“Yeah, well, you bring out a different side of me.”
And she did. He’d never wanted to tell anyone about his father. Not that Cash was embarrassed, but he did have pride, and he also wanted to protect his dad. The man didn’t want to be trapped in his own living hell. He hadn’t purposely set out to destroy years of time with his son, but he’d done it just the same.
She reached up and framed his face with her delicate hands. When she made such sweet, simple gestures, Cash couldn’t help the stirrings that shifted through him. He couldn’t help but wonder where they were going and what she wanted to come from this.
“I’ll listen to anything you want to say,” she told him, her eyes holding his. “But don’t feel like you have to.”
Cash reached up and circled her wrists. He knew he wasn’t obligated to tell her anything; she’d offered to help the one time, but she hadn’t pressed.
“My mother passed away in a car accident when I was young,” he started. He didn’t release her, as if holding on to her gave him the extra boost of strength he needed. “When it was just Dad and me, I thought we did okay. But each year that passed, I started seeing him decline. I didn’t realize at first what was going on. Maybe I was too busy with my life and selfishly didn’t want my dad not to be perfect hero material. I don’t know. But one day he didn’t show for one of my football games, and it was senior night. When I got home, I was so pissed. As soon as I stepped through the door, though, I found him passed out on the sofa with an empty whiskey bottle at his feet.”
He could still see the image, still feel the fear and rage in that seventeen-year-old boy.
“For a split-second, I didn’t know if he was dead, too,” Cash went on. He glanced down to where the hem of his shirt hit Jade’s bare thighs. “The booze became a problem, until one day I realized there were bigger problems.”
Pulling in a shaky breath, he glanced back up to her and eased her hands between them as he held on. “He decided the alcohol wasn’t numbing the pain enough, so he added in a few painkillers here and there. Anything to help him cope. Her birthday, their anniversary, the date she died . . . he had a reason for needing his pills on any given day.”
Unshed tears formed in Jade’s eyes, but she never looked away. She sat there, dressed in his shirt, wrapped all around him, taking in his pain.
This was why he wanted to let her in. Jade was part of him, she was his soul, his heart. There was no use trying to ignore his feelings because everything in him loved this woman.
But if he dropped that on her now, he figured she’d scurry right off this bed and put up some protective shield.
So he kept the thoughts to himself, and because he needed her, he needed her support. Besides, he needed to get used to love. He’d thought he’d been in love once, but that had turned out to be a lie because what he felt for his ex was absolutely nothing compared to all the feelings he had for Jade.
“You know I was married once,” he added. Might as well tell her everything, because at some point he was going to have to address the fact that he’d fallen in love with her. He needed her to be well aware of where he came from.
“Not long, though. Right?” Jade asked.
Cash shook his head. “I thought we were it for each other. I mean, we were compatible in bed, so what else did a newly married couple need?”
Jade squeezed his hands. “Considering you’re in my bed, let’s keep your ex out.”
Cash smiled at her playful tone. One tear slipped down her cheek and he reached up, swiping it away with the pad of his thumb.
“I just want you to be clear that I wasn’t in love with her.” He rejoined their hands and eased her a little closer. “When things started really going all to hell with Dad, she couldn’t handle it. I’m not sure if it was me being called at all hours of the night and day to come to his place, or when I had him come live with us so I could keep a better eye on him, or if she was embarrassed the first time we had to take him to rehab. Who knows? I didn’t ask, because if she couldn’t handle all that, she wasn’t for me.”
Jade scooted until she couldn’t get any closer, then she circled his waist with her legs and looped her arms around his neck.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” she told him. “I know Jax and Tanner were here, but I’m guessing you were stubborn and tried to do everything yourself.”
Oh, how well she knew him.
“Not stubborn,” he corrected, resting his hands on her thighs. “I just didn’t want to burden them with my problem.”
“Like I said. Stubborn.”
Maybe he was, but at least she knew what she’d gotten in to. She deserved to know everything if he was going to declare his newfound feelings.
“After the divorce, I swore I wouldn’t let myself get caught up with another woman.” He rested his forehead against hers. “And then we went to Nashville.”
Jade laughed and eased back. “I think that trip took both of us by surprise.”
Cash studied her, really tried to see this from
her point of view. She hadn’t wanted a committed relationship any more than he had. But she was still here, and that wedding had been weeks ago.
For someone who technically pushed through life on her own, Jade was the most remarkable woman he’d ever met. Every day he got to know more and more about her made him want to spend more time with her.