I started biting and chewing on my lower lip. “A few times.”
“Friendly kisses or more?”
“At first, it was friendly, but a couple were, um…”
His eyes filled with tears. “Is that it? Is that all you did with him? You just kissed him?”
I shook my head, and then I watched his face drop as a tear escaped down his cheek. He slowly backed up and sat down on the bed.
“What did you do together if you didn’t fuck, Jessie?” he shouted.
“Scott…you have to understand that, at the time, I thought you had slept with Chelsea. I thought you’d cheated. I was hurting so bad, and he was hurting, and we both just wanted to forget…and…” I couldn’t talk anymore.
His head was down, so I couldn’t see his face. When he looked up at me, the hurt in his eyes was more than I could stand. When I started to walk toward him, he jumped up and held out his hand.
“What. Did. You. Do. With. Him?”
“Does it matter?”
He turned and knocked over the lamp on the end table. It crashed to the floor, causing me to jump back and scream.
“Yes! Yes, it fucking matters. You’re the one who brought it up, for Christ’s sake. I just made love to you all night long. Were you thinking of him while we fucked, Jessie?”
I started crying so hard that I could hardly talk. I began shaking my head frantically back and forth. “Scott…I love you…I only want to be with you.”
He walked up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Tell me what happened, Jessie. Tell me!” he screamed.
“Um…he took off my clothes, and…and he touched me.”
His eyes filled with anger, and I felt my whole body shaking.
“Where? How?”
I closed my eyes and tried to erase the memory. “He…he kissed on my nipples…while he…while he…oh, Scott, please…I made him stop, and I felt so guilty afterward…even though I thought you had cheated on me. I made him stop!” I shouted out.
“Did he finger-fuck you, Jess? Did you come?”
I couldn’t move. I tried to open my mouth, but nothing would come out.
“Jessie!”
“Yes! Yes…he touched me with his fingers, but no…I didn’t come. I made him stop almost as soon as he’d started because I couldn’t do that to you. I love you, Scott. I love you so much, even when I thought you had hurt me. I still loved you too much to do that.”
Scott looked down at his hands holding on to my shoulders, and he quickly let go. He started to back up slowly. “He touched you while you were pregnant…with my child, Jessie. You let him suck on your nipples…while you were pregnant with my child.” He started to shake his head, and then he looked at me with disgust on his face.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time! I would have never let me touch him if I had known, I swear on my life!” I cried hysterically.
Scott reached into his bag and grabbed a pair of jeans and then a T-shirt.
“Where…where are you going?” I asked in a panicked voice.
“I need to go for a walk. I need to clear my head.”
I started panicking even more. He’s going to leave me. “No…please don’t leave me. You have to believe me when I say that it meant nothing. I swear to God, it meant nothing. I just want to be with you.”
Scott turned and looked at me. “It all makes sense now—the way you were looking at him when I walked up, what you wrote to your dad on the postcard. It all makes sense.”
Wait…what is he saying? “No…” I whispered.