“Why do you play these games, Liz? Does it make you feel good to torture me?”
I move forward, trying to regain the distance he has put between us. “You know that’s the last thing I want to do.”
“Yet, here you are.” His eyes close and he draws in a deep breath, making his chest shudder. “Why did you do it? Why did you leave? Was I too damaged for you? Too wounded, too insecure? Did I lose you because I let you see the person I was inside?”
“No!” Tears fill my eyes. Everything he’d shared with me—his guilt over his father, his depression, addictions—all of it had made me lo
ve him even more. The idea that I left him because of that is something I can’t bear. “Of course not.”
“So, was it the fame? Did you think I’d stand in your way?” His eyes are bright. “I would have given everything up. I would have uprooted my life over and over, just to be with you.”
“And you would have hated me for it. Just as I would have hated you if I’d given up the opportunity to go…because I wanted to, Aidan. I wanted to stay with you so badly I was willing to tell one of the most powerful directors in Hollywood to go to hell. What we had was so perfect I was willing to throw the recognition I’d always wanted down the drain just to be by your side. It scared me…It scared me to think we would ruin it somehow, that it wouldn’t last, and then we’d hate each other. It scared me because it was too much, too intense, too good to last…and at the time, it felt like the best thing I could do for the both of us was to make a clean break.”
I close my eyes and a tear rolls down my cheeks. “I was young and stupid and afraid. I thought I knew what love…what life was about. I was afraid that if we tried too hard to keep what we had, we’d ruin it.”
“So, you left without a word, and I had to read about your new movie role in the news. I had to read about your whirlwind romance with your co-star. I saw you move on like I never existed.”
“None of it was real.” I reach out to touch him and he flinches. “Aidan, it was all publicity for the movie. All the fans wanted me and Devlin to be dating, like a wish fulfillment couple. The studio liked it and told us not to deny the rumors. We didn’t start to date until more than a year later.”
His face tightens at the mention of my ex.
“I thought it was time to move on. I thought you had too, but now… I know that…” I swallow. “I shouldn’t have left like that. I should have given us a chance, even the slightest chance, instead of thinking I knew all the answers.”
He reaches for me, cupping my face with one hand and wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb. He holds my gaze for a long moment, and it’s almost as if he can see into my soul.
Can you see that I always loved you? Always.
Pain flashes across his eyes, and with a sigh he places his forehead against mine. I hold on to him, feeling his muscles beneath my hands. “Liz,” he whispers.
My heart swells and bursts into a million aching pieces. I want to bury myself in him. I want to open my heart and my soul and beg him to give me even a fraction of what I once had.
“Liz.” This time, his voice even more tender than before.
I pull in a breath. “Aidan.”
He lifts his head from mine, and for a moment I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead, he releases me and takes a step back.
“I don’t want your love,” he says, his gaze steady on my face. “I have to work with you now, but when my work is done with the play, I hope to God I never have to see you again.”
Something breaks inside me. If he wants to crush me, he has succeeded. He starts to open the door, and without thinking, I place one hand over his on the door knob and curl the other around his neck, lifting my face to press my lips to his.
It’s a desperate move, but I am desperate. I kiss him, sliding my lips against his firm, yet tender lips, feeling his implacable stiffness and hoping to melt the ice beneath.
After a few moments, I give up and place my hands on his chest. His muscles stiffen under my touch. “You have to stop hating me,” I whisper helplessly. “I can’t bear it anymore.”
Gently, he takes hold of my arms and thrusts me away from him. “You should have thought of that before crushing my heart, Liz,” he mutters. “Now it’s far too late.”
Chapter Twenty Five
Aidan
Walking away from her is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I step out of Landon’s study, unable to think or function clearly. I don’t wait to see if she’ll follow me. I run up the stairs, taking them three at a time, trying to put as much distance between us as I can.
I never stopped loving you.
In the boys’ room, my nephews are already asleep, and after a few moments spent watching their peaceful faces, I go to the nursery to see little Penny sleeping with her thumb in her mouth.
“Hey.”