“Red…” He finally raised his head, leaned back on the wall, and looked at me.
I inhaled sharply.
The sun was rising, an enormous beacon of light to those who had lost their way, adrift in their own pain and misery. Would I be one of those people tonight?
The sun’s soft rays now penetrated the window, providing enough light to see all of his handsome face. Caleb looked exhausted. I took in the shadows under his eyes, eyes so dark that the green was gone. His mouth was set in a tight, severe line, his jaw hard. It looked like he had run his hands through his hair many times.
And then I noticed his clothes. Why were they rumpled? I shut my eyes.
No. No. Please…
“She asked me to stay, and I did. I meant to stay just for an hour, but I fell asleep.”
I let out the breath I hadn’t known I was holding. All right, he fell asleep there. He was exhausted, probably still had a headache from his hangover. It made sense. But why was he speaking like he still had something…bad to tell me?
“Her dad has dementia, Red. I didn’t know it was that bad. He didn’t even recognize her. She didn’t take it well, broke down in front of me. Her
mom was yelling at the nurse to take him away. It was awful.” He shut his eyes and pressed his fingers against them, as if to wipe away the memory of what had just happened.
I wanted to go to him, comfort him. But I didn’t.
There was more. I knew there was more.
“Red.”
This is it. He’s going to tell me. God. Please.
I lowered my eyes, refusing to look at him. Whatever he was going to tell me was not good. I could feel it in the air, almost taste it. Dreaded it.
“Red,” he repeated. “Please look at me.”
I clenched my fists, unclenched them. Then slowly, I raised my eyes and looked at him.
“Do you trust me?”
Four words. Four words that sounded so simple. But nothing held more meaning than those four little words at that moment.
Trust. It always boiled down to trust, didn’t it? Giving your trust to a person meant handing them the dagger to stab you. To hurt you. To destroy you. And I had given Caleb that weapon.
I shut my eyes again, feeling my heart break. I wanted to throw up.
“Red, do you trust me?”
God. Please not him. Not him. Please, don’t let him betray me. Anyone but him.
What did I tell you? my subconscious mocked. All men lie, all men cheat. Leave him before he hurts you.
Words spilled out of my mouth without thinking. “Did you sleep with her?”
Caleb pulled himself to his feet with deliberate slowness, as though trying not to scare me. As though I were a frightened animal, ready to bolt. Anguish reflected in his eyes as he watched me.
“Answer me, Caleb.” I said it calmly, not betraying any of the turmoil I was feeling inside.
His face twisted in pain. “It’s no, isn’t it? You don’t trust me.”
It was like witnessing a building about to collapse, and I was inside it. I knew what was coming, could see the cracks in the walls, hear the screech of stone against stone. No matter how hard I tried to escape, how hard I tried to run away, I couldn’t. All the doors were locked, and I was trapped.
And Caleb had the key.