“I don’t deserve such quick forgiveness from you.” Jade sat the doll next to the board game on the ottoman. “You know I’ve never lied to you before and I don’t like how all this came out.”
Livie nodded in understanding as she came over and took a seat on the edge of the cushion next to Jade. “I know. That’s what makes this so difficult. I don’t like the position you’ve put yourself in. What were you thinking, getting involved with Cash?”
Jade laughed and fell back against the cushions. “Honestly, he was so charming at the wedding. But it was before that. When we were flying and bickering like we do, then the plane started causing issues, and I was terrified, I saw a new side of him. He was controlled and almost comforting.”
Livie reached across and patted Jade’s leg. “Cash is a great guy. I’m more shocked that the two of you . . . well, pretty much everything.”
Yeah, Jade had been just as surprised, but then things just clicked. One right after another after another. She’d been unable to prevent the roller coaster and, honestly, she hadn’t even bothered trying. Cash had been a good time at first, but then he’d quickly turned into someone she could lean on and still have fun with. She’d never met a man like that before.
“Did you know how he got that black eye a while back?” Jade asked.
“No. He’s always got some sort of injury,” Livie said as she tipped her head. “Why? Did you give it to him?”
Jade couldn’t help but grin. “He got into a fight with Brad, defending me. He wasn’t going to tell me, but it slipped out when he was defending me to my mother at the wedding.”
Livie’s eyes widened. “So the man came to your rescue with your jerk of an ex and your uptight mother?”
Jade nodded. “I told him everything, by the way. The adoption, and why Mom and I have such a strained relationship.”
“Are you going to tell him how you feel?” Livie asked. “Because you’re so in love with that man. You have been for some time, if I’m guessing correctly.”
Nerves curled low in her belly and Jade pulled in a deep breath. How long had she been infatuated with Cash? They’d been so busy irritating each other, maybe that had just been their crazy, emotional foreplay for the past year.
Jade glanced up to the ceiling and struggled with her thoughts and what she should do next. “I don’t know. I’m scared.”
“Because you messed things up?”
Rolling her head on the soft cushion, Jade shifted her focus to Livie. “Partly, but more because I’ve never let myself feel this way. I’ve never wanted to open my heart to someone so completely. I mean, my nana is everything to me, but that was easy, you know? I have no idea what I’m doing, letting my heart get so wrapped up in a man.”
Livie smoothed her hair back and down over one shoulder. “Lo
ve is scary. There’s no safety net, no rules. Every step is a risk, and you only pray you’re making the right move.”
Jade snorted. “This isn’t a very motivational speech.”
“Just giving it to you straight,” Livie stated with a shrug. “But the best thing about love is that once you fully commit yourself, you’ll know why you had to work so hard. You’ll understand that there was no other way to the greatest decision of your life.”
Jade wished she was that brave. She wished she could just ignore her fears, her worries about being hurt. She wanted to run to Cash and apologize and explain herself and make him listen.
But what if none of that worked? Wouldn’t she rather have a little pride and a broken heart than be stripped of her pride and broken?
Livie was right; this wasn’t going to be easy. But if Cash listened to her and could handle her insecurities, maybe, just maybe, they stood a chance.
* * *
Music blasted the office as Cash sanded the newly installed drywall. He’d needed an outlet, and when beating the hell out of his punching bag hadn’t worked, he figured there was always manual labor to be done on the renovations. Anything they could do themselves saved money.
But he’d been trying to exorcise those demons in his head for the past six hours and nothing. He was still hurt, still angry, still . . . absolutely crushed.
He’d let Jade in, he’d taken a risk no matter how many times red flags waved around in his mind.
Yet even in looking back, he’d do it all again. Call him a masochist, but the time he’d had with Jade was worth the pain rolling through him now. He’d had some of the best moments of his life with her. Never before had anyone matched him and yet been completely the opposite.
Cash dropped the piece of screen he’d been using to sand the rough patches of spackle. He swiped his dusty hands across his old work jeans and took a step back to examine his work.
He’d gone over every single spot, channeling his frustrations into perfection. They should be good to go for laying the new tile in here as soon as tomorrow once the walls were wiped down. Cash didn’t plan on doing that. He needed something else to take his mind off Jade and the debacle of this morning.
If his plane were in flying condition, Cash would take to the skies and leave his issues here. Unfortunately, there was still a holdup on the insurance money. They’d finally agreed to pay, once they’d sent their own mechanic out to inspect, but Cash and Tanner had to wait for that check to get their Cessna fixed.