kind of TDYs. Not tonight."
His silence said it all anyway. His job had been hard enough on Pam. Why hadn't he realized how much tougher moments like this would be for Julia? Sure, she didn't love him, but marriage and friendship had drawn her into his world, a world that had already dealt her the worst blow.
Julia traced a toe along the seam in the wood floor. "Can you tell me when you'll be back?"
That much he could share. "I should be home in a month, a few days before the squadron Valentine's Day party."
She nodded, her toe making inroads along the wood grain. "Okay, then."
Zach scratched his unshaven face and searched for a way to fix the mess he'd landed them in. He could feed her a few details of the mission without breaking security, enough to reassure her.
He sat beside her, his eyes fixed on his hands between his knees. Zach circled the wedding band round and round his finger. "I'm taking a couple of crews to assist the Secretary of State on some diplomacy visits for the next few weeks." By necessity he omitted the location. "We're hauling supplies for the Secret Service detachment. Their surveillance equipment, SUVs. That kind of thing.">"Zach, you make me crazy sometimes."
"The feeling's a hundred-percent mutual."
"Good." She rose up on her knees, pressing her body flush against him.
His arm locked around her waist to keep her from pitching off the glider.
"Kiss me because I want you to," she whispered the caramel-tinged invitation against his mouth. "You told me all I had to do was let you know, and you wouldn't turn me away."
She slipped a finger into the waistband of his jeans, inching his T-shirt up and out.
He gripped her hand, his stomach going taut against the soft temptation of her fingers. If he could keep her talking, maybe he could stop himself from making a Texas-sized mistake. "I'm not turning you down, Jules. Just wondering about the big turnaround."
"No turnaround at all. I've always wanted you. I wasn't ready then and now I am. We could go inside and I'll prove it to you." She shook her hand free and tunneled under his shirt, fingernails scoring lightly against his stomach. "Or I can show you over there in the playhouse."
Her words blasted away the last of his restraints. Forget questioning what had changed her mind. He would dodge those land mines later. For now, he would take her to bed and do his determined best to show her how un-freakin'-believable he knew it could be between them.
Zach scooped Julia up and headed for the door.
Julia locked her arms around Zach's neck and eyed the door. Only three more steps to the total forgetfulness she knew Zach would give her.
She didn't doubt for a minute that he could deliver. The intensity of his gaze told her flat-out. She would be the lucky recipient of Zach Dawson's meticulous, determined, totally intense attention. He toed the door open, tucking sideways before kicking it shut.
Julia secured her hold on his shoulders. "I should tell you to put me down before you hurt yourself."
"You're kidding, right?" he answered, never breaking stride. "You don't weigh half as much as Bronco."
"Bronco? Thanks, I think." She laughed and loved the sound. She needed this, fun and Zach. "You carried Bronco?'
Zach charged down the hall, stopping outside the computer room. She wasn't about to question the locale. The daybed might be small, but there wasn't a baby in there.
He bent to grab the doorknob. "Fireman's carry during an emergency exercise. Fire drill from a plane."
Fire drill? Her heart thumped a nauseating pace. Don't think. She stuffed thoughts of fire drills and crash preparations deep into the mental trash where they belonged. Julia drew Zach's head back down to her as he strode into the room, kissing him, drinking the heady mixture of Zach and the lingering taste of his beer.
He stopped at the foot of the narrow daybed. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
She traced his ear with the tip of her tongue. "I haven't made love with you, Zach, not yet," she whispered an altered echo of his words to her from two months ago. "But I still know I want you."
He growled his appreciation against her mouth, reaching down to swipe aside a pile of pillows.
One knee on the edge of the bed, he lowered her. She inched up the fluffy comforter, urgency pulsing through her as she extended her arms for him to join her. Zach's solid weight pressed her into the downy softness.
Three mind-numbing kisses later, he seared a path down her neck with gentle nips that sent her arching up, frenzied for more. He worked his way down with the methodical attention to detail she'd known he would shower over her. Her shoulder, the hollow of her neck, already her br**sts tingled in anticipation, strained, yearned. His mouth closed over her, leaving a damp circle on her T-shirt before he lingered along her stomach.
He gently snapped the waist of her pajama pants with his teeth. "You ready for more?"