.”
He doesn’t let me hide. His hand comes up under my chin. “Never going to happen.” The words are firm, and his eyes are clear.
I throw myself at him and he catches me.
***
A week later, his mother is there when I come home from work. Once again I’m enveloped in a hug before I know what’s hit me. I look for help, but don’t really get it as Trey shrugs by the stove while he stirs what he’s cooking.
“Oh, darling, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wait another moment. Trey has been so cruel, scaring me with threats of a ceremony in a judge’s office. Please, dear, I understand if you don’t want a large to-do, but please can we have something small here in the house, in the backyard? We can do just the family, don’t deny me a proper wedding for my son.”
“Mother, I’ve already been married. Please stop acting as if it’s a momentous occasion not to be missed.”
“But it is, darling! You married Susan because you felt you should. You’re marrying Kate because you love her. There’s a huge difference in that. Besides, you might have been married before, but Kate hasn’t.”
Her words and sincerity touch me and guilt fills me. I’m the one who wanted a judge’s office, and would have been happy flying to Vegas. Trey had warned me his mother would want to make it an event. Now I’m feeling ashamed. I don’t hesitate. “Of course. Something small in the back will be fine, as long as we keep it to just family. Please, small, very small.”
“Oh, how wonderful. Since you want it so small, it will be easy to have done in weeks. Trey was firm on that, and since we’ll do just family, we won’t bother with invitations and simply worry about flowers and your dress. I have the most amazing Italian restaurant that would be willing to cater. I know you love Italian, and we’ll just cross our fingers we can keep your dress white with the sauces.”
The rest of the night is spent at the table listing my favorite colors and flowers as Elise notes everything and promises to take care of everything. I shrug as Trey looks on.
Once we’re finally alone in bed, feeling satisfied and full of bliss, I’m surprised but know I shouldn’t be when Trey’s voice comes out of the darkness.
“Out with your worry.”
“It’s so stupid. I feel a fraud for wearing white.”
“It’s not stupid and you aren’t a fraud. Your body might not pure, but your heart is, and that’s what matters. It’s convention, sweetheart, but if you don’t feel comfortable, I’ll talk to my mother.”
His words soothe me. He’s right—no more holding on to worry. “I love you and then you say stuff like that and I love you even more. I’ll find something white, is it okay if it’s not too traditional and fussy?”
“Sweetheart, all I care about is it’s easy to take off. You’re beautiful and look good in just about anything.”
“Hmm, I think that deserves something special,” I murmur as I begin to jerk him in my hand seconds before I take him deep into my mouth.
Chapter Fourteen
I have tried on so many dresses I want to scream in frustration. I’m pretty sure I love Elise—she’s been the sweetest, kindest woman, and so welcoming to me—but if I had a sharp object... I’m not saying I wouldn’t use it. None of the dresses even slightly appeal. Too many flounces and ruffles and sparkles. Despite my insistence the dress be understated, Elise and I seem to not have the same dictionary. The sales assistant brings in three more carrier bags, and I sag into the chair.
She’s a sweet girl, and I wish I could remember her name. “Okay, I know it’s been a long day. I heard you when you came in, and I know you’ve hated the dresses, so I pulled two I know are more what you’re looking for and one that I think will make you both happy.”
The first dress is exactly what I pictured, yet on it just doesn’t appeal, and looks even more boring on then on the hanger. The second is, for me, the most appealing one out of all the ones so far, but it’s still not going to please Elise. As the girl unzips the last one, my knees are weak and I’m feeling the kind of excitement I haven’t felt since Trey proposed. It’s beautiful, and it isn’t what I thought I wanted, only now I’m silently praying it looks as good on me as I hope it does. It’s pure lace, with only a small puddle of a train, sleeveless, with a deep V at the chest. After months in Trey’s care, I’ve gone up a size, and I can finally see how good it looks. Before, I just shrugged and thought I looked okay, but without sharp bones underneath my skin along my chest and shoulders, the dress shows all of that area is soft, which seems to fit the dress.
“I knew it! You love it and your mother is going to just love it too.”
“Oh, she’s not my mother. She’s going to be my mother-in-law.” I don’t even take my eyes off my image in the mirror.
“That is so great. You’re lucky, I’ve been married almost ten years, and I would love to hear one word from my mother-in-law that wasn’t a backhanded compliment. She seems to adore you. I’m jealous. Come on, let’s show her how great you look, because I’m guessing you found the dress.”
I nod as I follow her out the door. Elise’s happy cry is followed by a hug and kiss on my cheek.
“This one, dear. Yes?”
“Yes,” I say as I return her hug.
***
We’re settling into a booth at the Italian restaurant that will be catering, to go over the menu. With the memory of the dress search and fitting that followed earlier today, I’m still feeling lightly giddy from happiness. My bubble is burst when Elise picks up her fork and smiles sweetly before trying the risotto and, after complimenting the chef, star