“Well then we have a problem��—she scratched her chin absently, her eyebrows furrowing together as if her lawyer brain was putting together something big—“because I don’t want to go. I need to stay and help, even if it’s just giving out those little half-pint cartons of orange juice to thirsty children.”
Her face smoothed, and she jabbed him in the chest with one finger to make her point. “By some quirk of fate, I survived unscathed, and now I want to give back by helping those who haven’t been as lucky.”
He tipped his head, certain he couldn’t have heard her correctly. “Listen, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s tough to walk away from people in need, but there aren’t many chances to get out of here.” And he was damn well going to make sure she was on that plane. “Right now, it’s just your adrenaline talking.”
She laughed lightly, but her sky blue eyes still weren’t smiling. “Don’t you think you’re carrying the he-man stuff a little too far?”
Hands hitched on his gun belt, he measured his words to keep from snapping. Because right now what he really thought, what he really felt, was that he’d dodged enough of a bullet having her remain safe so far. Any more would be tempting fate. He’d done well in not thinking about Marissa or his daughter, but he knew damn well his own adrenaline letdown was due and it was going to be a helluva night trying to process everything that had happened.
He needed to be assertive about her next move. “If you stay, you will be in the way of rescue workers who need to do their jobs.”
“You’re trying to get rid of me.” Hands falling on his chest, she brushed cotton wrinkles flat.
He clasped her fingers, stopping her. “I’m trying to keep you safe. Keep you alive.” Frustration roiled inside him, searing along already-raw nerves. He needed her safe, damn it. He grasped her shoulders and willed her to understand how important it was for her to get on that plane.
“I love you, Amelia. Okay?” The words were damn near ripped out of him. He hadn’t had the time to sort through what it all meant, but in weighing the cost, he hoped it would help the cause. “I’ve been through the hell of losing someone I loved once and I can’t go through that hell again. I can’t take having you here where something could happen to you.”
She went still, her eyes stunned and giving him no hint of what she was thinking or feeling. “You love me?”
“Yeah, I think I do. Wait,” he held up a hand, needing to get this right. There was no quibbling to give himself an out. There was no going back for him now. “I know I do.”
“Oh, Hugh,” she said with a hint of regret, her eyes turning sad. She bracketed his face in both her hands, even though they stood in the middle of a busy airfield. “What you’re saying is beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not so sure you’re thinking clearly now. I believe this past week with Joshua and me has stirred up the pain of losing your wife and child.”
No shit.
He bristled, her rejection stinging, especially after what they’d just shared. Or what he’d thought they shared. Damn it all, he was certain she’d felt it too. “I know that you and Marissa are not the same. In fact, you’re nothing alike.” He tugged her by the arm, pulling her out of the path of troops marching past, and stopping under a half-uprooted tree. “If you don’t love me, then say so. Don’t try to make up some bullshit excuse about me not knowing my own mind.”
“Can you deny that you’ve been thinking of her? Everything that’s gone on has to have been tangled up in your feelings for what happened then.”
“Okay, I get it,” he said bitterly. “You’re the one who’s tangled up in the past. Just because your ex was a jackass who couldn’t tell one woman from the other doesn’t mean I’m a clueless bastard too.”
She shook her head. “I’m over him, and you know it.”
“And I believe you about as much as you seem to believe me.” He stepped back, feet planted, shoulders braced. “It’s time for you to get on that plane.”
“That’s it? One minute you’re in love with me and the next you tell me to get out of your life?”
“This isn’t about saying good-bye forever. It’s about you staying somew—” He ground his teeth as a trio of Red Cross workers passed, carrying stacked boxes of meals. “This isn’t the time or the place for an argument.”
“Yeah, well, I disagree. If I’ve learned anything over the past week, it’s that we can’t take a minute for granted. I want to be here, to help, and yes, to be with you.” Her scraped chin jutted, her sunburned cheeks peeling, and still she was magnificent. “I’ve also learned I’m a lot stronger than I realized. I’m not just a fighter in the courtroom, and then a wimp when it comes to facing the rest of the world.”
“I could have told you that.” Although her stubborn strength was a pain at the moment.
“Then why are you the only one who gets to be a crusader here? Why do I have to be shuffled aside to a safe little corner? Hell, it’s not like I’m going to be crawling under collapsed buildings the way you are. What if I were to ask you to take on a safer role?”
“That’s ridiculous. This is my job. My calling.”
“Well, while this may not be my job, believe me when I say I do feel called to be a part of the cleanup efforts here, to do something for the place that gave my family Joshua—”
Her voice cracked, and she looked away fast.
Realization seeped into his brain. “You don’t want to get on the plane with them. Do you?”
And as much as he knew it was going to hurt her, he said the words he hoped—he prayed—would make her get on that plane anyway. “I’ve heard there are no more planes carrying civilians out for God only knows how long, because they’re locking down the island until Jocelyn can be found. We’re almost certain she has one child with her and there could be more.”>The thought of never feeling this again, of never having him in her life in this way, made her ache to scream in frustration. Made her burn to hold on to this moment, hold on to him all the harder.
He drove into her again and again, the angle, the friction sending electric tingles from between her legs, showering higher. As the bliss tore through her, she bit his shoulder to keep from crying out, her mouth and her nails marking him in an outward way just as he’d marked her heart.
Fighting back the need to finish, she squeezed her eyes closed, her fists gripping and unfurling against his shoulders. He whispered along her neck, and she felt the words more than heard them. Perceived his own ravenous need to make this last, to milk every ounce of ecstasy until the sensation sharpened, gathering not just in the tight bundle of nerves but also inside her, converging, exploding.