‘Then perhaps it’s as well it died, you wanted a girl even less than you wanted a boy,’ she scorned to hide her pain.
His hand came out to painfully grasp hers. ‘I’d much rather have you alive and well—’
Kelly snatched her hand away. ‘Don’t spout insincere pla
titudes to me!’ she snapped coldly, turning away from him. ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to sleep now.’ She snuggled down under the covers in a pretence of sleep.
‘Kelly?’ he touched her shoulders.
She shook off his hand. ‘I’m sleepy. Goodbye, Jordan.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ There was weary resignation in his voice, but Kelly remained hardened against him.
She waited for the soft click of the door as he left before she allowed the tears to flow. She could still remember it all now, calling at Jordan’s office that morning, eager to show him the tiny clothes she had bought for the baby, rushing happily into his outer office to find his secretary’s desk empty. She could hear Jordan’s even tone as he talked to the girl who had been his secretary for the last year, but it hadn’t bothered her that they were working. She had met the other girl a couple of times, and her presence in Jordan’s office was immaterial to her.
But the conversation hadn’t been! What she had heard that day had shown her all too clearly that Jordan’s relationship with his secretary continued outside the office.
She had rushed out of the building as though pursued by the devil. Jordan and his secretary! Oh, she had felt sick, so sick she just ran and ran, not sparing a thought for the baby until she had felt that first searing pain, a pain that was quickly followed by another, and another, until she had thought she would die.
So she had discovered the reason Jordan hadn’t been near her since her pregnancy had been confirmed—he had been getting that satisfaction from his beautiful secretary. She had vowed there and then that he would never touch her again, a decision she quickly apprised him of, on returning from the hospital to their home in fact.
‘Comfortable?’ Jordan tucked the blanket more firmly about her legs.
She nodded distantly. ‘Thank you.’
He gave her a long searching look before moving impatiently to get in behind the wheel of the car.
They didn’t talk on the drive to their home, as they hadn’t talked in the two weeks since she had lost the baby. Kelly had nothing to say to this cold, hard man who was her husband, and he seemed to take his mood from her.
He held her elbow as they entered the house together, refusing to have his fingers dislodged.
‘Oh, it’s so good to see you, Mrs Lord,’ Mrs McLeod, their housekeeper, hurried out into the hallway to greet them.
‘Thank you, Mrs McLeod.’ She couldn’t even raise any warmth for the woman who had shown her nothing but kindness since Kelly’s marriage to her employer six months ago.
‘Tea in the lounge, I think, Mrs McLeod,’ Jordan suggested smoothly. ‘I’m sure Mrs Lord would welcome the refreshment.’
‘Of course, sir,’ the woman smiled. ‘I have it all ready. I won’t be a moment.’
Once alone Kelly had moved away from her husband and into the spacious lounge that even after six months still managed to convey none of her own personality but was all Jordan. The deep grey velvet curtains either end of the huge room perfectly matched the deep-pile carpet. The black leather armchairs and sofa were just as impersonal, and even the slightly feminine touches of ornaments and clear-cut glass seemed to bring no warmth to the room—as Jordan himself had no warmth.
She couldn’t even begin to guess why Jordan had married her in the first place; it certainly hadn’t been because he loved her, he didn’t know how to love. But love was the reason she had accepted him—her own love for him, a love that had died as her baby had died.
From the moment they had met at a dinner party given by her father, with her acting as his hostess, Jordan had begun to pay her attention. He had asked her out to the theatre that first evening, and for the next month they had met constantly. If Jordan had treated her rather like a child to be humoured she hadn’t minded. She had craved only his soul-destroying kisses that had always ended the evening, kisses and caresses that he was always in control of, no matter how she begged for more.
When he had asked her to marry him she had eagerly accepted, her love for him so strong by this time that she wanted only to be with him for all time.
Her father had been less delighted by the news, but despite his mild opposition the wedding had taken place only a month after their first meeting. They had honeymooned in Barbados, with Jordan introducing her to all the sensual delight her body was capable of, seeming to find pleasure in her pleasure, until they both reached the tumultuous climax of their senses.
It was during one of those sun-drenched, love-filled days and nights that Kelly had conceived their child, a child that had seemed the fulfilment of all her dreams. Jordan hadn’t shared her enthusiasm, but in her own happiness she hadn’t paid this much attention. She had put his reserve down to a reluctance to halt their nights of passion, although she hadn’t expected them to come to quite such an abrupt end, the very night she had told Jordan he was to be a father.
‘Your father is coming to dinner,’ Jordan informed her as they waited for Mrs McLeod to bring in the tea. ‘I haven’t told him the news. It didn’t seem the sort of thing I should tell him over the telephone, even if I’d known where to reach him in the States.’
Kelly’s mouth turned back. ‘Then I’m going to come as something of a shock to him.’
‘Yes,’ he agreed tersely, his expression grim.
She patted her flattened stomach bitterly. ‘Quite a shock,’ she repeated.