“Um, okay, it’s like this.” She hadn’t really expected him to look so dumbfounded. Was this going to be a problem? Because it had been during school. Which is why she’d been taken out and tutored at home until she’d turned thirteen, when she’d begged to go back to school. By then she’d had a hearing aid that was so small no one had even known she wore one. Except for Archie. She’d made the mistake of telling that fucker. After he’d taken her virginity.
“I’m pretty much completely deaf in my left ear. Probably have been since I was born although it wasn’t picked up until I was about five. Then I had to wear these horrible hearing aids. I hated them. Destroyed a couple of them to my mother’s exasperation.” Her father had been furious. But she’d rather not think of that. She remembered the yelling, though. The way her father’s face had grown almost purple with rage. She hadn’t understood why he was so angry. Then. Now she knew.
Because he’d demanded perfection. And she’d been broken. Which made him furious. Not that her father had needed much to send him into a rage. How many times had Freddy stepped between her and that giant bastard, prepared to defend her?
She took in a sharp breath. She didn’t want to think of him right now. This wasn’t the place.
“I guess if this is a problem for you, it’s best to find out now, right?” Because, if it was, she wanted nothing to do with the ass. So she wasn’t perfect? So what? Didn’t make her less of a person. She wasn’t a jerk who kicked puppies or knocked over old ladies. “I’m just going to get dressed and get out of here, and we need never talk about this again.”
Because she never intended to talk to the douchebag again.
“Freeze,” he commanded as she turned away.
To her shock, she immediately stilled. Damn it. And damn him and his stupid Dom voice. Why did she have to be so susceptible to it?
“Ria, you seem to have jumped to one hell of a conclusion. You didn’t even give me a chance to reply after telling me about your hearing. You just immediately decided that I would . . . what? Find you lacking? Be turned off because you wear a hearing aid? I assume you’re wearing a hearing aid now since you don’t seem to have any problems hearing me.”
She nodded.
“Words.” His voice couldn’t get any colder. In fact, she felt a chill slide across her skin. Shit. Why hadn’t she kept quiet?
Because she hated lies. She hated having to hide who she was. And even though she’d done it to protect herself from any more hurt, she just couldn’t keep this to herself. Not if she wanted to do this with him. And maybe once he was gone, she’d might consider playing in the dungeon again. If she did that . . . yeah, she had to lay it out. Because if it was found out that she’d lied on her contract a second time she knew she’d lose all of this. Her membership and most likely her job.
Her only family.
“Yes, Sir. I wear a hearing aid. It fits into the ear canal and you can’t see it.”
He nodded. “So why didn’t you tell me earlier? Because you thought I was going to react badly? Did you think I would be angry because you kept this from me?”
“Maybe a little,” she whispered.
He studied her. “That wasn’t really it, though, was it? You wouldn’t get that upset over my anger. That’s something you could deal with. So what was it? You thought I’d be horrified? Disgusted?”
She flinched.
“Who did you tell who turned away from you? Who reacted negatively?”
She let out a humorless laugh. “Almost everyone.”
“Who, Ria?”
She couldn’t tell him. She wasn’t ready.
His gaze narrowed. Fuck, she’d disappointed him. “Okay. I can see you’re not willing to talk about that. Right now.”
What did that mean? That he thought she might later tell him? Did that mean he wasn’t turning her away?
“Someone hurt you over this, which is why you just tried to push me away before I could do the same to you.”
She sucked in a breath.
“But you judged me too quickly and unfairly,” he told her in a stern voice that had no bend. “We haven’t known each other long, but I don’t believe I’ve done anything that would indicate I am the type of man who would give a flying fuck that you wear a hearing aid. Well, not beyond how it affects your health and safety. I’m glad you were honest and told me since it’s something I needed to know so I could take care of you properly. I am not happy at the way you just took what someone else did to you, someone else’s reaction, and projected it onto me.”
“He rejected me,” she whispered.
“What?”
“After I told him. We’d just . . . oh, fuck, we’d had sex. He was my first. And I thought I could tell him anything. I thought he fucking loved me. And when I told him, he looked at me like I was trash. Like I was worth nothing. He dropped me off at my car. We’d fucked in the backseat of his, classy, huh? And then he didn’t take any of my texts or calls.”