“My father’s accident.”
Without looking at him, I nodded. “Yes. Then when Brad passed, I couldn’t figure out a good time, and every time I did try to tell you, something would happen. I know what I did was wrong—not telling you, I mean. I really didn’t mean to keep it from you.” I looked up and found him still staring at me. “I was so afraid you’d be angry.”
He flinched, then closed his eyes for a brief moment before looking back at me. “Why would I be angry?”
A laugh mixed with a sob slipped free. “Because I know you don’t want this. I mean, I know you don’t want a family, a child.” I wiped at my tears. “I’m not asking for anything from you for me, but I do think it’s important for you be in her...”
“Or his,” he said softly with a crooked smile.
I laughed. “Yes, or his. I think it’s important you’re in their life. We both had amazing parents growing up, and I want our child to have the same thing.”
“A lot has changed over the last few months,” he said, pinning me with his gaze again.
“Some things have. Not everything, though,” I whispered.
His eyes widened. “What hasn’t?”
I chewed nervously on my lip and let out a laugh as I shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter anymore. We have a little one to think about.”
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
Dirk went back to the pancakes and bacon as I fought the emotions that were waging a battle inside of me. I loved this man, and I knew it would most likely destroy me not to have him in my life. To watch him leave to go back out on the road. To know there were other women. To maybe see him settle down someday with someone else. I also knew that having him in our child’s life would be worth all the pain and hurt I’d most likely go through.
“The baby is due February twenty-fourth, by the way,” I blurted out.
Dirk didn’t bother looking at me. As a matter of fact, he did everything in his power not to look at me.
“You already knew?” It was more of a statement than a question. I stared at his back and asked, “Who told you?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
DIRK
I hated the way she looked so damn sad. I had done that to her, and it made me feel like a class-A jerk. No, an asshole. I had been so damn confused about my feelings for this woman, and now suddenly everything seemed so clear to me. If anything, my feelings for Merit had grown even stronger. I thought about Merit almost constantly, even more so after I found out about the baby.
With our eyes still locked, I said, “A lot has changed the last few months.”
Her eyes filled with defeat, like they had last night. “Some things have. Not everything, though.”
What did she mean by that? “What hasn’t?”
Merit chewed nervously on her lip, and it made my cock jump. I was a dickhead for letting her turn me on when she clearly didn’t mean to, but that was nothing new when it came to this woman. Even at sixteen, all Merit had to do was smile, rub her lips together, laugh, or simply look at me, and my body reacted.
Then she let a small, nervous laugh slip free. “It doesn’t really matter anymore. We have a little one to think about.”
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
Her entire body sagged, and I wanted to climb into her brain and figure out what she was thinking. Feeling. I busied myself with her breakfast, trying to find a way to tell her how I felt about her without her thinking I’d only had a change of heart because of the baby.
Suddenly, she said, “The baby is due February twenty-fourth, by the way.”
I focused back on the mix and worked on turning the bacon. I could feel her eyes on me.
“You already knew?” she said. “Who told you?”
“It wasn’t Timberlynn or Lincoln,” I quickly said.
A hard laugh came from her, and I looked over my shoulder.
“That only leaves the doctor, then.” Her eyes widened in shock. “Janice told you?”
“Not exactly.”
“What do you mean, not exactly? How did you find out?”
“When I was up at the hospital, waiting for Kaylee to have Rose, Janice saw Stella. They got to talking, and her nurse handed Janice some files she said were prenatal files. The nurse turned and tripped and Janice reached for her. She almost dropped the files but I caught them and … well … I saw your name and it said the due date.”
She worked her mouth open and closed a few times before snapping it shut. Most likely feeling guilty.
“Needless to say, it didn’t take me long to put two and two together,” I said. “I asked to speak to Janice, and she assumed it was about the baby. I didn’t correct her when she thought I already knew.”