My chest felt tight and raw when I pulled back. His shirt was wet with my tears. When I looked back, Cane was standing at the door with his head hung low, waiting for me. Dad looked at Cane and his fists clenched. I could tell he wanted to blame him for this, beat him into a pulp.
“It’s not his fault,” I said, catching Dad’s eyes. “None of this was ever his fault.”
Dad scoffed, another tear falling, and turned away, storming into the kitchen. I hugged Mom one last time, but it only made her break down even more. She pressed a fist to her upper lip and shut her eyes like she couldn’t watch me go. I hated seeing her like this. I hated that I was even doing this, but it was too late to back out now. She was just as torn as I was, and I hated that.
“Love you, Mom,” I whispered, wrapping an arm around her.
I pulled away, but she caught my hand before I could get too far. “Kandy, honey, please. You know how your father is. You know he needs time.”
I lifted her hand and clutched it tight. “Mom, please?”
Her eyes widened, and with that one simple request, she let me go. Her tears slowed, her mouth no longer trembling. She stared at Cane, but didn't frown. Just stared. Then she took a step back, and dropped her head.
I met Cane at the door. He escorted me out, but before he could close it, I took one look back. Mom was sitting on the bench in the hall sobbing. Dad had rounded the corner and was watching us go. The last thing I saw him do was pinch the bridge of his nose and break down in a sob too, before Cane shut the door behind us.
Chapter Forty
KANDY
“You okay?” Cane asked when we were inside his car.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t, honestly. I stared back at the house knowing that I wouldn’t see it again for a while, if ever again. I knew in that house that my parents were broken and it was all because of me.
Cane put the car in gear and pulled out of the driveway. When he drove away, my heart dropped to my stomach. I took one last look back at the home where I was raised. The home where I learned how to flip my first pancake, and had my first sleepover, and big birthday party with a bouncy castle at the age of seven.
Was it selfish of me to leave them like that? Should I have stayed a little longer, tried to convince Dad to accept who I loved?
I knew it was hard for him to understand. He was a man with voluptuous pride and Cane had been his best friend. But at the end of the day, I was his daughter, and he was supposed to love me more than anything—more than what he thought was wrong or right. More than his disdain for Cane and even his stubbornness. He was supposed to show me that no matter what I wanted, or how I wanted it, or who I wanted, that he would be there. But he didn’t.
Instead, he looked away. He pleaded, but it wasn’t enough because I knew if I’d stayed he would have tried to convince me to look the other direction and pretend that my heart didn’t beat for his former friend. But it did.
When I looked up at Cane, my vision was blurry. He felt me looking at him and met my stare. Grabbing my hand, he held the tips of my fingers, bringing the back of my hand to his lips and kissing it. I don’t know what it was about that one kiss that gave me a spark of hope. I could feel his emotion too. He was breaking as well, and knew that the decision I made was going to hurt me more than anything. It would hurt my parents too, but they weren’t the ones living this life.
We rode in silence for the most part, a melodic song by John Legend pouring from the speakers. Cane pulled into his neighborhood and up to his house and when he got out of the car, I sat there for a moment, staring at the house—this large beautiful house—and realizing that I was going to spend more time here than I would anywhere else.
I realized that my life had changed so much from what it was before. I’d lost my scholarship and probably my family too. I was no longer the little girl who was afraid of this man. I was the little girl who had blossomed into a woman and fell in love with this man. I felt my love for him deep in my soul, right down to the core. I cared for him more than I thought I ever could care for anyone. I never thought a time would come where I actually had to choose between my parents and Cane. Not like this.