“What, sweetheart? I didn’t understand you.”
“Do you think I’m gross for what I did when I was younger, all those men and women?”
“No, that was then and this is now. My only concern is how much it hurt you then and how it might still be hurting you now. It was a way to cope, the only way you knew how.
I love you. Everything you have gone through is a part of you, a tiny part that led you to become the incredibly brave, wonderfully strong, and insanely sexy woman you are today. I hate that you went through pain, but I’m going to make sure you don’t feel it again. Love doesn’t hurt, it can help you heal, but you have to believe in it and yourself for it to really help. I want you to believe you are a good and beautiful person who deserves all the love I’m going to give you. Me telling you hasn’t been enough. I believe Joy has helped, now it’s time for you to make the jump into belief. Trust me, Kate. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
His words start the tears all over again, and he only hugs me close and allows me to cry.
Chapter Thirteen
Two months pass by quickly, and finally I’m not crying after a session anymore. Trey has an important meeting he’s trying to reschedule so he can be with me after my next session. I shake my head. I don’t want him to miss it for me. Trey ignores me and is firm the appointment needs to be rescheduled, his brother swears and hangs up. He tosses the Bluetooth on the kitchen table. “Come here.”
“No, Trey, you need to call your brother back. I can go to the appointment alone. It makes me crazy to I know I’m the cause of the stress between you and your brother.”
He looks stunned at my words. “Get your ass over here now.”
I hate the way I do as he tells me. It isn’t in me to deny him anything. His grip is painful.
“You are not the cause of conflict between me and my brother. I want you to get that shit out of your head right now. Alan is simply not up to running the corporate office, that’s the problem, and it doesn’t have a thing to do with you. I knew it before Dad sent me out here, and I’m pretty sure Alan knew it too, but he wanted to prove everyone wrong. He hasn’t, and now he’s being an asshole because he doesn’t know when to call time. He’s calling me at all hours, but when I make the calls and decisions that need to be made, he gets pissed. This meeting is one more example of it.”
Relief is so immense I’m boneless against him. “Oh thank goodness.”
Trey chuckles. “My father would be annoyed to hear you say that.”
“I’m sorry. I was sure it was about me taking up all your time.”
“Damn it, Kate, I’m starting to get frustrated with all of the worries you are keeping from me. I don’t like it.”
“I can’t run to you with every worry.”
“Yes you fucking can and yes you fucking will. That worry about me and my brother—how long has it been bothering you for no fucking good reason?”
Shrugging, shame flares. “A few months.”
“You stress, you worry, you tie yourself up in knots over stuff that bothers you, and this was something you didn’t need to worry about. What did I tell you from the very beginning? You don’t worry. You let me handle it. If something is bothering you, no matter how small you think it is, you tell me and I’ll fix it. Now you better start talking, because I can feel you’re tense as all fuck. Out with it, all of it.”
I want to run, and I’m pretty sure he knows it, because he shakes his head and his grip tightens. With a deep breath, I start. “I worry I don’t do enough cooking and you do too much. I worry about the way you spend so much money on me, like it’s no big deal to you. I’m—”
“Okay, hold on. Those are the sweetest most ridiculous things for you to worry about. I love you and I love taking care of you. I like cooking for you, and you cook too. I would say we are almost even in the kitchen. Sweetheart, the money is no big deal. I’m never going to be able to spend all the money I have on myself. Like I said before, I like taking care of you, and if I can buy you a dress, a painting, or books that make you happy, then it makes me happy. Happy, do you understand? It brings me happiness to give you things because I know you appreciate them. Maybe if you didn’t it would bother me but that isn’t you and so it makes me happy and this is one time where I’m going to just tell you to get over it, because I’m not going to change on that score. Okay, next.”
“I’m scared you’ll go back to New York.” Besides the kids thing I’m locking away until I can deal with it, it’s my biggest fear. With the problems between his brother’s frequent calls and Trey’s tension, it’s obvious his brother isn’t able to get thr
ough a day without Trey’s assistance. I’m terrified his brother is going to plead for Trey to take over the corporate office and come back to Chicago and Trey would go back to New York.
He studies me intently. “Would you be against moving to New York?”
My chest is tight. “I don’t know. I really don’t. I love my job and wouldn’t really want to leave it, but I would if you asked me to. Though I think I’m scared I won’t be up to the whole New York society thing your mother and Alan’s fiancée deal with.”
“‘Up to’ in what way?”
Ignoring the tightness in my chest, I don’t flinch from the truth. “I’m not good enough. I don’t have your money or connections or family history. My history is embarrassing and ugly.”
Anger flashes, but he hides it quickly. He opens his mouth and then closes it. Without a word, he picks me up, sets me on the table, and disappears down the hall into his office. I’m not sure what to do, so I stay on the table, wondering what he’s doing. When he comes back, he sits down heavily and moves my legs open so he’s between them. “Okay, I keep thinking the moment will make itself known, but it hasn’t, and I can’t take it anymore. I think two of your worries can be settled. Put it on. We’re getting married. I love you and you love me and I can’t wait anymore.”
I open the white ring box he hands me and I can’t hold back the gasp. Holy shit, it’s fucking enormous. The emerald-cut diamond has to be around fifteen carats. My hands start to shake and Trey takes over. He takes the ring out, takes my hand, and slides it up my left ring finger. It fits perfectly, which doesn’t surprise me at all.
“Kate, look at me. I love you and I go where you are. If you want to stay in Chicago then I stay in Chicago. I think what you said about not being good enough is complete and utter bullshit, however I do know it’s a vicious circle. I would never put you through something that could bring you pain, unless I thought it would be worth it in the end, and me going to New York isn’t worth it. I told you, I pick you. I’ll stay in Chicago. I need to talk with my father, and the three of us need to have a blunt clearing-the-air discussion. Alan isn’t up to running the office, it doesn’t mean I can’t run it from here. I practically have been for the last month. Now, what else is there worrying you?”