"This isn’t going to take long."
"Good," I said. I saw her pause and collect herself. I didn't want to be here talking to her no matter how much I felt I could have been better to her the last time we had talked. What had happened had happened, and it was a waste of time thinking about the past. She was here now, and I wanted to get to the part where she left again.
"I'm sorry I keep showing up like this, but this time, I have something you might actually be excited to see," she said. She handed me the cream-colored envelope she had been holding. I opened it and pulled a bound collection of sheets out. She waited as I skimmed them. "I need your signature on these, and I can be on my way."
"That really all you want this time?" I asked.
"I know you don't want me here. Because of that, I can't say I want to be here either.
I don't care whether you sign it or not, but you said you wanted to sell. This is how that's going to happen. Either put your signature down or drive back to Salt Lake and tell Brett you had a change of heart yourself."
"He sent you?" I asked.
"Yes, and he's waiting for me to come back with that," she said motioning to the sheets.
"Can't keep him waiting, can we," I said sarcastically, looking at her. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Need a pen?" she asked. "What?"
"I'm just thinking about how this could have happened weeks ago. Even before I came out here."
"Then sign it so I can leave," she said.
"Never been in a hurry to leave before," I said, heading towards the door and walking into the cabin. I had been outside to see whether it was a good day to try harvest some firewood, but then I had seen her car come up. Compared to some of the other days that had passed, today wasn't that bad. It was clear, and it hadn't snowed the night before, but nothing was happening until she was gone.
"I don't have time for this, Cameron," she said, impatiently.
"That's because you waited until the last minute, princess. Not me."
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I didn't say anything til a few days ago. You have every right to be mad about it. I can't afford to wait anymore, and I don't think you want me here any more than I want to be." She wanted to leave. I didn't know why it hurt a little hearing her. She wasn't wrong, but she wasn't right either. I didn't want to see her, but I couldn't stop thinking about her when she wasn’t here. Now that she was, I didn't know whether I would say no if she said she wanted to stay. I didn't think I'd fight her if she tried to touch me and I wanted to believe that she wouldn't try to fight me if I tried to touch her.
"Fine. Hand me a pen," I said, walking over to the couch and sitting, putting the sheets onto the coffee table. She pulled a pen out of her purse and waited while I read the document through. They were getting another investor involved. It was a company that would take my majority stake for a cool five hundred and forty million dollars. I wasn't sure how they had gotten to that figure, but I didn't have particularly strong feelings about it. Not in the way that it was what I had been hoping for going through with the sale, but there was something.
It was a little sobering to think that my father had worked his whole life for that and it was going to be as easy as putting my signature on the paperwork to give it all away. I didn't want it. I had never wanted it, but it felt a little like what I figured it would feel like if I tried to donate all my parents' clothes to charity, like I was losing part of them somehow.
I shook it off. It wasn't real. I had just been weird since the dream. I didn't believe in spirits and ghosts and all that shit, but the dream had been hard to forget. I read the document through and signed, getting up and walking towards Natalie when I was done. She had been wandering up and down the room, her heels clacking on the floor. She stopped when she saw me.
"Here," I said flatly, handing everything back to her.
"Thanks. Cameron?"
"What?"
"I am sorry, for what I did. I need you to know that it wasn't malicious. I didn't want to hurt you, but I did, and for that, I need to apologize."
"Fine," I said.
"And I," she hesitated. "I'm going. I'm going to leave but I can't before telling you what I feel." She paused again, looking down at the ground, before up at me again. "Part of the reason why I stayed silent so long, Cameron, was because of what I felt. Over our time together, I developed feelings for you. I tried to push them aside, thinking it was unprofessional for me to feel that way because of who you are, but they never faded. They just got stronger."
"Hm," I said. What I wouldn't have given to hear her say that to me on Tuesday instead of what she had ended up saying. She had feelings for me? I shook my head. Well, she was out of luck. The only feelings I had left as far as she was concerned were indifference. I couldn’t even hate her. I just wanted our association to end as suddenly as it had begun so I could move on with my life and she could move on with hers.
"Thank you for telling me," I said.
"So?" she asked. I shook my head.
"So nothing, Natalie. I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way. It's a bad time, and too much has happened between us already. I'm not interested in trying to have anything right now."
"Because of what I did?" she asked.