They leave us alone for the rest of the day, but when Mina returns from the kitchens with the evening meal, she's got a faint frown of displeasure on her face. "They were going to add a pain medication to your food and a sedative. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about that, so I made them put it in a separate jar."
"No sedative," I say, trying to flex my wounded hand in the bandages. "I don't like being groggy."
She gives me a fierce look. "I don't like you hurting."
"Then come make me feel better." I pat the side of the bed. I've been in it for most of the day and it's odd to lie about after the last few weeks have been so busy. I don't tell Mina that my wounds burn like acid. I vaguely remember Lord Sir mentioning something about coating them with something to ensure that they'd scar. It makes it impossible for me to sleep, and all I want to do is rip the bandages off and claw at the various spots on my body. But I suppose they won't let me do that, either. So I want Mina's company.
My female sets the tray down and climbs into bed next to me. She studies the nasty, covered bite on my shoulder and then moves a little lower, setting her head on my chest. "Tell me if I bother you."
"Never." I can't resist the sight of her, and I put my hand in her soft hair, pleased I can finally touch her without worrying I'm going to stab her somehow. "I like my claws short. It lets me touch you properly."
"I don't like it," Mina says, her fingers playing with the hair low on my belly. Her breath fans over my skin, warm and gentle. "It's another thing I've fucked up. You need every advantage going into your fights. Maybe I should talk to the scientist and see if he can give you something to amplify regrowth—"
"No." I don't want more stimulants.
Mina sighs again, as if I'm being impossible, and her fingertips move over my lower stomach. She's rather close to my cock, and I can't avoid the realization. A dark, terrible thought in my head appears and I wonder how easy it'd be to push her down toward it, to suggest that she pleasure me. But no. Mina has enough people demanding things from her. I won't be one of them if I can help it.
"You know they're going to make you fight," she says in a small voice. "And they're probably going to bet against you."
"Probably." I can't think about it right now. If I die, I can't protect Mina, and somewhere in all this, protecting Mina has become my priority. So I can't die. I have to win my bouts, even if they're rigged. "We'll figure something out."
She rubs her cheek against my skin. "We will, won't we?"
"We will," I promise.
Her hand steals to my cock, stroking my length through the training loincloth, the only clothing they give me now. I harden instantly, an ache of lust roaring through my system. "Can I touch you?" she asks, her voice a whisper. "Or do you hurt too much?"
I want her to touch me more than anything…but tonight, it feels wrong. I want Mina to touch me because she wants to touch me, not because she feels guilty over what happened. If she touches me today, I don't know which one it is. So I stroke her hair. "Can we just be together like this for tonight?"
"Of course," she says softly, and presses a kiss to my stomach. "I'm sorry you hurt so much."
I don't correct her. I just card my fingers through her soft hair. A few days from now, perhaps, when she's feeling less responsible, we can touch each other again. For now, I need to make sure Mina wants me - cloned beast and all—and that's going to take time.
They give me a day or so to rest up, and then it's back to the training pit. It makes Mina unhappy, but I'm not surprised. They don't care if my hand hurts, or if the wound on my shoulder burns when sand brushes over the surface. They want me training.
So I train.
Things between Mina and me are different, too. She's in my cell with me at night, at my side when I train, but the easiness between us is gone. It's been replaced by something vaguely uncertain, and when we go to sleep at night, I don't reach for her. I want her to be the one to reach for me. Maybe it's my pride that insists that Mina show she wants me for me and not because she feels guilty, but I need her to reach out.
And she doesn't, which makes things strange between us. I don't know what to think. Mina's not here of her own volition, so I shouldn't be mad or hurt if she doesn't touch me. Yet that's exactly what I am—I'm angry and upset because she hasn't closed the gap between us. She hasn't decided to touch me just because she wants to touch me.