Hey, let’s get lunch tomorrow
Chapter 12
My head was turned over my shoulder as I edged the corners of my car into the spot behind a truck and in front of a bulky Jeep Rubicon. It was tight, but going to school in Los Angeles had allotted me near professional parallel parking skills.
I’d driven myself on my own suggestion. It didn’t feel right asking Jacob to pick me up for a lunch where I’d then profess that I was moving away to take a job that would have me not only in another city, but working crazy hours.
Driving myself eliminated the car ride back, which I figured was destined to be some level of awkward. I really had no idea how the news would go over, whether it would be significant like Caroline had alluded to, or if he’d simply say, “okay, nice knowing you,” before politely shaking my hand goodbye. This way, I eliminated any awkward drives home.
It was noon-thirty and the morning warmth was beginning to transition into the heat of the day. I could feel it immediately after stepping out from my Focus and onto the dry pavement. The miniature strip mall that lined the street was already scattered with people, some carrying shopping bags while others held the hands of small children. The block was a cute bundle of stores, coffee shops and small diners.
I’d suggested a quaint, little family owned diner on the corner of the street. It looked almost like a 1950’s barbershop, minus the red and white pole, with a canvas extending from the roof to shadow the outside patio. It was a spot I’d been a few times before, renowned for their sandwiches that had become self-asserted as ‘The Best Sandwiches in California.’
My palms were sweaty as I walked up. Already the situation had played itself out numerous times in my head, sometimes ending well, others times ending poorly, but never ending in a way that expelled my anxiety and left me feeling ready. Instead, I carried a tremor in my stomach and a heavy angst on my shoulders that had made each step I’d taken that day move just a little bit slower than normal.
I sat down at a two-person metal table designed for the outdoors with a red, plastic tablecloth drawn over the top. Being near the back edge of the patio, my back was to the indoor portion of the diner with a surrounding view of the street in front of me. The perfect spot.
I was taking the internship. There was no reason for me not to. It was my dream and I decided that Jacob could either join in that dream or not. But that choice was now up to him. He had to choose to stay with me for the next six weeks without being able to really see me.
But, if he didn't think he could make it through the next six weeks, then it wasn't going to happen. This would be the cleanest breaking point we could ask for. Dread welled up in my stomach at the thought of him wanting to call it quits because it was going to be hard.
“You’ve known each other for a week or two,” Caroline had said, and perhaps it really was ridiculous to feel as strong as I did after so little time. I imagined Caroline on my shoulder, guiding my thoughts as I sat in preparation. She was right, I knew she was, but it didn’t make the moment any easier.
As I sat there, I realized that I’d never really seen Jacob angry. I'd never seen him disappointed. Our interactions together had never made that necessary. We’d never even argued.
And perhaps that’s evidence that I don’t actually know him that well, I thought. Perhaps Caroline was right.
We just hadn't had that much time together. Even though I knew deep in my bones that I was supposed to be with him, the truth was that we needed more time. And that was why I was so nervous. How this meeting went would determine if we had more time together or if we were calling it quits.
I caught a glimpse of Jacob's s
porty little car stopped at the light on the next block and my heart skipped a beat. He drove through the light and neared the diner moving slowly, probably looking for parking. With nothing available he turned through the next light and rounded the corner.
Down to a few minutes now, I thought to myself and checked the time on my phone. It was twelve thirty-nine, he was six minutes early for our twelve forty-five lunch, just as I’d expected.
He had a bounce in his step as he approached the restaurant, which only made my stomach twist even more. He looked happy, among other things. Happy and strikingly handsome.
He had a casual look about him, a look that was far different from the attire he’d worn to our dinner but still gave him an air of confidence. He wore his dark-framed glasses that framed his face so well and his t-shirt was a light blue polo, the kind that could be worn whether golfing or lounging at the park. It was the perfect color to bring out his eyes, I thought. Just like every color.
Everything brought out his eyes, the same eyes that would consume me from across the table when I tried to explain my predicament. I already feared it.
He neared the diner and instantly I was glad for not having selected a table on the street side of the patio. The hostess smiled as he came in and I watched through the windows as they exchanged a few words before she pointed him to our table outside. His eyes focused on me as he waved and my stomach tightened responsively as I waved back.
“Good morning,” he said as he took his seat across from me. “Or, good afternoon, I should say.”
“Hey,” I replied, and tried to force a smile until it became effortless as he beamed back at me.
Jacob’s eyes scanned the table. “You haven’t been waiting awhile, have you? You could’ve ordered something.”
“Oh, no. I just got here maybe a minute before you,” I lied, not wanting to look silly.
“Okay, if you say so,” he said, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. “This looks like a nice place.”
“It is, though not compared to the place you picked,” I said, looking around at the casual decor.
“It’s got its own kind of charm,” he said quickly and with a smile. “Plus, I love sandwiches and the sign outside says they are the best.”
“Well, fair warning, I don’t know if they’re the best sandwiches in California,” I replied. My nerves were making me contrary. I took a deep breath and smiled. “They are good, though.”