"Oh boy." Milly walks past me and sits down at one of the chairs at the table in the corner. The quarters were obviously designed for those of mesakkah build, because she looks dwarfed in the chair, and it's too small for me to use. She makes herself comfortable, adjusts her skirts, and gives me a knowing look. "Can I speak freely?"
"Can I stop you?"
"Great. Excellent." Milly clasps her hands on the table. "Are you mad that Mina was left behind? Because if you are, I totally get it. Or are you mad about what she said to you?"
The look on her face is probing and yet sympathetic. I do not know what to say, though. I am not used to people…liking me. "Mina betrayed me," I say finally. "She was not who I thought she was."
Milly straightens. "I thought that was the case. Okay. Great. So now I get to tell you that you're being an idiot."
That is…unexpected. "What did you say?"
"I said that you're an idiot." Milly gives me a sweet smile. "You're letting your feelings get in the way of common sense. You do realize Mina said all that nonsense just to get you on the ship with us?"
I glare at her. Of course I considered such a thing. "She said—"
Milly raises a hand, cutting me off. "She said all kinds of nasty, hurtful things. I know. You were drugged and upset and she was afraid that Lord hs'Serr would change his mind. So she wanted you on our ship as quick as possible. She knew you'd be upset if she couldn't go, so she said those things to ensure that you'd leave with us."
I can feel myself frowning down at her. "How do you know this?"
"Because I'd do the same for my husband," Milly says softly. "And when I met Mina, I realized she was in love with you. The moment we had a moment alone, she was begging me to save you. She was terrified that Lord hs'Serr was going to get you killed—and I think she was right. Our intel tells us that Lord hs'Serr was placing bets that you'd lose in the championship and then he'd make a great deal of credits by betting against you. Mina was absolutely terrified and her only thought was to get you to safety. She never asked me about herself. She never asked me to help her. She just wanted me to protect you."
My gut clenches. "She asked about me?"
"She loves you." Milly continues to smile at me. "She wanted you safe from harm." At my skeptical look, she makes a gesture with her hand. "Think about your private moments together. Do those line up with how Mina was acting?"
I think about Mina, then. I think about Mina in the shower, touching me with that pleased look on her face. I think about Mina pulling the blankets over her head and putting her mouth on my cock. I think about Mina stroking my hair and holding me after my finger was removed, and how her tears dripped down onto my skin.
I am a fool. I am a dozen times a fool.
"This is worse," I tell Milly, suddenly agonized. I clench my hand into a fist, wanting to drive it into my own skull. "Because I've left Mina behind. We promised each other…we promised we'd escape together. And I have left her—"
She shakes her head, stopping me before I can lose control. "I know. I think Mina knew you'd react badly and that's why she said what she did. It's not ideal that we had to leave her behind. I don't like leaving any human in slavery, ever." Her mouth grows firm and hard with determination and her eyes glitter with steely intent. "But Lord hs'Serr was being difficult. He was in a pissy mood because we backed him into a corner to get you out of his hands. We can’t steal her from him because he’s right – she was a gift from Lady dra’Niiron, and no one wants that lady on their bad sides. It would cause a nasty incident and friction between several Houses if we stole her. We had to leave her. It’s not ideal, but it’s temporary. We have a saying back on Earth—we've lost the battle, but not the war. Be patient."
Patient.
I have never had to be patient before, ever.
33
CRULDEN
It takes weeks for Lord va'Rin's plan to be enacted.
They are the best and worst weeks of my life.
I hate the waiting. Hate it. Lord va'Rin reaches out to some of his fellow nobles on Homeworld, enacting some sort of plan to outmaneuver Lord Sir—or Lord hs'Serr, since I've been saying his name wrong all this time—and I'm told that these things take time. That because it involves a trivial matter (a human) that we have to wait for his friends to take the time out of their busy schedules full of parties and social events to answer.