As soon as Jade stepped over the threshold, she took in the sight of Piper’s blue-and-white-striped teepee in the corner of the living room, a board game laying out on the oversize ottoman, and bed pillows, sheets, and blankets strewn about in what appeared to be a homemade fort.
Things had changed drastically for Livie in the past year. The Livie who’d lived in Atlanta in a posh condo wouldn’t have allowed one speck of dust, but this more-relaxed Livie had completely embraced domestic life.
“Looks like you all had a fun movie night,” Jade stated, scrambling for words and small talk.
“Last night,” Livie stated, her tone almost cold. “Jax took Piper to the store for me because he knew I was going to visit you. We didn’t want Piper going with me because we thought you were sick, but that must’ve just been another convenient lie that rolled off your tongue.”
Jade turned and focused her attention on her friend. “We didn’t start
out lying. Well, we did, but we honestly didn’t mean for things to progress into . . .”
What? Where had they progressed?
The beginning had been rash and exhilarating and completely unexpected. Then they’d come home and picked up where they left off. Things seemed to progress faster than she could keep up. She’d been afraid of a relationship, especially when he tossed the idea out there, then she’d started wondering if maybe they could be more. But in the end, she’d destroyed any chance of having more with Cash other than a few weeks of the most amazing days of her life.
Cash’s hint of deeper feelings this morning had scared her, but then, when he flat out declared his love, she’d realized what she’d lost.
“I even asked you what was going on,” Livie stated. “More than once.”
A sick feeling formed in her stomach as she nodded. “I know, and I wanted to say something. The fling started and we didn’t think it would go any further than Nashville, but everything just sort of spiraled out of control and we got caught up in each other. We never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
Yet now that the secret was out, everyone was hurting.
Silence settled heavily in the room like an unwanted guest. Jade never recalled a time when there had been any type of a wedge between her and Livie, and she was positive she didn’t like this feeling. They’d even gone through the rough, hormonal teenage years together and never had an issue that forced them apart. Jade wouldn’t let her careless actions destroy years of friendship.
“You’re my best friend and closer than any sister could be,” Jade added when she couldn’t stand the quiet. “Try to look at all of this from my point of view. Cash and I knew we weren’t going to end up in holy matrimony like you and Mel with Jax and Tanner, so we just didn’t say anything. We weren’t even dating. We figured if you guys knew, you’d think we were more than, well . . . sex.”
Livie’s brows drew in, then she shook her head and smiled. “You have no clue, do you? Cash is in love with you. I saw it plain as day on his face earlier, and when he turned to go upstairs, you didn’t see the pain. That only comes from a man who’s broken. I saw it with Jax when he thought I was leaving Haven.”
Jade had seen the pain. She’d stared back at the angst filling his eyes as he’d stood in her bedroom. He’d never looked at her with such a cold stare, but she’d seen beyond that to the underlying vulnerability. Cash had put his defense mechanism in place and used it in an attempt to shut down all his emotions.
“I know he loves me,” Jade whispered, emotions clogging her throat. “I’ve messed this all up.”
Livie moved across the room and held out her arms. With a sigh of relief, Jade stepped forward and welcomed her friend’s embrace. She hated having her heart so exposed, hated even more that she’d screwed up something so amazing and hurt the one man she’d grown closest to . . . the man she’d fallen completely in love with.
But could she trust herself? She’d never known this type of sentiment. Other than Nana and Livie and Mel, Jade hadn’t formed very many close relationships. How could she believe that any of this was even real?
“What am I going to do?” Jade sniffed into her friend’s shoulder. “He hates me, for good reason, and I’m a hot mess of confusion and fear.”
“You’re allowed to be afraid. That’s perfectly normal, and you two didn’t exactly go into this like a normal relationship.” Livie eased back and smoothed Jade’s hair from her face. “And I’m positive Cash doesn’t hate you. Feelings don’t just get turned off like that. He’s hurting, he’s angry, but those reactions wouldn’t be so strong if he didn’t love you.”
Maybe not, but Cash wouldn’t give her another chance. He’d been so damaged by his ex and he’d finally just opened up about his father. Taking a step like that, for him, was huge. Cash didn’t just reveal his innermost thoughts to anyone. He’d chosen her because he’d wanted more and she’d been too afraid to take what he was so freely giving.
The ache in Jade’s heart was unlike anything she’d ever known, but if she went to him and told him she loved him now, he wouldn’t believe her.
“I don’t know how to fix this.” Jade swiped at her damp cheeks and looked to her friend for help. “With you and Melanie, with my mother, with Cash. I’ve made a complete mess.”
Livie smiled. “You have, but you’re human.”
Processing everything that had happened in the past few hours, trying to regain control over her jumbled emotions had finally drained her energy. Jade turned and stepped over a little blond doll, then took a seat on the sofa. She reached down and picked up the toy, readjusting the twisted purple dress.
“Piper is supposed to clean up the mess when she gets home,” Livie stated. “I wasn’t feeling great this morning, so I just let it go.”
Jade swallowed that damn lump of guilt that kept forming. While her expectant friend had been battling morning sickness, she’d made her way over to check on Jade, thinking she was sick as well.
“I’m really sorry, Liv. How are you feeling?”
“Better,” she replied with a smile. “Don’t worry about me right now. We need to focus on you and how all this can be fixed.”