“What do you mean?” I quizzed. “You are a Slater brother.”
“On paper, yeah,” he said, “but inside, I don’t feel like one.”
“Why?”
“Because they don’t treat me like their equal,” Damien answered. “They treat me like the baby they were stuck with and had to raise. I hate it; I always have. Dominic is four minutes older than I am, and he was clued in on everything because he had a job for Marco.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I remained quiet.
“Anyway.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t know that Nala was dead until we moved to Ireland and my brothers wanted out of their deal with Marco because they repaid the life debt and made Marco more money than Trent ever could. Marco wanted to keep my family under his thumb, so that night in Darkness when we were together, I was attacked until I fell unconscious. You were knocked out, too. Marco used us as bait to lure my brothers into his trap. It all went sideways for him. Trent admitted he raped and murdered Nala the day after I shot him. She came by looking for me and walked in on Trent being treated by a doctor. Marco couldn’t let her live after what she saw, so he let Trent kill her. He raped her, killed her, and then buried her in the grave that was meant for himself. She was ten weeks pregnant at the time; she had told me a few days beforehand, and I began to pull away from her because of that. I was terrified of having a baby, but it scared me more to love it in case I lost it.”
I began to silently cry.
“I didn’t know it when I was a kid, but I thought Nala’s dad packed her up and moved because I could never find either of them when I searched. I always thought she was alive and had our baby, and I was pissed at her for not allowing me to be apart of that. My parents’ death sent me into grief, but Nala kept me there, and because of her, I kept everyone at arm’s length. I was so angry with her … and all the while, I never knew that both of them were dead because of me.”
“Trent.”
Damien blinked. “What?”
“They died because of Trent, not you.” I sniffled. “You have to stop placin’ blame on your shoulders when it belongs on someone else’s.”
“Alannah—”
“No,” I cut him off. “You blame yourself for everythin’ that happened, but you were a baby. Fifteen years old. You had no control over what other people did, so stop blamin’ yourself. Marco tricked your family into workin’ for ’im. He is to blame for all of this, and Trent is responsible for killin’ Nala and your baby. Him, not you!”
Damien stared at me, and I knew it was difficult for him to do as I asked.
“You aren’t to blame.”
He blinked. “You don’t blame me for everything?”
“No,” I said. “And I know no one else does either.”
He looked down, and I knew in the back of his mind, he didn’t believe me.
“We can come back to that,” Damien said, clearing his throat. “I want to keep going.”
I nodded and waited.
“After all that happened. Everything with Darkness, with us, I decided to leave to better myself thanks to Bronagh.”
“Bronagh?”
“Yeah.” Damien nodded. “When she came by the room we were in, she was straight with me. She told me exactly how she felt, and how horrible I was for sleeping with you when I knew you liked me. She knew how much I never wanted to be like my parents, and she made me realise how I was treating girls, how I treated you, was wrong and something they would do. She was brutal, but no one else was going to tell me what I needed to hear. She flipped a switch in me.”
“What did you do when you went back to New York?”
“I removed the headstone for Trent on Nala’s grave and had a new one made for her and the baby. I know it was still inside her stomach, but it was still a baby, and I didn’t want people not to know he or she didn’t exist. You know?”
“Yeah, sweetheart, I know.”
Damien exhaled a breath. “Do you hate me for getting Nala pregnant?”
“Of course not,” I replied, shocked. “Damien, you didn’t know I existed when you and Nala were together. Don’t be silly.”
He nodded and looked down at his hands.
“Maybe … Maybe we can buy Nala and the baby a star, just like you bought me,” I suggested. “That way when we look up, we’ll know they’re out there watchin’ over us. Would that help you in any way?”
When Damien looked at me, my heart pounded when I saw unshed tears in his eyes.