“FUCK! If I had only just stayed home that night, it would have never have happened and Ellie wouldn’t have this messed up idea in her head that she will never be good enough for a guy. She thinks her fate is to be alone. Like my mother. ”
Jeff took another swig of beer and looked at me. Tears filled his eyes and I was stunned. In the three years I had known this man I had never once saw him cry, even when he got hurt on the football field.
“Jeff man you cannot possibly blame yourself for what your mother did or said. You were ten years old for Christ sakes. That is not your fault. You couldn’t save her from every little thing. ” I said as a part of me just wanted to go and have a few words with their mother.
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“Gunner, be patient with her. I see how she looks at you and how you look at her. I think she is confused by what she is feeling for you. She told me tonight she is scared, she said she is having feelings for you she never felt for Ryan and she barely even knows you. ”
Holy shit my heart was pounding. She admitted to Jeff she had feelings for me? Okay, where do I go with this? I felt like I was about to get sick to my stomach so I took another drink of my beer.
“Gun, I see the panic on your face dude!” Jeff said with a small laugh.
“I’m so glad you think this is funny asshole. ” I took the last swig of my beer and set it on the coffee table. Christ…how did I even begin this with him?
“Jeff, I have these crazy feelings for Ellie. I mean shit; I have NEVER felt this way before in my life. First I thought it was just because you know…. it was your sister. You know…. you want what you can’t have and all. I mean, I literally wanted to beat the shit out of that boyfriend of hers five minutes after I met her. I kept thinking I would do anything to take away her pain while sitting in the urgent care room. I have this insane desire to take care of her. What the fuck is this?” I said as I sat back on the sofa and threw my hands into my air.
Jeff let out a laugh. “Dude…. . if I could tell you I would. I know that feeling of wanting something so bad……” Jeff just stopped and stared off into space.
“What’s going on Jeff? Do you have feelings for Ari?”
“WHAT?! What the fuck makes you think that! Ari is like a little sister to me. I mean, she is, she is…. . um she is annoying as hell. She talks to fucking much and she drives me nuts. The only feelings I have for that girl are feelings of annoyance!” Jeff said as he got up and took the two empty bottles of beer to the kitchen garbage.
“Okay, ‘cause I was a bit surprised at how much you two were going at each other all day. I just got the feeling there was some um…. . tension there. ” I said as I wiggled my eyebrows up and down.
“Fuck you dude. I had a shitty night and I’m going to sleep. ” Jeff said as he headed to the bathroom.
“What? Was Rebecca not her normal bubbly cheerleader self tonight?!” I called after him. All I got in return was a middle finger shot in my direction.
CHAPTER Nine
ELLIE…. .
I woke up from a total dead sleep. I sat up confused for a few minutes. Where the hell was I? My heart started to beep rapidly. I looked around and realized I was in Jefferson’s room. I looked down at my hand. I was surprised it did not hurt nearly as much as it did yesterday. I pushed back the covers and walked out into the kitchen. I heard someone and my heart started to flutter. Was it Gunner?
“Hey there honey! Did you sleep well?” Jefferson said in a very chipper mood.
“You must have had a good night last night to be so happy first thing this morning. ” I replied back with a yawn. I was NOT a morning person. I sat down at the bar stool on the island.
Jefferson let out a laugh. “You never were a morning person Ells. And no, my night sucked. I couldn’t wait to get home. Did you have any more nightmares?
“Nope I slept like a baby. Soooo, what’s with this date last night? How come it sucked?” I asked as Jefferson handed me a plate of scrambled eggs and a Sunny D. He started to whip up more eggs as he looked over at me like he really didn’t want to have this conversation.
“It sucked because the girl who I went out with is a cheerleader who cannot take no for an answer. I got tired of giving her excuses so I thought it would be easier to just get it over with it and go out with her. ”
“Hmmm, so there is no special girl in your heart Jefferson?” I asked as I took a bite of eggs. God I have missed his eggs! How crazy was that?
Jefferson let out a small laugh. It almost sounded like it was filled with sadness.
“Ells the only special girl I have in my heart is you honey. Always has been, always will be. ” I smiled up at him and my heart melted. I was starting to put two and two together. I really was beginning to think that Jefferson just might have feelings for Ari. Maybe I was way off here but something just was not right.
Speaking of things not being right…….
“Um, where is Gunner? Is he still sleeping?” I asked, trying not to sound like I carried too much where he was.
“Shit no that cowboy is not still sleeping! Even if he is out partying until three am he is up by six am and headed out to the gym for a workout. ” Jefferson said as he grabbed his plate and a bottle of Sunny D from the refrigerator. “He runs up to the gym, works out and runs back damn near almost every day. He puts my workouts to shame. ”
“Oh, wow. No wonder he looks…. . . ” I shut my mouth before the next words came out. Good God, I needed to get a grip. This was just insane how this boy, no not boy, MAN……it was insane how this man affected me. I was starting to bounce my leg up and down hoping I would not miss him before I had to leave.