I had things to do and obsessing over a kiss from a gorgeous man wasn’t one of them. I needed to pack for my trip. Maybe I should skip his class tomorrow. It would give us a few days post-kiss to forget all about it.
I couldn’t. I knew that, but it sounded good. Nope, tomorrow I would have to face him. I was dreading the awkward encounter—mostly. I was also looking forward to seeing him. I knew I shouldn’t be, but deep down, that snake of desire was coiled in my belly, wanting more.
Chapter Fifteen
Ian
I could call in sick. I should call in. I don’t think I slept a wink all night. As soon as Tessa fled my office, I fell into a pit of self-hatred. I had kissed a student. My assistant. The girl who worked under me. I can’t believe I’ve made such a colossal mistake. It wasn’t like me to act without thinking first. I am not the kind of guy who sleeps around w
ith college co-eds.
Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to think of a really good excuse for staying home today. I could say I had the measles. Or I had been in a car accident and needed a few days to recover. Why did I have to make up an excuse at all? I could call the dean and tell her I’m taking a personal day.
No, I couldn’t. It would never fly, especially considering the semester had just begun.
My eyes moved around the bedroom. It was the room I had shared with Miriam for a few short years. As quickly as Miriam appeared in my thoughts, she vanished. My mind drifted right back to Tessa and the kiss. I could still feel her on my lips. I felt a bit like a teenage girl. I never wanted to brush my teeth or wipe my lips, again. I wanted to taste her there, forever.
“You kissed a student, dude,” I said aloud, scolding myself.
In my defense, she wasn’t technically my student. Did the same no fraternization rules apply? I hoped not. I had never done something so reckless in my life. Scratch that. My relationship with Miriam had been born of a reckless one-night-stand that turned into a baby and marriage. I shook my head, not wanting to go back down that road. It stirred up horrible memories and reminded me why I was in the position I was in today.
Dexter jumped on my chest. “What do you want? Maybe I can call in sick because my cat died.”
The cat either didn’t understand my threat or didn’t care. He sat on my chest, looking down at me in that way he did when he wanted food. He always wanted food, which was why he was twenty pounds. Cats shouldn’t weigh twenty pounds, the vet said. The vet promised, I mean warned me, the cat would not live a long life if I didn’t put him on a diet. But I was pretty sure it would be my life that was shortened if I even thought about putting Dexter on a diet.
“Get off, and I’ll get you some damn food,” I grumbled, pushing the cat off and getting out of bed. Dexter meowed in protest at the abrupt dismount, but quickly scampered out of the room when I gave him a death glare.
As I stood there, looking around my room that still had the same pictures on the wall that Miriam had picked out and hung, I had a sudden epiphany. I wanted things to be different. I was tired of this self-made hell I had been living in. Miriam would not approve of Tessa, beyond the obvious reason because we were married. Miriam and Tessa were very different, and I didn’t think that was a bad thing.
I managed to get myself together and off to school. The time was filled with near constant memories of the kiss. I had dissected it to the point it wasn’t what I initially remembered anymore. Strike that. The taste of her lips was not something I would ever forget.
Sitting at my desk reviewing my notes for the day, I was immediately aware of her when she walked in. In an instant, I knew it was going to be very awkward. She wasn’t bouncing or flowing like she normally did. It was a walk of shame. Her head was down, and her shoulders slumped forward as she walked past my desk, avoiding all eye contact. Great.
I ignored her in the corner, doing her best to appear busy. Once class got going, we had to fake it. We couldn’t let on that we were completely freaked out to be near each other. It would send up a red flag to students who loved to gossip.
“Miss McShane?” I called out.
Her head popped up. She gave me a strange look before she answered. “Yes, Professor Dunlap?”
“Can you return the graded quizzes so we can go over them?” I turned my attention back to the class. “This is important information. We’re heading into the field next week, and I need everyone to pass. And yes, we will be repeating the quiz at the end of class.”
Tessa walked past me. I involuntarily inhaled, knowing there would be a trail of fruity fragrance left in her wake, and I wasn’t disappointed.
Once finished, she took the long way around the room to avoid having to walk past me.
“Is that all?” she asked from the safety of her side of the room.
“Yes, I’ll be handing out the quiz again. Can you just make sure they are ready to go out?”
She nodded, refusing to meet my eyes as she went to the desk behind me.
This couldn’t go on. I couldn’t deal with the weirdness. I managed to get through the first class, barely. I needed to talk to her. Clear the air so I could focus on teaching rather than the tension strumming between us.
“Tessa,” I started when the class cleared out. She looked up, looked around and then back at me. We were alone.
“I need to run an errand. I hope it can wait. I’ll be back,” she said, rushing out the door so fast I didn’t get a chance to say a word. The situation was worse than I had thought and it wasn’t going to get better by ignoring the elephant in the room.
She breezed in with the next stream of students. “Tessa,” I said in a low voice.