He started toward me.
“Don’t!” I snapped. I was barely holding it together. If he touched me, I would unravel.
I stood up on wobbly legs, went to my room, shut the door, and began to pack. My hands were shaking as I shoved books and clothes in my bag.
What did I tell you? He’s a liar, a cheat. All men are. Don’t be like your mom.
Yes. I should have known… I wished I had the energy to slap him, kick him…but I didn’t. I just felt…crushed. Heavy. My limbs weighed down by pain and betrayal.
I swallowed the hurt, buried it deep. I wouldn’t show it to him. He had crushed a part of me, but I wouldn’t let him take my pride. He wouldn’t see my tears. He didn’t deserve to see them. He wouldn’t… He wouldn’t…
But my feet gave out on me, and I slid against my bed to the floor. Buried my face in my hands and cried silently.
How could he?
I don’t know how long I sat there, staring into space, lost in thought. Eventually, I forced myself to get up.
It was time to leave. I shouldered my bag.
There was a hitch in my stride as I opened the door and spotted Caleb seated on the floor outside my room. When he glanced up, I noted the dark shadows under his green eyes, the dejection in them. He looked exhausted and vulnerable.
But I knew now that he was a great pretender.
Everything was a lie.
I ignored him, turning to walk toward the front door. I had to leave now. I gritted my teeth as he stood in front of me, blocking my way.
“You don’t trust me. You never did, did you?” he asked.
He waited for me to answer him, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t.
“Whatever I say to you now, it wouldn’t matter. Because you’ve already made up your mind,” he continued, his voice thick with emotion.
“Red.”
His green eyes were pleading, compelling me to stay.
But I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
“Without trust, you and I are nothing,” he whispered.
Trust him? So he could feed me lies… No, I wasn’t going to stay for that. My hand reached for the doorknob. I was breathing hard.
Silence.
“Red?” He extended his hand, palm up, silently asking me to take it. “Don’t go.”
I looked into his eyes, and I wanted to believe him. My breath was shaky as I dragged air into my lungs, and I smelled Beatrice-Rose’s floral perfume on him, leaving me no doubt in my mind. I bit back my tears and hardened my heart. “I can’t do this. Goodbye, Caleb,” I choked out.
I rushed blindly past him. I was losing it, and I couldn’t allow him to see me fall apart. I opened the door and stepped out, refusing the urge to look back. I had packed everything I brought with me when I came to his home…
So why did it feel like I was leaving everything behind?
Chapter Thirty-two
Veronica
Vulnerability was an invitation for pain.