“It’s all my fault, Ellie. It’s all my fault. ”
Ellie kept telling Jeff it was okay.
No, it wasn’t okay.
“No, it’s not okay!” I yelled.
Ellie and Jeff both looked at me with concern.
Jeff stood up, took my hand, and kissed it.
“No, baby, it’s not okay. I’m so sorry I did this to you, Ari. Please don’t ask me to leave you. I just need to be with you. ”
Ellie stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed. The two most important people in my life were on either side of me, so why did I feel like I was so alone?
“I…you didn’t do this to me, Jeff. It just wasn’t meant to be,” I struggled to keep the tears from falling again.
Jeff shook his head. I knew he was beating himself up inside right now. I was feeling so many things that I couldn’t keep them straight. I was tired. I hurt everywhere. I was angry, sad, and devastated. All of this rolled up into one. My urge to comfort Jeff was pissing me the fuck off also. I just wanted to be angry with him.
“Ari, I love you more than life itself. I’ll do anything for you. I will do anything for you, baby. ”
I smiled at him because I knew he meant every word he was saying.
“Can you go push Rebecca down an empty mineshaft?”
Ellie let out a giggle.
Jeff smiled. “Baby, if you really want me to, I’d do it in a heartbeat. ”
“As much as I really want to say yes…no, I don’t want that. ”
I turned to Ellie and she gave me the sweetest smile.
“Ellie, please tell everyone they can leave. My parents need to get back to Matt. If Josh and Heather haven’t killed each other by now, I’m sure they’re ready to go insane with my baby brother. I have Jeff now. I’m gonna be fine. ” I smiled at the love of my life.
The most overwhelming feeling of comfort came over me. Just having him smile at me and tell me how much he loved me brought such a peace.
My heart was breaking inside, but somehow, I knew it was all going to be okay.
Ellie kissed me gently good bye and walked out of the room.
Jeff leaned down to softly kiss my lips.
“I love you, Arianna. ”
“I love you, too, Jeff. ”
“It’s all going to be okay. Please tell me you believe me. ”
“I believe you. ”
Too bad my heart didn’t agree with what I just said.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
JOSH
I stood there at the kitchen entrance, watching Heather play with Matt. She was amazing with him. It was no wonder she wanted to be a teacher. She had a gift. I couldn’t believe how patient she was with him, it was clear that he loved her.