Kim’s voice tugged at Mel’s heartstrings. She almost lost her resolve. But Mel had caved to her too many times before. She opened the door and left the room.
Mel was sitting in the common room a few hours later when the text came. Will you be my girlfriend?
Kim rolled over onto her side and faced the wall. Mel’s stomach sank. Kim was in one of those moods again. This seemed to happen more and more these days.
“Is everything okay, Kim?” Mel asked.
“I’m fine.” Kim curled up into a ball. “God, why are you always asking me that?”
“Because you don’t seem fine. And you’re shutting me out again.”
“I’m not shutting you out. You’re just too suffocating. God, why are you so needy all the time?”
“I’m not-” Mel sighed. “It’s just that, you say you love me, but you don’t act like it. Sometimes it’s like you’re only using me for sex. Which doesn’t even make sense since the way that you act after we have sex makes me think you hate it. And you hate me.” Mel’s voice quavered.
“How can you even say that? I’m the only person who has ever stuck by you, who has ever loved you, and this is how you repay me? After everything that I’ve done for you? I agreed to be your girlfriend just for you, for god's sakes.”
“You won’t even let me tell anyone that you’re my girlfriend. We’ve been together for six months! And our friends don’t even know about us,” Mel said.
“We’ve talked about this. You know how my parents are. If they find out, they’ll disown me! Or worse. Is that what you want?”
“No, but-” Mel took a deep breath. “I’m tired of this, Kim. I’m tired of all the fighting. I’m tired of you lashing out at me. I’m tired of all the guilt trips.”
“Me? You’re the one who’s always trying to make me feel guilty. You’re the one who’s saying that I don’t love you. How do you think that makes me feel? I’ll never be enough for you, Mel.”
“Is it really asking that much to have my girlfriend tell me she loves me once in a while? Or god forbid, show me some affection? I have needs too, you know.”
“You want me to tell you that I love you every minute of the day and dote on you all the time? I’m not your mother, Mel. It’s not my problem that she never did all those things.” Kim scoffed. “And these ‘needs’ of yours? You mean all that perverted shit you’re into? It doesn’t take a shrink to figure out why you’re so messed up.”
Mel winced. This wasn’t the first time Kim had used things that Mel told Kim in confidence against her. “That has nothing to do with this!” She threw her arms up in the air. “This is pointless. I’m not putting up with this anymore.” Mel turned to leave.
“If you walk out that door, it’s over. You’ll never be able to find anyone who loves you like I do.”
Kim’s words hit Mel hard. But she held firm. Mel stormed out the door and slammed it behind her.
She spent the next few days avoiding Kim. Which meant going back to their dorm room as little as possible. When they did run into each other, Kim simply pretended that Mel wasn’t there. That was fine with Mel. She wasn’t surprised by Kim’s behavior. Kim probably thought it was only a matter of time until Mel came crawling back. But as far as Mel was concerned, it was over between them for good.
One night, she came back to her dorm after spending most of the day in the library. She hoped that Kim was asleep since it was so late. But when she opened the door, Kim was sitting on Mel’s bed. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet with tears.
“I’m sorry Mel,” Kim said, her voice cracking. “I didn’t mean those things I said.”
Mel stood rooted in the doorway. “Kim, I-”
“I need you, Mel!” Kim began to sob. “You’re not going to leave me, are you? I can’t live without you.”
As Mel looked into Kim’s pleading eyes, her resolve shattered. “Kim.” Mel sat down on the bed next to her girlfriend. “I’ll stay. But things have to change. We can’t go on like this forever.”
“I’ll do better, I promise.” Kim buried her face in Mel’s chest. “I love you, Mel.”
“I love you too.” Mel hugged her tight.
Mel watched Kim pack the last of her things. Summer was finally here. Everyone was looking forward to it, except for Mel. She was anxious about being away from Kim, especially considering how strained things had been between them for the past few days.
Kim cleared everything from the top of her desk and dumped it into a box with a loud thud.
“Is everything okay, Kim?”
“Yes,” she snapped.