“School let out over an hour ago.” Noah went on. “Are you at Aoife’s? I can come get you.”
“No,” I answered breathlessly. “I’m not at Aoife’s.”
“Then where are—”
“I’ll meet you at the house in five minutes,” I told him before abruptly hanging up.
“Do you have to go?” Kean asked, looking disappointed.
“Yeah, I have a driving lesson that I forgot about, but maybe I could come back later?”
“Sure,” he nodded enthusiastically. “I’ll be here.”
I grabbed my things and left. As I approached Vee’s house, I spotted Noah standing outside. He threw the butt of his cigarette to the ground and stubbed it out with his boot. Self-awareness took over as his eyes wandered over me. His focus settled on my lips, and I worried he saw how puffy they were from kissing Kean.
Not that it was any of his business. Right.
His eyes narrowed. “Where were you?”
“At the library.”
“You walked all the way from the library in five minutes?”
“No, I was already on my way home when you called,” I lied. I didn’t know how he’d react if I told him the truth. Would he be jealous and lash out? Or would he not care at all? With Noah it was so hard to predict his behaviour.
I dropped my bags inside the porch and went to get into the car when he stopped me. “You know how to drive a car now. I thought today we’d mix things up a little.” He nodded to his motorbike, and I vehemently shook my head.
“No way. I already told you. I have zero aspirations to learn how to drive one of those death traps.”
Noah took several steps closer until he stood only a few inches away from me. “You don’t seem to have any problem riding on the back of it with me.”
Something about the way he was looking at me, soaking in every detail, made my throat constrict. How was it possible that a look from Noah could affect me so much more powerfully than Kean did when he kissed me?
“That’s because you know what you’re doing,” I said.
He tilted his head. “You trust me?”
“To drive a motorbike, yes.”
A low chuckle from him. “Fuck, I’ve missed you this week.” The affection in his voice almost did me in. I’d missed him, too. More than I cared to admit. He reached out and slid his fingers through mine. “You almost make that house tolerable.”
My eyebrows rose. “I do?”
“You do.” He leaned in, inhaling. “Now, do you wanna have some fun or what?”
I didn’t know what possessed me. Maybe it was his drugging proximity, or the fact that I’d missed not seeing him all week, but I replied with a breathless. “Okay.”
19.
Driving a motorbike was nothing like driving a car. Learning how to drive a car had been a practicality. I was cocooned inside a metal box with the illusion of safety. But this was pure adrenaline. There was nothing but air between the bike and the road. The danger was palpable, indulgent almost. I knew I shouldn’t enjoy it, but I did.
Noah sat behind me, his arms around my waist. Every nerve ending came alive at the hum between my legs.
“Go a little faster,” he encouraged as we sped down the empty country road.
His warmth at my back was electric. I’d never felt more powerful than I did in this moment. His presence was invigorating, awakening.
I increased my speed, and he purred approvingly. “That’s it. Use your instinct.”
One hand dropped to my thigh, and I swallowed thickly. I didn’t take my focus off the road as his hand moved higher. How could I go back to Kean tonight after this pure, unadulterated high?
Noah obliterated me for anyone else.
“Do you feel that?” he asked over the noise of the engine.
“Feel what?” I replied.
His other hand moved up and pressed into the left side of my chest. “Your heart racing.” It was hard to concentrate with his hand there.
Again, his hand on my leg inched higher. Anxiety took hold, and I blurted, “I’m joining a convent.”
Just like that, his touch fell away.
“What?” he questioned, a sudden flatness to his voice.
I slowed down, pulling to a dodgy, unpractised stop at the edge of a quiet field. I took off the helmet, about to climb off the bike, when Noah’s arms pulled me back. He brought his mouth to my ear. “Did you just tell me you’re thinking about becoming a nun?” He sounded angry now.
“I’m not thinking about it. I’m doing it.” I pulled free of his arms and got off the bike. Noah turned off the engine and stalked after me. I walked into the field, needing the open space after blurting my confession. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that the claustrophobic feeling my decision gave me was not a good sign. Becoming a nun felt like the right choice and the wrong one all at once.