I OPENED MY eyes and looked at my alarm clock. It was seven A.M. and the phone was ringing. Diesel reached across me and answered it.
“It’s for you,” he said, handing me the phone. “It’s the Batcave.”
“This is Gene in the Rangeman control room,” a guy said. “I’m going to patch you through to Hal.”
A moment later, Hal came on. “I hope I’m not calling too early,” he said, “but a new monkey just showed up, and he’s wearing a scarf.”
“What kind of scarf?”
“It’s a scrap of material tied around his neck. Like decoration. Like you see on a dog sometimes. It’s made out of hippie material.”
“Tie-?dye?”
“Yeah. Real bright colors. Like what you see in the house here.”
“Hang on to him. I’m on my way.”
I returned the phone to the nightstand. “Hal said a monkey just showed up.”
Diesel was already out of bed, getting dressed. “I heard.”
“How could you hear?”
“I have good ears.”
“I was talking to him on the phone!”
“I can’t find my shoes,” Diesel said.
I took clean jeans and underwear from the laundry basket and headed for the bathroom. “Under the coffee table. Just like always.”
“We’ve been living together too long,” Diesel said. “I’m not the man of mystery anymore. Your mother washes my underwear, and you always know where my shoes are.”
“You’ve never been the man of mystery. Ranger’s the man of mystery.”
“Then who am I?”
“You’re Diesel.” And just being Diesel was more than enough.
DIESEL AND I had breakfast sandwiches and coffee to go. Carl was in the backseat of the Subaru with a breakfast sandwich and a bottle of water. Our hope was that Gail had managed to tie a scrap of her skirt around the monkey’s neck and set him free. And that somehow we could get the monkey to lead us back to Gail. We’d brought Carl along as translator.
“This is going to be embarrassing,” Diesel said.
“What?”
“Talking to a monkey in front of Ranger’s man.”
“How about if I tell Hal we need to talk to the monkey in private?”
“I know Carl seems rotten enough to be human sometimes, but I’m not completely convinced he understands anything we say.”
“He can play Super Mario,” I said to Diesel.
“Yeah, but he can’t win. Mario keeps dying.”
Carl tapped Diesel on the shoulder. Diesel looked at Carl in the rearview mirror, and Carl gave Diesel the finger.
“I’m just saying,” Diesel said to Carl.