I barely knew anything about Alissa. She was at my house all the time, but that was because I couldn’t be there. I didn’t want to ask Kayla. She would get suspicious, and I wasn’t sure how she would handle me dating someone else. I knew in my gut that if I didn’t take this chance with Alissa, I would regret it, and that would not go away since I would be seeing her a lot once my father and her mother got home from their honeymoon.
Juan and I switched the conversation and closed out our time together talking about Kayla and the summer that was quickly approaching. Meanwhile, in the back of my head, I was formulating a plan that would bring me closer to Alissa. I still wasn’t sure how to get involved in the things that interested her, but I was determined to find out how. It was definitely helpful having Juan behind me on this, even if he didn’t know that the girl I was interested in was my stepsister. I was pretty sure at that point, he would be okay with just about anyone I was interested in if it meant that I was getting over Christina. Still, there was definitely something nerve-wracking about giving into my feelings for Alissa, and I had to get past that if I was ever going to be happy again.
Chapter Six
Alissa
“Seriously, Alissa, the man knows what he is doing with his hips,” Bella said, clutching her chest.
We had been sitting at my house drinking wine for over an hour as Bella went on and on about her new husband’s bedroom technique. I got up and walked over to the counter, my cheeks bright red, and poured another glass of wine. I sat back down in the chair facing my sister and shook my head as I sipped the warm red liquid.
“It’s like he knows exactly where to put that thing,” she said, sipping her wine. “I’m pretty sure it’s the best sex that I’ve ever had with someone.”
“You are too much,” I said, laughing embarrassingly. “I really don’t need to know about your husband’s bedroom antics.”
“Look,” she said, pointing at me. “It took me three tries to find the right man. I think I’ve earned the right to talk about his gorgeous dick.”
I flinched and laughed, waving at her to carry on if it made her feel better. All the while, Ryan kept creeping back into my thoughts. I wasn’t watching Kayla that evening, and I found that part of me missed being there, and not just because of Kayla. This man had somehow crept into my mind and continued to make an appearance several times a day. At that point, though, I didn’t mind the distraction as much as I thought I would, and I could feel the butterflies in my chest whenever my mind tumbled over his tanned, hard muscles. Bella, however, didn’t notice my distraction and just continued on.
Bella was amazing, free-spirited, and completely in love with being in love. This was her third husband, but she wasn’t bitter about men at all. She felt like you had to go through a few men before you found the one, and that was exactly what she had done. However, this one seemed to be sticking around, something that I always hoped that Bella would find. She was whimsical in her thoughts and held strong to the concept of true love. Me? I wasn’t a cynic by any means, but in reality, I had never really been in a serious relationship, and from what I’d seen of my friends’ divorces, true love was looking more like a fairy tale than real life. Still, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that the right guy was out there for me. I just needed to find him.
Ryan was damaged. That was no secret, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was the first man that I had ever thought about for this long of a period of time. I knew there was something there I needed to explore, but I was more than a bit nervous. Part of me envied Bella’s fearlessness and free spirit, but I wasn’t the girl that just jumped headfirst whenever something felt good.
“Love is crazy,” Bella said. “I believe you can love a million people in your lifetime, but there will always be that one that stands out in your mind. The one you are supposed to be with. Finding him can be tough at first, but I didn’t give up, and now, here I am, happy as a clam. You should seriously try it: no joke.”
“I’m not sure if your style is mine.” I laughed.
“Alissa, if you want to find that guy, you need to just keep trying until lightning strikes,” she said. “I mean, I don’t expect you to go out and get married right away. Although if you did, I wouldn’t judge. But I mean, start dating. Don’t tie yourself down. Right now, you have nothing to lose.”
“Except my dignity.” I laughed.
“You are silly,” she said, shaking her head. “You need to embrace your femininity, go out there and remember that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Why can men take their time going from relationship to relationship, slowly deciding on the woman they want to spend their life with, but we can’t? There is no shame in testing the waters until you find the right temperature for you. I did it, and I couldn’t be happier, although I’m pretty sure Mom will be glad not to have to go to another wedding.”
“You eloped last time,” I said.
“Yeah, and that is how I knew he was the one.” She smiled. “It didn’t matter to have a show. I just wanted him, no flowers or crazy party, just him. Our little party of two in the valleys of Vermont’s beautiful mountains was the best wedding out of all three of them.”
“I don’t know.” I chuckled. “I liked that Halloween-themed one. You made an amazing zombie bride.”
“I’m not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or be very offended by that,” Bella said, laughing and kicking me in the thigh. “If I remember correctly, you were a pretty hot dead prom queen.”
“Yeah, that was a fun night.” I smiled. “But in all
seriousness, there is something to be said about the traditional way of thinking. Meeting a man, courting, falling in love, becoming best friends, and when neither of us have any reservations, we get married, and hopefully, for life. A mate, a partner to walk through life with. I am not judging you at all, but I don’t think I could take the constant up and downs of searching for that true love over and over again.”
“True, and for some people, that works,” she said. “But with the divorce rate at an astonishing high—”
“No thanks to you.” I smiled.
“I did my part.” She laughed. “But with the divorce rate so high, I feel like people don’t know how to do it the traditional way anymore. On top of that, the traditional way stemmed from the fact that you didn’t have choices. You made one choice, and you stuck with that. Nowadays, we have the freedom to find the best match for us. We have the ability to seek out not only love, but the best love. The love that fits us perfectly, like we were molded from the same piece of earth. It’s not a usual thing for that to happen with the first man that you meet.”
“I don’t know,” I said, sipping my wine. “I think there are a million people that I could be happy with out there. I think that it takes work to be a partner. I’m not talking about marrying the first man I meet, but I’m talking about taking that connection that I find and nurturing it like our grandparents did, and turning it into something more than beautiful. I think everyone’s definition of perfect is different, and I think that it’s dangerous to always think there may something just a little more fitted to me out there. I feel like you will always be looking and never really see what you have. At least, that’s how I would see myself being.”
“I understand what you’re saying.” Bella smiled. “We definitely look at relationships differently, but in the end, I just want us to be happy.”
“Very true,” I said, raising my glass. “Like Mom and our new stepfather. Mom has been with two men in her life. The first left her like an idiot, and the second, she just fell madly for, so I guess there is something to be said about finding the perfect one for you. I think for some people, it just happens, though.”
“Speaking of Mom,” Bella said, grabbing the postcard off the counter. “Have you heard anything more from her?”